OP here- I agree with 13:58 and the recommendation is more along what I have been thinking to myself.

My father passed away a couple of years ago and I'm an only child. The idea is that she would or could live us eventually -- we are looking at large homes to accommodate our large family and also have space for her. In short, we get along.

Agree, that we need to meet with an estate or real estate attorney to plan this out. I wanted to get a rough of idea of any new tax or estate issues that have changed in the last two years, since sooo much has recently changed.

Keep the advice coming if there are any other ideas that haven't been exchanged yet.

Thanks!

You, your husband and your mom (and possibly siblings?) need to come to an understanding on what the goals are here and the best way to accomplish them. This might be a great opportunity to discuss retirement savings and plans with your Mom as well. Can she afford to depart with this money? Is her plan to live with you later? Do your siblings need or have gift money too? What does your husband really think and feel?

I agree with all the PPs about the risks, be careful and smart here, plus those can be flipped. If something goes upside down with your nuclear family, courts could demand her to pay up!

13:58 +1

Anonymous wrote:Listen to PPs, OP -- this is a recipe for disaster.

If your mother wants to "help" you buy a house, she can give you cash toward the down payment. Again, subject to gift taxes and knowing your mortgage lender will still need to see that you can afford the payments on your own. This is how we bought our house, and I suspect how many others do.

Being on the deed is a deal breaker. If she won't go for that, then you're on your own.

I don't think it's a dealbreaker -- plenty of people have their parents help them out to buy a home without actually giving them a gift for it, through a loan or shared equity. You just need to make sure everything is clarified and legally ok. You don't even really know what your mom is thinking -- maybe she has some idea that she can avoid estate taxes by being on the deed, or something like that. A visit to a real estate or estate planning lawyer can clear things up really quickly and give you ideas on how to accomplish what you want. But if you don't trust your mom or have a volatile relationship with her, then you want to tread more carefully no matter what the legal arrangement is.