Personally, if your mother is offering child care, I think she needs to follow your rules. Eating treats with Grandma is fine a couple of times a month, not a couple of times a week. Grandma doesn't need to "make" your child eat something, but perhaps there could be some kind of special fruit or vegetable dish from Grandma? The fact that she's trying is a good start--and she wants to be special and make her grandkid happy. There's got to be something that fits the bill as a treat from Grandma that's also healthy.

I'm going to dissent from the crowd, OP, and say I feel your pain. My MIL used to have my daughter once a week, but it had to end partly because of the food. DD would come home once a week too late, off her schedule, and inevitably throw up all over the place right before she'd finally go to bed any day she'd been at MIL's. Granted, the food was only one aspect of not respecting any of our parenting wishes, but the food was enough of a problem that we had a kid throwing up once a week and a grandmother who was unwilling to cut it out so we cut it out for her. Harsh, yes, but if it gets to be that bad, you'll have to set better boundaries and limit their time if she doesn't listen. If your kid is happy and healthy otherwise, though, probably not such a big deal. If my DD wasn't throwing up after all this, I probably wouldn't have been so angry about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:apples sauce, toast and oatmeal is a bad breakfast? (assuming whole wheat, no sugar apple sauce, and not instant oatmeal etc)

I am the PP who listed those items. I didn't say it was a bad meal, and mentioned that my mom's and my food concepts are not all that different. But even small differences can feel like an issue.

But also, I do think that meal is too heavy on carby and slightly sweet tastes and lacking in protein, fats, and fresh fruit/veggies. Its the *perfect* kids meal, all bland carbs. So while I think its just an OK meal, my mom is like jeez, its whole wheat bread for cryin' out loud!

Also kids need carbs. Don't put your daughter on a diet now she has the rest of her life to do that especially if you try to control what she eats too much. It's not a healthy relationship with food.

As long as you make your veggie meals taste delicious 5 days a week, those 2 days aren't going to matter.

I grew up with my grandpa taking care of me. We would eat cereal with cream and brown sugar for breakfast, ginger ale and chicken nuggets for lunch. I would sacrifice five years at the end of my life for that time I got to spend with him. Oh, and I love veggies. I'm a vegetarian and was a vegan for 10 years. I'm a total health nut (although I hate disgusting overcooked bland veggies prepared by People Who Don't Like Vegetables, and so you definitely don't want to encourage your mom in that direction, since I think that's what turns so many kids off early). Anyway, life is short, and people come first. Sounds like you control what your child eats most of the time. If it really stresses you out, you can leave some prepped veggies in the fridge for when your mama comes, bake and mash sweet potatoes or squash or something yummy as a side dish-- and if your kiddo doesn't eat it, no sweat, at least you offered. But I'd argue that variety is good, and that learning that treats are sometimes available is good, too, esp. if they're home-cooked with a loving hand. Granny isn't taking junior out to McDonald's twice a week, right?

Anonymous wrote:This kid is 12 months old. He's barely eating ANYTHING solid yet. Why are you worried about this?

Some kids are on solids at that age. All three of ours were onto regular foods by then.

But I honestly would not stress eating at grandma's 2x a week. Kids do not diet like adults do and there's plenty of other meals where he'd be eating the way OP wants him to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:apples sauce, toast and oatmeal is a bad breakfast? (assuming whole wheat, no sugar apple sauce, and not instant oatmeal etc)

I am the PP who listed those items. I didn't say it was a bad meal, and mentioned that my mom's and my food concepts are not all that different. But even small differences can feel like an issue.

But also, I do think that meal is too heavy on carby and slightly sweet tastes and lacking in protein, fats, and fresh fruit/veggies. Its the *perfect* kids meal, all bland carbs. So while I think its just an OK meal, my mom is like jeez, its whole wheat bread for cryin' out loud!

Besides the toast its actually the best breakfast you can feed a kid. Maybe, OP, you need to learn more about healthy eating habits. Apple, while sweet, is one of the lowest fruits on the glycemic index (insulin response to glucose). Oatmeal is full of protein and fiber. It will keep him full. This in fact is what someone that is diabetic should eat for breakfast (or English muffin and cottage cheese or eggs).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am like you op... I cringe at my mil's idea of bonding. Every time my toddler goes to visit she gets one, two and even more if we don't literally take it away from her. Every time we mention "grandma," my daughter says "cookie!" it is kind of funny... When we drive by her place but don't stop, she has a little fit: "gramma! Cookie! Gramma! Cookie!"

Sorry I have to LOL! Your Mom knows how to keep her coming back for more.

Anyway, OP, as a child my parents (and many friend's parents) fed us McDonald's regularly and thought nothing of it. Your Mom's cooking has got to be better than that without a doubt.

Seriously. I grew up eating Froot Loops and Twinkies for breakfast, and today, am healthy, fit, and have all my teeth. Just because kids are exposed to some sugar does not mean their lives are doomed. In fact, today I don't crave sweets much at all, and I often think it's because I had so much sugar as a kid, that I just got sick of it!

Anonymous wrote:apples sauce, toast and oatmeal is a bad breakfast? (assuming whole wheat, no sugar apple sauce, and not instant oatmeal etc)

I am the PP who listed those items. I didn't say it was a bad meal, and mentioned that my mom's and my food concepts are not all that different. But even small differences can feel like an issue.

But also, I do think that meal is too heavy on carby and slightly sweet tastes and lacking in protein, fats, and fresh fruit/veggies. Its the *perfect* kids meal, all bland carbs. So while I think its just an OK meal, my mom is like jeez, its whole wheat bread for cryin' out loud!

This kid is 12 months old. He's barely eating ANYTHING solid yet. Why are you worried about this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom never cooks any vegetables. I grew up thinking veggies are usually garnish.

I have a 12 month old and she comes over twice a week. She has told me she doesn't want to give him anything he doesn't like since she's the grandma. So, he never sees any greens when she visits. Even if I put them out, what does a 12 month old prefer, yummy carb dish or steamed veggies? After lengthy discussion, she's trying but what she gave him was sugar and soy sauce laden mushrooms.

Should I forget about it? I understand it just gets harder. I try to give him veggies on other days and he gets them on other days, more often than not.

OP, Grandparents are here to spoil their grandchildren so that when they are gone children have wonderful memories of them and to know they were loved beyond unconditionally.

I think this sells the grandparents' role short. I feel that the grandparents can actually contribute to my kids' education.

I struggle with this with my mother-in-law, who has a very unhealthy diet. My advice to you, OP, is both to try to relax about it but also maintain your standards--because, at least in my experience, it will get much worse as your child gets older and starts expecting certain kind of food and it becomes part of the fun for Grandma to provide the junk. My MIL started with the starchy food instead of veggies, then moved onto sugared cereal, fast food, cookies, then candy, then soda, etc etc. She loves to tell the stories of how she introduced my kids to each of these things and it is all really sort of funny and I am glad that she is happy but I swear they eat nothing of nutritional value at the in-laws' house: dinners might be pancakes with ice cream for dessert. I agree with the others that a couple of bad meals a week is not horrible in the grand scheme so if you are at her house, let it go. But why not control what you are able to control and serve what you want to serve in your own home. Maybe compromise and let her give a little treat after the veggies?

Anonymous wrote:My mom never cooks any vegetables. I grew up thinking veggies are usually garnish.

I have a 12 month old and she comes over twice a week. She has told me she doesn't want to give him anything he doesn't like since she's the grandma. So, he never sees any greens when she visits. Even if I put them out, what does a 12 month old prefer, yummy carb dish or steamed veggies? After lengthy discussion, she's trying but what she gave him was sugar and soy sauce laden mushrooms.

Should I forget about it? I understand it just gets harder. I try to give him veggies on other days and he gets them on other days, more often than not.

OP, Grandparents are here to spoil their grandchildren so that when they are gone children have wonderful memories of them and to know they were loved beyond unconditionally.

Don't worry about it. My kid seriously would rather eat veggies than carbs. So just make your veggies yummy, use olive oil and salt to make them tasty and healthy.

(My kids normal, he'd still rather have ice cream than veggies, but he'll always eat all his broccoli before eating rice, noodles, bread, etc).

apples sauce, toast and oatmeal is a bad breakfast? (assuming whole wheat, no sugar apple sauce, and not instant oatmeal etc)

13:09 - the critical part is that the Inuit never ate sugar, grains, or any other junky carbs either. That's why they were healthy - not because they didn't eat vegetables.

OP -you do have every right to say "no sugar." And there's no reason you shouldn't. The bloggers below do not feed their children table sugar and they find their children all the better for it:

http://everydaypaleo.com/
http://paleoparents.com/
http://www.growinguppaleo.com/