Anonymous wrote:I'd contact some place like Equality Maryland and get some advice. Not sure where you are or whether DC or VA have something similar. But they deal with those types of issues all the time and might have some good, practical advice on how to approach this with the school.

http://www.equalitymaryland.org

+1

1. I would not punish my son for this, unless you have some strict family rule about using profanity. My opinion is that he used it appropriately.
2. Did you school use the word bully. This is not bullying.
3. I would meet with the administration and say that the other boy and your son should have the same punishment if he is being punished for the curse word because other than that there is no offense.
4. I would follow up with an email and document the situation and chill out unless it became a more than one time thing.

Are you in DC?

Can you talk to someone different at the school? Take it higher or to someone with more sense?

I would ask the school administrator to go with you to the movie Bully. I have not seen the movie but have heard excerpts and frankly what you describe sounds like it could have come from the movie. The administrators frankly don't know how to handle the issue. The long and short is that the school appears to be unwilling to follow its own policy.

Unfortunately, private schools can set their own rules.

If you are in DC, you can probably go the the EEO or civil rights office. MD too, maybe. Unfortunately, in Virginia, it is legal to be homophobic.

OP I feel your pain the worst way. Our DC called someone an asshole when DC was standing up for friends and DC. We got a call and had to pick DC up early from school. This happened at a private. It's been a nightmare ever since.

Keep standing up for your kid.

Anonymous wrote:get a lawyer and try and charge the other kid with a hate crime?

The fuck?

1) A random lawyer can't file criminal charges.
2) What crime was committed anyway? An insult isn't a crime last time I checked.

I'd contact some place like Equality Maryland and get some advice. Not sure where you are or whether DC or VA have something similar. But they deal with those types of issues all the time and might have some good, practical advice on how to approach this with the school.

http://www.equalitymaryland.org

Sounds like the principal is a douche.

Anonymous wrote:"Stated an opinion on a modern issue"?!?!

That's such an odd way to put it. I would be concerned about the leadership in this school.

+100

I almost got in trouble for pushing a little boy in fourth grade, until the Guidance Counsellor learned that he'd called me a name. He busted in front of me in line because he didn't want to drink after "a N$%^&#." She handled it. The meeting with my mom was cancelled before notice even went home.

I wonder how different things would have been if the Guidance Counsellor weren't also black and her beliefs on the use of the n-word were different.

OP, I think this free-speech business is cover. I'd be pissed in the extreme.

Sure, it's your son's job to figure out how to deal with these situations, but that doesn't mean you should blame him for the school's inaction or that other child's words.

Um, yeah. I'd be pissed in the extreme.

get a lawyer and try and charge the other kid with a hate crime?

PP here -- either there's MUCH more to this story, or this school is a terrible fit for your family. My kid goes to private school and you can bet your bottom dollar that I wouldn't pay another penny for a school that disrepected my family the way you represent the school disrespecting yours. Even the kid walked up to your son and said, "Gay marriage is wrong and they shouldn't be allowed to parent kids," which is an opinion, it is a HOSTILE and OFFENSIVE one in this context -- he was talking to the son of a gay couple!

Perhaps you should look for a school that offers a more welcoming atmosphere. I'm sure you don't want to alert the media as to your identity here, but I for one am very eager to know what school accepts this type of language directed at another student. Asshole is bad manners; calling someone else's family disgusting or wrong is EVIL.

Just wondering what you think a lawyer would achieve? What are your goals? To prevent the suspension?

You said it's a private school. Vote with your wallet. Withdraw your son and stop paying tuition.