OP, I just reread your post. You have a 3 yo, a 3 mo, and your husband is away for days at a time.

Is it possible that you enjoy having DH's cousin around as an extra adult, an extra pair of hands to help with the kids? Even if it isn't anything formal -- was there an expectation that the young woman woudl live with you rent free because she was family, and would help out as a member of the family would?

I ask because you don't seem upset about having the BF move in as well, just want him to help with babysitting etc.

If you feel you are getting something from the arrangment, then my advice is different. I was assuming that you were happy to help this young woman out for a bit, but would eventually want her to move on (i.e. in a few months). but with the young kids and husband out of town a lot, maybe your priorities are different from what mine in the same situation would be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, thanks all! Gonna grow the cahonas (sp?) and chat with cousin tomorrow...assuming BF isn't hanging around. For the record, he's a wonderful, sweet guy -- not a creep at all.

Wonderful, sweet guys do not just move into someone's house.

Of course they do! What does this even mean? It is very, very common for young people to do this sort of thing when they move to DC right after college graduation. It isn't an automatic red flag.

I don't know anything about this guy in particular but you seem to be making quite a leap here.

Boundaries, love. Clearly (and rightly) you feel they've been violated. Deal with it. Now.

If they have money for furniture for "their" room, they should be saving it for a deposit on their new apartment.

Your husband's cousin has invited another person to move into your home without even asking you. What kind of person does that?