Actually the bell of the curve is $200-500k. Or perhaps even skewed higher. With an income of $100k you'd be near a tail of the bell in some neighborhoods/schools.

Anonymous wrote:Just raise your kids right and things will be fine. Every school in every state has the typical bell curve of people and you and your family will find their true friends.
Likewise, every family has a conversation with their kids on "how we choose to spend our money." For us, the grandparents live far away, so vacations are spent visiting them, not a new destination every couple years. Big deal. For us, the kids don't play some uber-costly sport, they do other ones. Big deal.
BTW, guess what differentiator colleges now want to see?? Part time jobs dealing with customers! And life goes 'round and 'round.

So whatever you pick, just be happy, make the most of it and live your own life. Your kids will notice and also be able to think for themselves (one of the most important life skills).

This is true for most area but not In DC. There is no bell curve at some upper NW and Chevy Chase/Bethesda neighborhoods/schools. In fact there is no curve at all. Just upper middle class and wealthy. The middle class (HHI under $200) is almost totally absent.

Just raise your kids right and things will be fine. Every school in every state has the typical bell curve of people and you and your family will find their true friends.
Likewise, every family has a conversation with their kids on "how we choose to spend our money." For us, the grandparents live far away, so vacations are spent visiting them, not a new destination every couple years. Big deal. For us, the kids don't play some uber-costly sport, they do other ones. Big deal.
BTW, guess what differentiator colleges now want to see?? Part time jobs dealing with customers! And life goes 'round and 'round.

So whatever you pick, just be happy, make the most of it and live your own life. Your kids will notice and also be able to think for themselves (one of the most important life skills).

I grew up in a upper-middle class neighborhood. We fed into schools that had lower-income students. I generally liked the mix and feel of our schools. I was in honors courses and music, so didn't get caught up in some of the things that come along with lower income families (pregnant junior high students, bringing drugs and alcohol to school etc). At the same time, I got a great education and met a lot of interesting people most of whom were not wealthy. I had friends that moved from wealthier school districts and they couldn't wait to get out of them. (Butler's did kids homework, etc). I say go for option B.

to add make sure you check

http://www.greatschools.net

live in an area where you are of the same household income or more or else you will feel uncomfortable. Personally we live in the same schools that are fed by the richer people but live in the poorest area of that zoning so that we can have a larger house newer (probably mcmansion by DCUM standards).

Anonymous wrote:This is why I would purchase somewhere middle class. There have got to be some solidly middle class areas with good schools in MD. We found one in VA and are genuinely happy.

Do tell, where is the solid middle class in VA?!

I would buy in Kensington that feeds into Walter Johnson. Or in CCDC... I would not want my kids in school with the wealthiest Bethesda kids for a number of reasons, some listed above, and then HS and college admissions reasons later.

OP, we are looking at houses and are in some ways very similar to you in terms of income and concerns. A difference is that my kids are already older (teens) and are coming from private schools where they have always been aware that they are poorer than many of their peers. It was a significant sacrifice to keep them in private, but we did it for the better schools (we were in another state, not the DC area). We are now looking at public schools and I'm not that worried about buying into an affluent district like Whitman or Churchill. My kids know we will never be at the top of the heap financially, and they are okay with that. In my opinion, kids can adjust to this if you decide to buy into the more affluent areas. In fact, I think it's been a good life-lesson for them to see that we value education enough to prioritize this even if it means fewer fancy vacations and status items.

This is why I would purchase somewhere middle class. There have got to be some solidly middle class areas with good schools in MD. We found one in VA and are genuinely happy.

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an expensive part of Bethesda. My single mom made about a school teacher's salary. We had everything we needed, and lots of extras, but I felt so poor. It really sucked. Only when I went away to college in a working class town did I get any real perspective on the level of wealth and privilege I'd been surrounded by.

OP, not saying what will be best for your family, but my tactic has been to retreat to the relatively less affluent PG County, where my kids will be in the wealthier half of the group at school or in the neighborhood. This feels right to us. There is a lot more diversity. We can choose to go down to one income if we want. No worries about keeping up with the Joneses. Feels like more breathing room.

I am from Bethesda too and had a similar experience.
My advice, if you live like this, mix up the child's life outside of school. Camp, Church, and everything else needs to be done in a more realistic setting.

Anonymous wrote:You would be surprised by how many of those "wealthy" people are just getting by month to month. Don't let the fancy car and big house fool you.

We seem to be in the same boat as you and bought a hosue many years ago in "the wealthy area" We save a lot and live within our means, drive old cars, go camping instead of going to other countries for vacation, we go go skiiing locally instead of out west and it works. It tunrs out one of my "wealthy" friends is on the verge of lsoing it all because they can't afford the liefstyle they live and I am sure she is not alone.

I guess it tunrs out we are the wealthy ones but you would never know it.

I haven't found this to be the case at all. Most of my wealthy friends and neighbors are genuinely wealthy. (law partners, lobbyists and of course, family money). Plus, it really doesn't matter how much $$ people in these neighborhoods really have, it's the way they spend it and the lifestyle they live that make some of us feel like fish out of water. I come from a very middle class household and now live in a close in Bethesda. Regardless of whether my neighbors earn, borrow or steal their money they still live at a level that I didn't when growing up, can't afford for my children now and ultimately don't value. I often wish we had purchased in Silver Spring or somewhere farther out. I miss economic diversity.

Definitely go for the better school district.

You would be surprised by how many of those "wealthy" people are just getting by month to month. Don't let the fancy car and big house fool you.

We seem to be in the same boat as you and bought a hosue many years ago in "the wealthy area" We save a lot and live within our means, drive old cars, go camping instead of going to other countries for vacation, we go go skiiing locally instead of out west and it works. It tunrs out one of my "wealthy" friends is on the verge of lsoing it all because they can't afford the liefstyle they live and I am sure she is not alone.

I guess it tunrs out we are the wealthy ones but you would never know it.

OP. What about the parts of Kensington that feed in to Kensington Parkwood for ES, North Bethesda for MS and Walter Johnson for HS. I can tell you that Kensington feels more middle class then Bethesda but the schools are excellent. Our neighborhood is not particularly ethnically diverse but it feels solidly middle class.