I will say with hindsight that 3 w/in 3 years (twins) was too many. But I would never want to undue any of it.

Dear God in heaven: Edline. Lo, she is a cruel mistress...with three children you will be driven to the brink of madness with the sheer magnitude of homework if you are on the Deal track. Teachers there apparently have no children at all and think that parents have and kids have nothing better to do but homework all week and weekend long. It is infuriating.

I have four--and both of my boys were murderously difficult at 7.5, 8 and 9. They are now 10 and 13 and things are good now--but it feels like the lull before the storm. I am terrified.

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone that if you could rewind knowing what you know now, would only have 2? Not that you don't love the third but just think maybe 2 might have been good? Honestly?

I just don't see the point of ever thinking that way about anything. What's done is done.

Baby/toddlerhood is tough for the reasons noted above -- the caregiving, changing diapers, making sure toddler doesn't run into the street, etc. I personally love the ages between 6-10. That is the easiest time. The issues and the managing of the schedules is incredibly hard at the pre-teen stage (mine are 8-13). I have considered quitting my job to stay home now that we are in the pre-teens (I went back to work after 12 weeks with each kid). I also feel I need to be there when they want me, not when it is convenient for me. My oldest has made some remarkably bad choices (A/B student), but there is scientific evidence that there is a decrease in brain functions that control common sense. The challenges are just different. I am terrified of teenage years and I think that is what makes me think I was crazy to have three.

Anonymous wrote:I had 4 in 5 years so we are hitting it all at once

Me too! Mine are all in school now too (ages 6-10) and I find it quite a bit easier. I feel like we did a lot of parenting (and not just caregiving) when they were young to lay the foundation for values, attitudes, behavior etc... and now all that hard work is paying off. They are well behaved, independent,responsible and fun to do things with. I am finding it much more relaxing and far easier then having 4 little ones. Ask me again in 5 years when they are teens and maybe I will feel differently but I am really enjoying the school age period.

I come from a family of 6 so I am a bit jaded, what I found is that my parents just disciplined less with each kid. By three things weren't too bad, but my youngest sibling is a mess because they were too tired by that point, so three seems dooable but you do need to think beyond that point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 young teenagers. 3 small kids are tough - everyone here knows that. When they get older, the problems get different....homework, bullying, alcohol use, porn on the computer, making wide choices, mood swings...and, as they get older, prepare to become a 24-hr on-call limo service. Does it get easier? Physically, yes. Emotionally, it is harder. Wow did my own reply bum me out!

Exactly. And the consequences of their behavior are far more serious, like impulsively getting in the car with someone who has been drinking.

+1 However, I will say that it is less physically exhausting now that my three are older. I think I worry more because of the emotional stuff that comes with three teenagers. Despite all of it though, I love having three kids and have no regrets. My favorite thing is watching the three of them interact with eachother. They do bicker at times, but they are such good friends and that is just so heart-warming for a parent to watch!

Nope, I am one of the prior posters, and yup, I beef about them. But no way would I undo having 3. I kinda feel it was meant to be. Being married is tough. Having kids is tough. Having 3 vs 2 kids is tougher. But, look on the bright side: the more kids you have increases the odds of one of them taking care of you when you are old and pooping on yourself!

I had 4 in 5 years so we are hitting it all at once (2 in middle school and 2 in high school) and it does feel overwhelming. When they were younger it was more physcially tiring but now it is definitely more emotionally tiring. If I got paid for how much time I spend on edline I would be very rich.

There is just a lot more parenting than caregiving at this stage. No one needs their diaper changed but everyone needs "emotional" support -- honestly, I liked diaper changing better. Plus they are just idiots. My kids are super smart and well adjusted and have friends and generally good but I truly can't trust them as far as I could throw them. When given the chance they will make the idiotic choice which tends to have more consequences now rather than when they were toddlers.

It makes me drink more. This I know!