Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:43     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
I think there needs to be a dispensation for parents of very young kids, and E-mail or in-person thank-yous should really suffice. If you really want a card in the mail instead, please don't send us a gift.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:38     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate them too. So I don't write them. I figure if a simple verbal "thank you" isn't enough, then the person who is giving the gift is expecting too much.


I give less frequently to people who don't write thank you notes. It takes, what, five minutes a note?


The rule is, if you thank them in person, no note is required. So let's clear that up.

And I am one of those people who would rather I don't receive a gift with strings attached in the first place. I NEVER give a gift and keep a mental tally of 'oh who has slacked on writing me that note and mailing it!'.

I do appreciate acknowledgement that a gift has been received, but a verbal, email, FB post, or IM 'hey thanks i got your gift' is enough for me.

And I argue with the 5 minutes a note. You have to find their address, find a stamp/envelope/card, write the note (which should be somewhat customized), and put it in the mailbox. For those of you who are perfectly organized and have quiet children, that might be easy for you. It's not so easy for me.


5 minutes per note, but writting them all at a sitting, so you grab your address book (or phone in my case), the cards, envelopes and letters and list of gifts and who they were from. Sit down and write a three line note to each person.

Dear Friend

Line 1: thank you so much for the X that you sent me for Christmas. Line 2: I really like X because..... Line 3 for Christmas thanks yous: I really hope you had a wonderful Christmas and look forward to talking to/seeing you soon/next occasion you expect to see/talk to them.

Thanks
Me.

Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:28     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:If someone can take the time to find, purchase, wrap, and send a gift, the least I can do is write a note and stick it in an envelope to say "thanks".


Not to mention the time it takes to log on to DCUM and complain about the 350 gifts your DC received.

You're entitled little twits who have no time for anyone but yourselves.

At least that's what the 350 people who sent your kid gifts are thinking right now, because you can't bring yourself to write a simple thank you note.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:23     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
I think as long as you thank the person, in whatever form, that is all that matters. I personally think a thank you note is a waste of paper. I mean, do you save all of your thank you notes that you receive? I do not give gifts ever expecting a thank you note in return. I give the gift b/c I care about the person I am giving it to. If they just take it and don't say thank you at all, that is another story...but a quick verbal or emailed thank you is fine enough.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:23     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:I hate them. I also hate exchanging gifts between adults, which I think is a huge waste of time and misallocation of resources.


ITA! Other than spouses/significant others, I see absolutely NO REASON for adults to exchange gifts. And I'm not talking about taking someone to lunch for their birthday or something like that, which I think is great.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:22     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You don't need to write thank you's for Christmas presents. Any other gift giving requires a thank you note.


Thank you! I was beginning to think my MIL was somewhat in the norm of society "rights"! Which she never is


There is no Christmas exception to the rule of manners that says that you write thank you notes for gifts.


If someone can take the time to find, purchase, wrap, and send a gift, the least I can do is write a note and stick it in an envelope to say "thanks".
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:20     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
I hated writing them as a kid. My mom had to force us. I am glad she did though. I think it is a good lesson for kids---acknowledging thanks and giving appreciation.

My kindergartener now writes his own. I dictated what he wanted to say and then he copied what I wrote into the cards. His handwriting is so big now that all that would fit was: Dear Grandma and Granpa, Thank you for the presents. Love, X.

I figure he's on his own from here on out so I only need to write the 3-year olds and my own. For Xmas I combined 3-year olds with mine.

Thankfully- my siblings recently cut out gifts to cousins/nephews/neices so we only had the two sets of grandparents to write.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:19     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate them too. So I don't write them. I figure if a simple verbal "thank you" isn't enough, then the person who is giving the gift is expecting too much.


I give less frequently to people who don't write thank you notes. It takes, what, five minutes a note?


The rule is, if you thank them in person, no note is required. So let's clear that up.

And I am one of those people who would rather I don't receive a gift with strings attached in the first place. I NEVER give a gift and keep a mental tally of 'oh who has slacked on writing me that note and mailing it!'.

I do appreciate acknowledgement that a gift has been received, but a verbal, email, FB post, or IM 'hey thanks i got your gift' is enough for me.

And I argue with the 5 minutes a note. You have to find their address, find a stamp/envelope/card, write the note (which should be somewhat customized), and put it in the mailbox. For those of you who are perfectly organized and have quiet children, that might be easy for you. It's not so easy for me.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:17     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
To the PP with PPD from writing notes...why didn't you write them before having your baby? My shower was weeks in advance of birth and I had plenty of time to write all the notes before being sleep deprived.

Anyway, I hate it when people don't write thank you notes/emails/calls for weddings and baby showers. In fact, if I don't get a thank you note, email, or call I won't give another gift. Frankly it makes it seem like the person doesn't care. I took the time to shop, spend money, and sometimes go to the post office to send it to you. There is no excuse for not taking 5 minutes to write a thank you.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:12     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You don't need to write thank you's for Christmas presents. Any other gift giving requires a thank you note.


Thank you! I was beginning to think my MIL was somewhat in the norm of society "rights"! Which she never is


There is no Christmas exception to the rule of manners that says that you write thank you notes for gifts.


Oh, there she is! Crackin' that whip!

I think there IS an exemption for new parents struggling with insane sleep deprivation, even if it happens to happen around Christmas time.


I didn't say that there isn't an exemption for new parents struggling with sleep deprivation...I actually think the OP is fine and should be excused, and I was also the pp who said it was fine to send emails...but the subsequent posters said that no one ever has to write thank you cards, and that is just wrong. You might not write them, and you might feel that your friends and family who give you gifts don't deserve thank you notes, but it doesn't mean that you are correct on the manners.

Unless you have a newborn, it really doesn't take that long to write thank you cards. Mine took less than an hour. Even my 4 year olds have written thank you cards already for all their christmas gifts.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:12     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:PP here with the thank you note PPD. One thing I'd say is, it's important to say thank you. But you know what? Those people who think it's shocking to get thanked by email or by phone call or in person instead of a formal, written note, can go suck an egg. The process is more important to them than the sentiment. I actually generally enjoy writing a nice thank you note, and when I get a thoughtful one, it's nice and I enjoy it. But this idea that it HAS to be done, makes it into a huge chore for people. Especially new parents. I felt really beholden to old fashioned values when I got all of those gifts. I really wouldn't want a thank you note from someone who was feeling chained and burdened and overwhelmed by the daunting task of writing hundreds of them. And to a new parent, it probably does not even take "hundreds" to make you crazy. I think anyone who judges a new parent harshly for not writing timely thank you notes is probably not the kind of person I care about pleasing, anyway.


A new parent get "hundreds" of gifts? And aren't both parents writing the notes?
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:11     Subject: i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:I hate them too. So I don't write them. I figure if a simple verbal "thank you" isn't enough, then the person who is giving the gift is expecting too much.


I give less frequently to people who don't write thank you notes. It takes, what, five minutes a note?
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:08     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
PP here with the thank you note PPD. One thing I'd say is, it's important to say thank you. But you know what? Those people who think it's shocking to get thanked by email or by phone call or in person instead of a formal, written note, can go suck an egg. The process is more important to them than the sentiment. I actually generally enjoy writing a nice thank you note, and when I get a thoughtful one, it's nice and I enjoy it. But this idea that it HAS to be done, makes it into a huge chore for people. Especially new parents. I felt really beholden to old fashioned values when I got all of those gifts. I really wouldn't want a thank you note from someone who was feeling chained and burdened and overwhelmed by the daunting task of writing hundreds of them. And to a new parent, it probably does not even take "hundreds" to make you crazy. I think anyone who judges a new parent harshly for not writing timely thank you notes is probably not the kind of person I care about pleasing, anyway.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:07     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You don't need to write thank you's for Christmas presents. Any other gift giving requires a thank you note.


Thank you! I was beginning to think my MIL was somewhat in the norm of society "rights"! Which she never is


There is no Christmas exception to the rule of manners that says that you write thank you notes for gifts.


Oh hi MIL I did not know you came onto DCUM. Ugh
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2012 10:03     Subject: Re:i HATE thank you notes...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You don't need to write thank you's for Christmas presents. Any other gift giving requires a thank you note.


Thank you! I was beginning to think my MIL was somewhat in the norm of society "rights"! Which she never is


There is no Christmas exception to the rule of manners that says that you write thank you notes for gifts.


Oh, there she is! Crackin' that whip!

I think there IS an exemption for new parents struggling with insane sleep deprivation, even if it happens to happen around Christmas time.