Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just wanted to share my thoughts about the concept of daycare in general. I am wondering if anyone agrees with how I feel. It saddens me that so many of us put our kids in daycare. Daycare was my plan when I got pregnant with my first, but after a few weeks of it, I realized that I wanted to be the one raising DC and I quit my job. I am lucky that we were able to afford to get by on just DH's income. I understand that, in this country (especially in the DC area, and other metropolitan areas like it), both parents often have to work in order to be able to support their children. I'm not trying to insult any families that are doing that. My comments are more about the way we're living collectively in this country, where parents find it necessary to outsource the important task of raising their children to person or persons they barely know. Is daycare a common thing in other countries, I wonder (e.g., the Scandinavian countries, where standards of living and quality of life are reported to be so high?) It just seems so unnatural to me...the idea of having people we don't know that well spend more waking hours with our little ones than we do. Sometimes I wonder if it has something to do with the general degeneration of our society (in my opinion). Thanks for listening.

You make me sad....and MAD!!!
how dare you say in one post that you are not trying to insult families that put their kid in daycare and in the same paragraph make comments like:
"It saddens me that so many of us put our kids in daycare"
"I wanted to be the one raising DC"
"parents find it necessary to outsource the important task of raising their children to people they barely know"

Are you so ignorant that you don't see how insulting that is to those of us that put our kid in daycare?
To say to me (yes, ME, who has her kid in daycare) that I'm outsourcing raising my kid is not only insulting it's ignorant and narrow-minded. Not to mention hurtful.

how about I'm broadening my kid's life? I'm finding the best people to surround my kid with? how about, my strengths are not sitting around singing "wheels on the bus," and making crafts but instead are finding the best and the brightest to raise my child the best I know how?

People like you are the reasons SAHMs have such a bad reputation. You're sitting in your house, alone, with an infant, not recognizing that you might not be choosing what's best for your kid, but rather what's best for you. Why not come back to us when your kid is 4, scared to be around anyone else but you, can't read, and doesn't know how to use scissors because he or she has never made a craft before. Then we can say how isolating your child from the world saddens US!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in daycare but I'm still raising him. ?

You are part of raising him but someone still has to also be raising him while you are at work. His growth and development and learning and need for all the things you give him don't stop while you are at work. Someone else is responding to him, teaching him, shaping who he will be.

But what is so wrong with someone else helping to raise your kid? Unless they are teaching him to be a serial killer, why won't you let someone you supposedly trust and are paying for that trust to help raise your child? I think it's rather narcissitic, short sighted and incredibly self absorbed to think you are the only one who can teach your child anything of value in life and you must be the ONLY person to respond to him or shape him.

Anonymous wrote:I just wanted to share my thoughts about the concept of daycare in general. I am wondering if anyone agrees with how I feel. It saddens me that so many of us put our kids in daycare. Daycare was my plan when I got pregnant with my first, but after a few weeks of it, I realized that I wanted to be the one raising DC and I quit my job. I am lucky that we were able to afford to get by on just DH's income. I understand that, in this country (especially in the DC area, and other metropolitan areas like it), both parents often have to work in order to be able to support their children. I'm not trying to insult any families that are doing that. My comments are more about the way we're living collectively in this country, where parents find it necessary to outsource the important task of raising their children to person or persons they barely know. Is daycare a common thing in other countries, I wonder (e.g., the Scandinavian countries, where standards of living and quality of life are reported to be so high?) It just seems so unnatural to me...the idea of having people we don't know that well spend more waking hours with our little ones than we do. Sometimes I wonder if it has something to do with the general degeneration of our society (in my opinion). Thanks for listening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In answer to your question ... yes, in other countries (such as France & Scandinavia) they have daycare. It is paid for by the state. The difference is that those countries generally provide generous PAID maternity leave, in addition to the general high-quality safety net for things like health care and unemployment benefits. So if you're a mother there, it's much more practical to take a year off of work, because the government supports that choice. This does not have to do with the "general denegration of our society" -- it has to do with very specific social welfare policies we've chosen in this country -- ie, to have basically no safety net or support for families at all.

This. If the US would actually put its money where its mouth is regarding "family values," maybe things would be different. But since we are one of the few countries in the world (besides Swaziland and Lesotho) that don't offer paid parental leave of any kind, many parents have no choice but to put their kids in daycare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in daycare but I'm still raising him. ?

You are part of raising him but someone still has to also be raising him while you are at work. His growth and development and learning and need for all the things you give him don't stop while you are at work. Someone else is responding to him, teaching him, shaping who he will be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in daycare but I'm still raising him. ?

You are part of raising him but someone still has to also be raising him while you are at work. His growth and development and learning and need for all the things you give him don't stop while you are at work. Someone else is responding to him, teaching him, shaping who he will be.

Anonymous wrote:I just wanted to share my thoughts about the concept of daycare in general. I am wondering if anyone agrees with how I feel. It saddens me that so many of us put our kids in daycare. Daycare was my plan when I got pregnant with my first, but after a few weeks of it, I realized that I wanted to be the one raising DC and I quit my job. I am lucky that we were able to afford to get by on just DH's income. I understand that, in this country (especially in the DC area, and other metropolitan areas like it), both parents often have to work in order to be able to support their children. I'm not trying to insult any families that are doing that. My comments are more about the way we're living collectively in this country, where parents find it necessary to outsource the important task of raising their children to person or persons they barely know. Is daycare a common thing in other countries, I wonder (e.g., the Scandinavian countries, where standards of living and quality of life are reported to be so high?) It just seems so unnatural to me...the idea of having people we don't know that well spend more waking hours with our little ones than we do. Sometimes I wonder if it has something to do with the general degeneration of our society (in my opinion). Thanks for listening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you be home schooling, OP?

The first years of life are when the vast majority of all brain development and all learning takes place. The early years set the foundation for he rest of the child's life. Once they are school age, it adds to it but really it is those first few years of life that matter the most in who your child will be.

Anonymous wrote:In answer to your question ... yes, in other countries (such as France & Scandinavia) they have daycare. It is paid for by the state. The difference is that those countries generally provide generous PAID maternity leave, in addition to the general high-quality safety net for things like health care and unemployment benefits. So if you're a mother there, it's much more practical to take a year off of work, because the government supports that choice. This does not have to do with the "general denegration of our society" -- it has to do with very specific social welfare policies we've chosen in this country -- ie, to have basically no safety net or support for families at all.

Anonymous wrote:Okay- I'll feed the troll.

My kids have learned things in daycare that I never could have taught them as a SAHM. My control cases are my neices and nephews; other SAHM.

My kids accept diversity without question. Their caregivers and classmates are from all over the world and my kids have never asked me why so and so's skin is darker than their's. They don't care because they have grown up with people who don't look like them. They have been hugged and loved and cared for by people who are different. They do not fear difference in the world- they approach others with openness and curiosity, not fear.

My kids have learned independence. They have learned to navigate the world without Mommy and Daddy at their side. They have learned that other people can love you and take care of you, other than their parents.

My kids have learned to interact with their peers. They have learned to negociate disagreements. They don't just run to Mom or Dad to protest or negociate for them. My kids have learned how to handle disputes with their words.

Unless you are an arts and crafts whiz and a former teachers, they have been exposed to a richness of diverse opportunities to learn; express themselves through art and music. They were ready for school much before the kids of SAHMs. They understand routine and classroom management. They went to kindergarden writing, reading and doing math because they had learned so much. They accepted structure.