Anonymous
03/11/2012 00:10
Subject: Re:Do I have to pay child support?
Sounds like everything in your life is about you
+1
Anonymous
03/11/2012 00:08
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.
Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.
OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.
The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.
Bully for you and your mother. She should have an abortion and learn from this HUGE mistake and not do the same thing twice. If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion. Having a kid at 18, is a recipe for disaster and I've invested too much love, time, money for her to make a decision that will ruin her life.
And deny her the chance to love and nurture her own child? Don't you think forcing fer to kill her unborn baby will destroy both her and your relationship with her?
She's 16 years old. No, I don't think forcing her to ABORT a zygote will destroy her relationship with me. I suppose if your daughter a victim of incest or rape and impregated, you would be in favor of her having said child.
I certainly would not be in favor of forcing my child to have an abortion if she was the victim of sexual abuse. I love my daughter too much to victimize her in that way. And besides, I think you know damn well that I was not referring to those type of circumstances.
It sounds like you think there is something magic about the age of 18 that means that then and only then can you feel love for an unborn child. How long did it take you to fall in love with your daughter after you found out you were pregnant?
Sounds like everything in your life is about you- including a life/lives that are not yours. Her life. Her body. Her choice. Or are you only pro-choice for everyone else-just not your daughter?
Anonymous
03/11/2012 00:04
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:
And deny her the chance to love and nurture her own child? Don't you think forcing fer to kill her unborn baby will destroy both her and your relationship with her?
She's 16 years old. No, I don't think forcing her to ABORT a zygote will destroy her relationship with me. I suppose if your daughter a victim of incest or rape and impregated, you would be in favor of her having said child.
I'm not the poster you're responding to, but if my 16 year old (imaginary since I have a boy) daughter became pregnant, whether via incest or rape or consensual sex, unless there was a serious threat to her life, then it would be her choice. Would I hope that she'd choose abortion? Yes, I would, absolutely, but it would be her choice and I would stand by her no matter what. I'm a strong believer in a woman's right to make choices for her own body. Forcing someone to get an abortion is just as abhorrent to me as denying someone one.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 23:54
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.
Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.
OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.
The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.
Bully for you and your mother. She should have an abortion and learn from this HUGE mistake and not do the same thing twice. If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion. Having a kid at 18, is a recipe for disaster and I've invested too much love, time, money for her to make a decision that will ruin her life.
And deny her the chance to love and nurture her own child? Don't you think forcing fer to kill her unborn baby will destroy both her and your relationship with her?
She's 16 years old. No, I don't think forcing her to ABORT a zygote will destroy her relationship with me. I suppose if your daughter a victim of incest or rape and impregated, you would be in favor of her having said child.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 23:50
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.
No, but as much responsibility. If my child's child is living with their mother and her parents, then it's my responsibility to make sure that my son meets his financial responsibility to provide half the child's support, and if he can't then it's my responsibility to do so on his behalf.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 23:50
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.
Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.
OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.
The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.
Bully for you and your mother. She should have an abortion and learn from this HUGE mistake and not do the same thing twice. If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion. Having a kid at 18, is a recipe for disaster and I've invested too much love, time, money for her to make a decision that will ruin her life.
And if your daughter did not want an abortion?
She's under 18, my house, my rules. However, I have discussed these things openly with son and daughter, They know how to use condoms and if my daughter should decide she wants to become sexually active, then she knows to come to me and we go to doctor for birth control pills. I've raised my three children and I'm not planning on raising theirs.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 23:13
Subject: Re:Do I have to pay child support?
If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion
You do know that legally you cannot force a child to have an abortion, don't you? In any event, you sound like one hell of a piece of work. Kids make mistakes and when they do it isn about you, or the "love," time and money that you have invested--which by the way is what parents do. Your response seriously makes me doubt the love part.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 23:13
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.
Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.
OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.
The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.
Bully for you and your mother. She should have an abortion and learn from this HUGE mistake and not do the same thing twice. If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion. Having a kid at 18, is a recipe for disaster and I've invested too much love, time, money for her to make a decision that will ruin her life.
And deny her the chance to love and nurture her own child? Don't you think forcing fer to kill her unborn baby will destroy both her and your relationship with her?
Anonymous
03/10/2012 23:08
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.
Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.
OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.
The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.
Bully for you and your mother. She should have an abortion and learn from this HUGE mistake and not do the same thing twice. If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion. Having a kid at 18, is a recipe for disaster and I've invested too much love, time, money for her to make a decision that will ruin her life.
And if your daughter did not want an abortion?
Anonymous
03/10/2012 22:59
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.
Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.
OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.
The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.
Bully for you and your mother. She should have an abortion and learn from this HUGE mistake and not do the same thing twice. If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion. Having a kid at 18, is a recipe for disaster and I've invested too much love, time, money for her to make a decision that will ruin her life.
NP wow are you a SAHM? If you feel like you've invested everything into your child and must force her into getting an abortion then you have NO LIFE. Seriously.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 22:49
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't know the legal answer, but I know the moral answer and I suspect you do, too.
The moral answer? Are you saying the poster is morally liable to pay support to a girl who, along with her son, chose to have unprotected sex? The father of the child is liable for child support and a court will determine what amount he can pay. The other parent, the girl, is also liable for supporting her child. Neither of their parents forced them to have unprotected sex, so neither set of parents are liable for ANYTHING in regards to these two.
How do you know their sex was "unprotected." Regardless, you'd have your grandchild grow up destitute rather than help. Or what? To prove a point? That child didn't ask for any of this. Convenient morality, indeed.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 20:13
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.
Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.
OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.
The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.
Bully for you and your mother. She should have an abortion and learn from this HUGE mistake and not do the same thing twice. If my daughter got pregnant, I would be livid, and I would take her to get an abortion. Having a kid at 18, is a recipe for disaster and I've invested too much love, time, money for her to make a decision that will ruin her life.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 20:09
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If he is man enough to have sex and a child, he should be man enough to get a job and pay support and provide for his child.
Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
You should have been talking to him a loooooooooooong time ago about both the moral and legal aspects of unprotected sex and her parents should have done the same.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 18:13
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.
Oh, please, I think you know what she meant, even if the phrasing wasn't perfect-- she clearly meant 100% of that responsibility.
OP, your question just made me sad. I know few of us want to see our minor child have a child of their own before they have a secure job, family, and life, but I've always been open-mouthed shocked at the grandparents-to-be who can't muster up an ounce of happiness at the prospect of a new life, their grandchild. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who urged my mom to get an abortion when she was unmarried and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is how you parent in these moments that will determine how your children (and grandchildren) remember you, even if it's something you didn't choose and therefore don't feel like you should be judged by.
The legal answer to your question is "yes," until he turns 18.
Anonymous
03/10/2012 17:08
Subject: Do I have to pay child support?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, but as a parent, I'm liable (morally, don't know about legally) for any obligations my child fails to meet. If my kid doesn't return a library book or breaks a window with a baseball, then it's my responsibility to make sure the debt is paid and then take steps to make sure my kid takes responsibility for it.
If my son has a baby then that baby needs to be taken care of. Yes, my son needs to get a job, and meet his obligation, but if for some reason, such as unemployment, that isn't happening then it's my responsibility to make sure that the baby still has a safe place to sleep, and food and diapers. I can't let that responsibility fall to someone else, such as the child's mother, or her parents, or the state. Now, my son may be on the hook to pay me back, but that's between me and him. His obligation to the child must still be met.
Did you just say that your son's child would be more your responsibility than the responsibility of its own mother? Or other grandparents? Glad you are not my MIL.