So all of you who refuse to let your teenagers have their boyfriend/girlfriend sleep over are mandating no sex before marriage? Or at least, no sex until they're out of your house?

My parents didn't let any of us do that u til we were engaged. No f'in way in HS. That is sick to me.

Teenagers don't have lovers. Please stop using this word.

Anonymous wrote:Probably not before college, but I could see giving them one room if they were home from college together.

There was an article recently about some European country where they are much more flexible and they find it actually helps families to have adult conversations about things like birth control.

That was a piece by Amy Schalet, a sociologist who studies adolescent sexuality. The country is the Netherlands and it's absolutely fascinating research comparing two countries with similar rates of sexual experimentation but much lower STD rates and much lower teen pregnancy. Sex in the Netherlands attends to occur in relationships, not in random hook ups as often seen in the States.

The title of her book is, "Not Under My Roof."

I don't know.

My mother didn't let my boyfriend sleep over. My boyfriend's mother did. My boyfriend's mother is actually a much better parent than my mom is.

I didn't get knocked up and I ended up marrying my then-boyfriend. I suppose if our kids were in a serious relationship, I might let the significant other spend the night.

No way!!!

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop thinking about this article, because it makes me feel like a hypocrite. I fooled around behind my parents' backs, starting when I was 18, but I don't want to say it's okay for my teen to have a sexual relationship.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2091807/Would-YOU-let-teenage-daughter-sleep-boyfriend-home.html

I've stopped my kid from running in the street, told him not to bite, made him do his homework when he didn't want to, and enforced a curfew. At yet at one point I ran in the street, bit my brother, skipped out on homework, and came home late, and thought my parents were dreadfully unfair when they stopped me.

Do those things make me a hypocrite? If not, then why is this different?

So if you don't let them sleep at your house, is your expectation that they are not having sex?

Neighbor of ours lets his son's girlfriend sleep over. Son is 16 and girlfriend is 18. The neighbor brings them breakfast in bed.

I find it extraordinarily bizarre.

I know teenagers have sex, and will no matter what. But this raises that furtive, youthful behavior to the level of "Hey we're all adults here."

But... we're not. He's your kid. Yes, talk about sex and prepare them, but don't act like it's no big deal.

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop thinking about this article, because it makes me feel like a hypocrite. I fooled around behind my parents' backs, starting when I was 18, but I don't want to say it's okay for my teen to have a sexual relationship.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2091807/Would-YOU-let-teenage-daughter-sleep-boyfriend-home.html

Get a backbone. Say hell no!

Just because you veered away, does not mean you cannot learn from it and encourage your children to make better choices.

Anonymous wrote:Totally irrelevant to me since my kids are never going to have sex.

Totally irrelevant to me since my kids are never going to have sex.

I have. It actually worked out well...she and I have a very good relationship. I'd rather have open discussions: by the time they're 14 or so they are going to do what they decide to do anyway, why close off communication?

Ha, ha, ha, ha, no.

Probably. My mom let me and she took me to the doctor for birth control and I did not get pregnant. Also ended up marrying the guy and I'm still married to him.