Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 10:17     Subject: Re:A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:I am a super liberal. This seems like a sad tragedy, and there may be understandable (though not excusable) reasons the mom wasn't home. Perhaps not, too.

One way or another though this mother had more children than she could care for well. And it is frustrating that people don't stop having children when they are struggling to care for the ones they have. Being poor doesn't mean everything in life is out of your hands. I wouldn't even argue a poor person shouldn't have children, but I do think the number of kids she had and the conditions they were all living in suggests a reluctance to take appropriate responsibility for herself/life.

When people insist that a person should be exempt from criticism for certain life choices they've made because they are poor and black, that in and of itself is racist and patronizing. Young, poor, black women can make good choices for themselves, but this person didn't. (and lots of young, poor, white women make bad choices too...and rich white women...just in this case this person was black, and I think the unwillingness to hold her at all responsible for her life is it's own form of prejudice).


Right...because she had access to free, perfect means of birth control. And abortion on demand.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 10:16     Subject: Re:A sad story about terrible parenting.
sad story, sounds like a horrible mom.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 10:14     Subject: A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Before judging the mom for being away from home, I'd like to know why she was away from home. If she was out partying, we should condemn that. If she was working the graveyard shift on poorly paid job and she couldn't afford childcare, that's another matter.

So if I leave my kid home alone while I work, that's ok? Or only if I can't afford to pay someone else to watch my brood? There is no excuse for leaving four children eight and under at home alone -- that's why most states have laws against it.

The fact that the children had several different fathers is irrelevant as to why she was gone that night.


I agree with this statement -- [i]what I don't agree with is that having more kids than you can afford (regardless of the number of fathers) is not per se evidence of bad parenting.

PP here. I didn't say it was. But I've known people who had too many children who at some point became responsible and got their kids to school every day and to tutoring and other programs. I don't know anything about this woman so I don't know if she is like that or not. That's I'm withholding my condemnation until I know more about her or at least the reason that she was gone from the home.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 10:11     Subject: Re:A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:I am a super liberal. This seems like a sad tragedy, and there may be understandable (though not excusable) reasons the mom wasn't home. Perhaps not, too.

One way or another though this mother had more children than she could care for well. And it is frustrating that people don't stop having children when they are struggling to care for the ones they have. Being poor doesn't mean everything in life is out of your hands. I wouldn't even argue a poor person shouldn't have children, but I do think the number of kids she had and the conditions they were all living in suggests a reluctance to take appropriate responsibility for herself/life.

When people insist that a person should be exempt from criticism for certain life choices they've made because they are poor and black, that in and of itself is racist and patronizing. Young, poor, black women can make good choices for themselves, but this person didn't. (and lots of young, poor, white women make bad choices too...and rich white women...just in this case this person was black, and I think the unwillingness to hold her at all responsible for her life is it's own form of prejudice).


THANK YOU! Yes -- some call it the soft prejudice of low expectations. That said, it is the position that Bill Cosby and Juan Williams, among others, have been BASHED for espousing. I agree -- If we expect more of people, and implement programs and opportunities to meet those (reasonable) expectations, we will all be better off.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 10:08     Subject: A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:Before judging the mom for being away from home, I'd like to know why she was away from home. If she was out partying, we should condemn that. If she was working the graveyard shift on poorly paid job and she couldn't afford childcare, that's another matter.

[i]So if I leave my kid home alone while I work, that's ok? Or only if I can't afford to pay someone else to watch my brood? There is no excuse for leaving four children eight and under at home alone -- that's why most states have laws against it.

The fact that the children had several different fathers is irrelevant as to why she was gone that night.


I agree with this statement -- what I don't agree with is that having more kids than you can afford (regardless of the number of fathers) is not per se evidence of bad parenting.

Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 10:07     Subject: Re:A sad story about terrible parenting.
I am a super liberal. This seems like a sad tragedy, and there may be understandable (though not excusable) reasons the mom wasn't home. Perhaps not, too.

One way or another though this mother had more children than she could care for well. And it is frustrating that people don't stop having children when they are struggling to care for the ones they have. Being poor doesn't mean everything in life is out of your hands. I wouldn't even argue a poor person shouldn't have children, but I do think the number of kids she had and the conditions they were all living in suggests a reluctance to take appropriate responsibility for herself/life.

When people insist that a person should be exempt from criticism for certain life choices they've made because they are poor and black, that in and of itself is racist and patronizing. Young, poor, black women can make good choices for themselves, but this person didn't. (and lots of young, poor, white women make bad choices too...and rich white women...just in this case this person was black, and I think the unwillingness to hold her at all responsible for her life is it's own form of prejudice).
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 10:01     Subject: A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:Before judging the mom for being away from home, I'd like to know why she was away from home. If she was out partying, we should condemn that. If she was working the graveyard shift on poorly paid job and she couldn't afford childcare, that's another matter.

The fact that the children had several different fathers is irrelevant as to why she was gone that night.


She was gone often. If she can find relatives to watch the oldest one night, why couldn't she find care for the others? Why have so many kids if you can't provide basic care? I'd bet that some of those neighbors would rather help out for babysitting on occasion vs the kids being home alone. IF the mom was working vs partying.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 09:54     Subject: A sad story about terrible parenting.
Before judging the mom for being away from home, I'd like to know why she was away from home. If she was out partying, we should condemn that. If she was working the graveyard shift on poorly paid job and she couldn't afford childcare, that's another matter.

The fact that the children had several different fathers is irrelevant as to why she was gone that night.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 09:52     Subject: A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:The four boys have three different last names, but two of them (the first and third) have the same last name as their mother...Seems likely that each of the boys had a different father.


This quote stands alone.

We are talking about a news story of a woman who left her children alone and they all died horribly in a fire. And your reaction is to speculate about the last names of the kids? Why don't you just also go ahead and add, well with a name like Shaqueta or whatever it was, obviously she's black, so THAT explains it too. Right????

I think it's sad that many of you respondents don't see what's wrong with the pps judgement. However many men she's fucked or however many babies she's had or baby daddies she's had, that does not in and of itself equal "bad parenting". Leaving your kids alone is the only "bad parenting" condemnation necessary in this case.

But have fun judging. I'm sure Jesus would be doing the same thing right now.

Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 09:50     Subject: Re:A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:But of course the father(s) get a free pass.


I don't think the dads should get a free pass, but if the mom has custody and left them alone, she is the one responsible here.

Also, it was obviously her choice to have several kids by several different fathers, unless any of the kids were a product of rape.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 09:46     Subject: Re:A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:But of course the father(s) get a free pass.


EXACTLY. Why have none of the fathers been arrested for not being home with their kid(s)?


Decent odds at least one is in prison.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 09:43     Subject: Re:A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:But of course the father(s) get a free pass.


EXACTLY. Why have none of the fathers been arrested for not being home with their kid(s)?
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 09:38     Subject: A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The four boys have three different last names, but two of them (the first and third) have the same last name as their mother...Seems likely that each of the boys had a different father.


So fucking what????


+1 come on!!!
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 09:38     Subject: A sad story about terrible parenting.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The four boys have three different last names, but two of them (the first and third) have the same last name as their mother...Seems likely that each of the boys had a different father.


So fucking what????

NP here.
Okay, let's just acknowledge that this is a formula for a dysfunctional family: single mom, multiple and absent dads. It is so fucking what when the rest of us have to support this stuff.
And I'm a democrat, BTW
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2012 09:37     Subject: A sad story about terrible parenting.
So sad. Neighbors called the police several times because the children were left home alone. Once the two year old was wandering in the street after midnight. The mom even had the kids taken away at least once; they were returned to her the night before the fire. Poor kids. RIP.