To all of you saying the kids will be traumatized. My best friend in elementary school (second grade-ish?) became a big sister and as the best friend and I were invited to watch the birth. (my mom was the backup for the best friend in case the daughter needed a babysitter). The mom asked my mom if she wanted me to see it (super hippy crunchy type). My mom, who was NOT a hippie in any way, actually asked me what I wanted to do. I said no, because I was really into privacy at the time - mine and other people's. But I have always wished that I said yes. Anyway, we totally knew about it, etc, and my friend watched it. She described it to me and spoke of it in awed terms; it was clearly a really amazing thing for her. She is very close with her younger brother. I remember this same mom breastfed in front of us (this was the late 70's or VERY early 80's) and it was the first we'd seen it. I'm so happy that I was exposed to that as a child. I have hospital births for a variety of reasons (drug free, though) but I'd totally be okay with my children being with me while I gave birth. I don't think it would scare them, either. I didn't do much screaming or acting like I'm in pain at all.

Heroin.

I kid. But that poor kid. Sorry.

My epidurals rocked!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think this really varies by kids and by labor. I know plenty of people who had their kids with them in labor and none of them are traumatized. I had a med free birth and basically napped until 8 cms (when we finally left for the birth center). I grunted while pushing but I never screamed or really felt pain. I was on my hands and knees and if the kids would have stayed by my head with DH they certainly wouldn't see any of the mess that came with child birth. Plus, kids in other cultures see this kind of thing all the time. They aren't traumatized i imagine....just what they are used to. Childbirth doesn't have to be scary or gross.

But do they? I think traditionally it was girls who witnessed birth, and I think they were twelve, thirteen and up. Since you can't predict how labor is going to go, it strikes me as selfish to have, as a rule, all one's children present.

Yes, you don't know how labor is going to go, but I guess I don't see it as selfish. Most of the time (if you have proper medical assistance) they are going to be able to tell if something is wrong before it becomes catastrophic and the children would be ushered out of the room.

Anyway, I know it is not normal. But I think they are plenty of cases where it would not be traumatizing (because to be honest the vast majority of births do go fine). I am not sure it would be something I would be comfortable with but I am not going to judge people that do it.

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think this really varies by kids and by labor. I know plenty of people who had their kids with them in labor and none of them are traumatized. I had a med free birth and basically napped until 8 cms (when we finally left for the birth center). I grunted while pushing but I never screamed or really felt pain. I was on my hands and knees and if the kids would have stayed by my head with DH they certainly wouldn't see any of the mess that came with child birth. Plus, kids in other cultures see this kind of thing all the time. They aren't traumatized i imagine....just what they are used to. Childbirth doesn't have to be scary or gross.

But do they? I think traditionally it was girls who witnessed birth, and I think they were twelve, thirteen and up. Since you can't predict how labor is going to go, it strikes me as selfish to have, as a rule, all one's children present.

Eh, I think this really varies by kids and by labor. I know plenty of people who had their kids with them in labor and none of them are traumatized. I had a med free birth and basically napped until 8 cms (when we finally left for the birth center). I grunted while pushing but I never screamed or really felt pain. I was on my hands and knees and if the kids would have stayed by my head with DH they certainly wouldn't see any of the mess that came with child birth. Plus, kids in other cultures see this kind of thing all the time. They aren't traumatized i imagine....just what they are used to. Childbirth doesn't have to be scary or gross.

Epidural.....