At our immersion language preK, kids are taught not to use "bad" words (English ones although technically classes are only in the target language), not tease/make others feel bad, etc. so relationship skills are certainly taught. It's preK: learning how to get along with others is the main point.

Because NCLB doesn't count interpersonal skills. Neither does IMPACT. in these times of data driven accountability, if it isn't being measured, don't expect it to happen. Even the finest teachers will be warped by this system.

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the teachers help this child? The main point of preK, k etc is to learn how to get along with others. Teaching someone not to brag and stop being so bossy is as important as sitting at circle time, sharing, etc.

This is a good point. The teacher should be addressing this sort of behavior. "How we talk to others" should be a part of the pre-school social curriculum.

He'll probably change his behavior when he notices no one really likes being around or playing with him.

Hey, Janey is my daughter and her block building is, was and always will be the BEST! And yes, her building was better than your kid's!

Janey's MOM!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I met up with a girl like that in the Building Museum last week. She was 5 and was building with blocks. She had built a really high tower and my 2 year old was struggling with her little structure. The 5 year old said "mine is better than yours" and kept saying it to my daughter.

Her mother said "your right Janey! Yours is!"

Finally, some older kid knocked Janey's tower down. I laughed on the inside.

I would have bust out LAUGHING IN THE KID'S FACE AND THEN DONE A VICTORY LAP AROUND THE KNOCKED DOWN TOWER. HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, JANEY?!

I hope we're friends!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I met up with a girl like that in the Building Museum last week. She was 5 and was building with blocks. She had built a really high tower and my 2 year old was struggling with her little structure. The 5 year old said "mine is better than yours" and kept saying it to my daughter.

Her mother said "your right Janey! Yours is!"

Finally, some older kid knocked Janey's tower down. I laughed on the inside.

In scenarios like this, when an older kid is inflicting this on a younger one, I always say, "Of course it is, you are older."

Because I don't want her to learn older means better. That kid and her mother were assholes.

I know a child like the one you described. My observation looking over the last 8 years is that the statements coming out of the kid's mouth were things the parents told him over and over. Let's call him Jimmy. "Jimmy, you are so smart and the best at math in your class. Jimmy, you can read more books in a month than anyone who is two years ahead of you in school. Jimmy, your vocabulary is ...." You get the picture. The kid was so full of himself. But here is the rub, he didn't know he was full of himself. He loves his parents and if they said it then it must be true. Three or four years ago the parents realized Jimmy really didn't have any friends and it was upsetting for him. Jimmy complained that the other boys excluded him from playground activities at school. But Jimmy could not stop himself from making the statements above because it had become his way of interacting with the other children. Teachers had raised these issues with the parents over the years but they didn't get the hint. The parents blamed the school, the other boys etc. The parents spoke with the parents of the other boys who defended their own pointing out Jimmy's annoying ways. Jimmy changed schools b/c the other boys just couldn't put aside the 7 year annoying habit of Jimmy's behavior. It was a wake up call for the parents who through counseling for themselves and Jimmy are trying to unwind the mess they created. Jimmy is happier at his new school but the friendship thing is still hard b/c he is now a teenager.

So my advice is to steer clear unless it becomes a significant issue for your child in which case you raise it with the teachers. Ask the teacher to separate the two kids to the extent possible if needed. Limit the contact outside the classroom. Recognize it may not be Jimmy's fault but it isn't your job to change his ways. If you are present when such statements are made then redirect.

Hope things improve for your child, and for "Jimmy".

Anonymous wrote:Pull the kid aside, push him into a locker and tell him he ain't all that.

Good advice!

Ignoring unwanted behavior is considered the best way to halt unwanted behavior in kids that age. Probably what the teachers are doing. Drawing attention to the behavior by addressing it gives the child what they want and reinforces the activity. So keep ignoring it and give praise when the child does something helpful so empathy and awareness of others result in attention for this young person.

I'm not a child psychologist but my own observation tells me that a lot of kids have a phase like that, some longer some shorter, some earlier, some later, mostly more around K or 1st grade. PK seems early for that. It's a - from an adult point of view - unacceptable form of trying to connect, impress, and seek approval. On the other end of the spectrum, you'll have a lot of kids in PK who are still whining and crying to seek attention. With a whining child in my household, I'm frankly not sure what I prefer among the two suboptimal options. I don't think it's helpful to tell the child "he is hurting others" by pointing to what he is good at. That's an adult way of looking at it. Definitely, PK should have a lot of social interaction stuff built in, where over time this child will get the hang of how to be liked, simply because other kids will reward him for doing it right and disapprove of him for being obnoxious and uninteresting (regardless of what the parents do) and hopefully also learn to express how that makes them feel.
If it doesn't subside as something of a bad habit, then you (or rather the teacher) may be looking at more of a condition. For example, Asbergers children often stand out for the unbearably professorial demeanor very early in life. They'll need some help learning rather than just eventually "getting the hang" what's expected.

Why doesn't the teachers help this child? The main point of preK, k etc is to learn how to get along with others. Teaching someone not to brag and stop being so bossy is as important as sitting at circle time, sharing, etc.