Anonymous wrote:OP here -- my DH is military so his schedule = long, inflexible hours. Hence, I won't be able to stagger. I thought about putting her in a center closer to work but I work in the District and we all know that rigamarole. Plus, there is a wonderful preschool / center where we live. But, yes, it will mean dropping off at 7 and picking up at 5 due to my commute. I'm a little worried, especially about keeping her nap. Any other words from those who have BTDT or are currently doing it? It does sound like staggering is the way to go but I don't think that will work for us.

Staggering doesn't work for us either, so my kids were always in daycare from like 7:30 or 8 until between 5 and 6. There weren't any other options for us and it sounds the me for you. So you just make it work.

As far as naps, I think you are worrying way too much. I have never known a parent whose kid was in the 2s or 3s room, or even the 4s have a nap issue. Not saying it never happens, but it's rare. At that age, all the kids sleep at the same time so the room is dark and quiet. It's just part of their daily routine. In fact, my youngest hasn't napped at home in over a year, but has a two hour nap everyday in school and she's 4.

OP if you came here for people to tell you it's okay for your child to be daycare for 10 hours a day- then yes, it's fine. If you genuinely can't do any of the other PP's suggestions (stagger schedules, 1/2 schedules, etc) then seriously, 10hrs a day is fine.
Moving on.

My DD spends 9 hours at daycare and yet at the end of they day I often find myself hanging out in there from an extra 10-30 minutes b/c she's just not ready to leave. I personally think it's better for a child to be in daycare/preschool with a consistent and dependable schedule each day then to do half a day here, then home with nanny or babysitter or college student. I've found that for my DD at least knowing her routine and sticking to it is good. I'd MUCH prefer she be in daycare for 9-10 hours a day engaged in activities and surrounded by her friends then she spend 3 hours at home with a college student who is probalby not really doing fun things with her. It's great for the parents here who can keep their kids in daycare for less hours a day, but just b/c that works for you doesn't mean that a longer day is not just as good. And I think there are PLENTY of parents who both work 8 hour days (or more) that have their kids in daycare for that long and are fine.

Many of the children at my son's child care center are there for ten hours. We live in a suburb and many parents have a commute in or out of the city. While I'd prefer that my son only spent 8 hours at day care, and I'd absolutely love more time with him, that's just not possible for us given our current jobs. And fortunately, a long day at the center hasnt had any negative effect on him. We've all fallen into a schedule that we're used to and I think that's really important for my son. Additionally, at a center, the staff is staggered througout the day so the person who is there at 7:15 when we drop off our son leaves earlier in the day. Thus, the staff isn't haggard or worn out at the end of the day b/c the people who are there at pick-up haven't been there since the center opened. On a regular basis, my son doesn't want to leave b/c he is involved in what he's doing.

You could also consider a college student to help do an early pick up a few days a week to take off the pressure of doing it every day. It also wouldn't break the bank like a nanny would.

We have one car, so we cannot stagger the drop off/ pick up times. My 3yo DD spends 9-10 hours a day now. If I get this new job, I should be able to telework up to 3 days a week. So, that would help. (ihigtj).

Anonymous wrote:Working from home with children on a regular basis isn't really fair to the child, unless you have a nanny or babysitter there to play with them, take them on walks, etc. That said, have you thought of just breaking up the day for her- ie. part time preschool in the morning, then aftercare in the afternoon either with a part time babysitter or daycare?

Yes, but that is actually quite expensive. Preschools for 2-3 year olds are usually only 2 or 3 days a week for a couple of hours each day. We'd be better off just keeping the nanny.

Working from home with children on a regular basis isn't really fair to the child, unless you have a nanny or babysitter there to play with them, take them on walks, etc. That said, have you thought of just breaking up the day for her- ie. part time preschool in the morning, then aftercare in the afternoon either with a part time babysitter or daycare?

We stagger so my son is there from 9:00-5:00 (sometimes 4:45 if traffic is good). So 8 hours. It seems like way to long and I wish we could get him at 4:00, but there's just no way. We're doing the best we can.

Any way you could telework some days?

We do 8:30 - 5:45 (stagger). Having said that, there are plenty of kids who are there when we drop off, and the same kids are there when we pick up. Our daycare fee is for 10 hours. I know there are parents that use all of the hours - I hope one will speak up here. #2 is on the way, I see us having them both in much longer, since we cannot afford to have them both where our older DD is now, and we are trying to get the older DD into public pre-k. So we will have the whole double drop off/pick up issue unless we can work some miracle and get them both into the same place in downtown DC.

7am - 4pm is the sweet spot. We tried 8/9am-6pm and it just didn't work for him. He came home too tired and cranky.

It really depends on the child.

My daughter is 2 and has always been in daycare from about 7:30/8 until 5 as my husband and I aren't able to stagger and I do both drop off and pick up. I don't think she has been negatively affected at all-she LOVES her school and is very happy, as are all of her friends who are there similar hours. She eats GREAT (will eat anything and everything), listens well, sleeps well, loves to do art, dance, sing songs, etc. I don't think having your child in daycare for an extra hour is going to negatively affect him/her. My daughter very much looks fowrard to me picking her up and knows when it's time to go, but I think that woudl be true if I routinely picked her up an hour earlier or later than I do. Good luck and remember that she will be great.

Another provider here. All of us get tired after 8 hours being out of home. Same for our children, they do get tired because they constantly busy with the activities. All children after 5.30 pm are tired. Melt downs they have because they don't know how to explain to the parents that: "I am tired".
They need to eat dinner at 6 pm and slow down for bed time at about 8 pm. This way children are fresh and relax next day. Sleeping/relaxing time are important to all of us, but specially for our children.

OP here -- my DH is military so his schedule = long, inflexible hours. Hence, I won't be able to stagger. I thought about putting her in a center closer to work but I work in the District and we all know that rigamarole. Plus, there is a wonderful preschool / center where we live. But, yes, it will mean dropping off at 7 and picking up at 5 due to my commute. I'm a little worried, especially about keeping her nap. Any other words from those who have BTDT or are currently doing it? It does sound like staggering is the way to go but I don't think that will work for us.