Anonymous
Post 02/29/2012 13:52     Subject: Re:Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
Anonymous wrote:Nothing is off limits in our circle..especially after a few bottles of wine. We don't discuss salaries but everything from nut sacks to brazilian waxes to politics to religion are fair game. We are a very open-minded bunch with lots of harmless teasing as well.

Acquaintences are different. None of the above would be discussed...unless, again, you pour a couple of bottles of wine down our throats and then anything goes again!


Same here. Nothing is sacred, except secrecy
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2012 13:43     Subject: Re:Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
^ they now see you as a trashy slut?
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2012 13:31     Subject: Re:Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
PP, you're lucky you have someone to talk to. I confided in two friends about my lover, and I don't think either has ever regarded me the same way. I'm so sorry I told them.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2012 12:31     Subject: Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
My lover. I don't talk about him with anybody but my sister.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2012 11:37     Subject: Re:Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
Nothing is off limits in our circle..especially after a few bottles of wine. We don't discuss salaries but everything from nut sacks to brazilian waxes to politics to religion are fair game. We are a very open-minded bunch with lots of harmless teasing as well.

Acquaintences are different. None of the above would be discussed...unless, again, you pour a couple of bottles of wine down our throats and then anything goes again!
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2012 11:35     Subject: Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
Anonymous wrote:Abortion. Never ever ever.


I agree. Most of my friends are one leaning and I'm the other. We probably know where we all stand on this issue so no point in bringing it up only to get angry. Abortion is one issue that has taken my husband and me a very long time to be able to discuss, and even now, we don't really talk about it.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2012 11:31     Subject: Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
I rarely talk about salary, but with close friends it occasionally comes up. Otherwise, I'll pretty much talk about anything else. That said, with certain friends I've learned to avoid hot-button issues like politics. it's just easier that way. Don't talk about sex much beyond something like, "haven't dated anyone in awhile" or "yes, my last boyfriend was very good in bed." vague stuff.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2012 09:55     Subject: Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:-Salary-no good comes of talking about this.


Wrong. Employees, especially women, do themselves NO favors by keeping salary details secret. It allows management to underpay certain employees. There's a whole field of psychology about this, and how women are at a disadvantage in salary negotiations, because they are brought up to be polite-- meaning they'll accept what is offered and not angle for more, and they will keep the number a deep dark secret because "it's not nice to talk about money", and that fosters further inequality.

Now, most of the time, our close friends aren't doing the same job for the same company, so it doesn't really matter. But the one time I became friends with a colleague at the same level, we talked salary and found that one of us was getting screwed. The situation was rectified, but if we had never gotten past the social money-talk barrier, we wouldn't have known how unfairly one of us was being treated.

Lecture over. I agree with PP: don't talk about other people's problems, specifically repeating what another person told you about their lives. You can only come across as gossipy and sneaky.


The opposite happened to me. Befriended same level colleague, I had more experience and education, I found out that I was making 10,000 less, raised the question and my salary was not raised. I ended up leaving over another issue but this was one additional factor.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2012 01:11     Subject: Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
politics. this topic can be even worse with family.

play it safe and talk about sex or the weather.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2012 22:07     Subject: Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
Anonymous wrote:-Salary-no good comes of talking about this.


Wrong. Employees, especially women, do themselves NO favors by keeping salary details secret. It allows management to underpay certain employees. There's a whole field of psychology about this, and how women are at a disadvantage in salary negotiations, because they are brought up to be polite-- meaning they'll accept what is offered and not angle for more, and they will keep the number a deep dark secret because "it's not nice to talk about money", and that fosters further inequality.

Now, most of the time, our close friends aren't doing the same job for the same company, so it doesn't really matter. But the one time I became friends with a colleague at the same level, we talked salary and found that one of us was getting screwed. The situation was rectified, but if we had never gotten past the social money-talk barrier, we wouldn't have known how unfairly one of us was being treated.

Lecture over. I agree with PP: don't talk about other people's problems, specifically repeating what another person told you about their lives. You can only come across as gossipy and sneaky.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2012 21:56     Subject: Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
Other peoples' problems.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2012 21:39     Subject: Re:Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:we are swingers and don't talk about it


I know some of my friends are swingers and they haven't told me. More awkward than not knowing!


How'd ya find out?


A single mutual friend who might be a third told me. To each their own.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2012 21:22     Subject: Re:Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:we are swingers and don't talk about it


I know some of my friends are swingers and they haven't told me. More awkward than not knowing!


How'd ya find out?
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2012 21:21     Subject: Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
It all depends on the friends. Some are uptight and consider certain topics gauche. Others are more laid back and open. I won't list the obvious topics to avoid with newcomers. We all know those.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2012 21:15     Subject: Re:Topics that you shouldn't talk to friends about?
money
politics if they differ
child-rearing topics like sleep training