OP here. I really appreciate all the advice. Since my next question may alarm some people, let me say that we are nowhere near taking the plunge at this point. I'm just at the beginning of a thought process that could, maybe, possibly, but equally possibly no, result in our getting a dog in a couple of years.

So, here's the question: Do *I* need to really want a dog (as opposed to just being mentally prepared to be 100% responsible for him or her)? Or could it still work even if I, personally, would not choose to have a dog? Can someone who is "not a dog person" make this all work?

I posted above (8:36) and would just add that you should find a good trainer. In particular, if you decide to go with a rescue dog -- and they can be great -- definitely have the trainer help you evaluate the dog before commiting to it.

Just don't do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My biggest advice, if this is your first time having a dog and you're a little apprehensive, is to adopt an adult dog from a rescue. An adult may have certain issues but I think if you have the opportunity to meet the rescue dogs you will find one that is wayyyyyy less work than any puppy. We adopted a rescue dog that was five years old at the time and he was awesome. Not all rescue dogs will fit your family/lifestyle, but in general I think an adult dog would just be much less to deal with than a puppy. Our doggy passed away last month and we're not ready to get another one yet, but when the time comes, I'm going the adult adoption route again. As cute as puppies are, I have zero interest in dealing with all that hassle.

I totally agree with this advice. Our last dog was an adult rescue. I was a bit apprehensive at first, since I'd only ever started with puppies. But the adult rescue totally changed my mind. Since you've got young kids, I'd aim for a dog that's about 2-4 years old. Good luck!

I agree as well. Our dog was about 3 when we adopted her - housetrained, well-behaved, not crazy-full-of-energy.

But OP, do not go into this thinking the kids will handle things. They won't.

PPs gave you great advice.

Anonymous wrote:My biggest advice, if this is your first time having a dog and you're a little apprehensive, is to adopt an adult dog from a rescue. An adult may have certain issues but I think if you have the opportunity to meet the rescue dogs you will find one that is wayyyyyy less work than any puppy. We adopted a rescue dog that was five years old at the time and he was awesome. Not all rescue dogs will fit your family/lifestyle, but in general I think an adult dog would just be much less to deal with than a puppy. Our doggy passed away last month and we're not ready to get another one yet, but when the time comes, I'm going the adult adoption route again. As cute as puppies are, I have zero interest in dealing with all that hassle.

I totally agree with this advice. Our last dog was an adult rescue. I was a bit apprehensive at first, since I'd only ever started with puppies. But the adult rescue totally changed my mind. Since you've got young kids, I'd aim for a dog that's about 2-4 years old. Good luck!

I'd wait until they are a bit older so that they can be more responsible (to help you). That's what I'm doing.

My biggest advice, if this is your first time having a dog and you're a little apprehensive, is to adopt an adult dog from a rescue. An adult may have certain issues but I think if you have the opportunity to meet the rescue dogs you will find one that is wayyyyyy less work than any puppy. We adopted a rescue dog that was five years old at the time and he was awesome. Not all rescue dogs will fit your family/lifestyle, but in general I think an adult dog would just be much less to deal with than a puppy. Our doggy passed away last month and we're not ready to get another one yet, but when the time comes, I'm going the adult adoption route again. As cute as puppies are, I have zero interest in dealing with all that hassle.

I love dogs - had one growing up, and DH and I got one as soon as we were married and owned a house. Said dog is now 13 and is having trouble with occasional incontinence, a sensitive stomach (barf), and a host of other minor health problems (arthritis, allergies, cushings disease, skin infections, ear infections...the list goes on) that mean vet visits cost no less than $400 a shot. My kids are similar in age to yours OP, and while they love the dog, they really don't help with him in a meaningful way. If he pukes or pees on the rug, guess who cleans it? When it's early in the am or late at night, guess who takes him out? When he needs his special vet-supplied dog food (that costs $70 a bag), guess who drives to the vet and buys it? Who remembers to buy and administer his monthly flea & tick meds and his heartworm pills (also not cheap)? Hint: not the kids.

Dog has never done well at a kennel so when we go away we have to pay someone to come walk him (if it's a weekend), or stay at our house if we're gone for more than a few days. That is expensive and there have been times when we couldn't find someone and had to drive him to my MILs house to stay. He is part of our family and I love him dearly, but he consumes a good deal of time, money and attention, especially as he has gotten older. I also have grown very weary of the dog hair issue. He is not a breed known for excessive shedding yet I feel like I am in a constant battle with dog hair - again, this has become more of an issue as he has gotten older (or maybe I'm just more aware of it). I guess I would just be sure you are ready for a long term commitment - like with children, you never know what hand you will be dealt wrt the dog's health and temperament. Our dog has been relatively healthy until recently, but over the years has broken a leg, eaten poisonous stuff, destroyed furniture, chewed up an expensive handbag, dumped the trash out all over the floor, etc. etc.

In my mind, this is all worth it when he looks at me with those big brown eyes, greets me at the door with tail wagging, and brings a smile to my kids' faces, but you should be realistic and know that it is a huge commitment and isn't all fun and games. Not trying to be a buzz kill, just want you to see the full picture.

Anonymous wrote:* Put training the dog before "training" your kids to take care of it. Every single second of investment you make in training the dog will pay off. You really want a well-behaved dog, precisely because you really don't want a dog at all.

* Not sure of the size dog you want, but your kids aren't really big enough to train or even walk an exuberant and reasonably large puppy. Don't expect more than they can do and expect some disappointment (by the kids) when the dog turns out to be more complicated than simply a toy.

* Remember that your kids have NO EXPERIENCE PARENTING AND YOU DIDN'T BECOME AN EXPERT OVERNIGHT. (In other words, your kids won't be effective at training or even caring for this dog until all three are older and calmer).

I really didn't want a dog. I gave in after 12 years.

Sounds like excellent advice, thanks. (We would not get a puppy--five sleepless years is enough for one lifetime.)

Are you glad you gave in, or do you regret it? Were the hardest things about having a dog the things you expected to be difficult, or were there a lot of surprises?

DH and I always had dogs as pets when we were growing up and had 2 dogs before we had kids. Obviously we love dogs, so I'm not going to say "don't do it." But I am going to say don't delude yourself into thinking this dog will be your children's responsibility. Our kids are teens and college students, but, ultimately, DH and I are still responsible for the dogs -- it's not just walking and feeding them, but arranging for their care or boarding when you travel, taking them to the vet, dealing with them when they get old (it's almost as bad as having a puppy), etc. If you are willing to take on this responsibility, then by all means go ahead, though I would certainly advise getting a small dog to start with. But don't do it for the kids -- I've seen this lead to misery for all -- parents, kids and dog.

I won't say "don't do it," but I will echo a PP: try and get a dog that is housebroken. Puppies are really cute but also a big PITA. We got a rescue dog who was two and have had her for seven years. DH and I really bonded with dog and kids are now as well. You don't need to go route of puppy in order to love a dog. Your kids will probably be able to take over care of a housebroken dog more quickly than a puppy.