Single mom, 150K.

Occasional sitter to go to a play or other cultural event, get my hair cut, that kind of stuff. (And an occasional overnight work trip, but that's not what you're asking about.) But I do daily pick-up, dinner/evening routine on my own. No peapod, no cleaning service ... honestly, I think about a cleaning service every so often, but then I add up what I would pay them over a year and figure I would rather live with more dust bunnies and take a fun vacation.

My indulgence for me is personal training, and my other big expense is private school. I figure I am happier when I am physically active, so that cuts down on other costs (e.g., shopping therapy, spontaneous eating out, mental health care), and one thing I just don't have is the time I decided I would need to put in at school if my kid were in DCPS. If I didn't have a tuition bill, I would be more willing to spend some money on a cleaning service and other time-savers/assistance, but I would rather invest that money (and more!) in DC's education.

single mom, 100k
cleaning 1x month
babysitters here and there, scheduling it regularly would probably be a good idea
child in private school so that eats alot of money
work is flexible which is key, end up leaving early when i can to run errands
never liked grocery delivery, never think produce is good, etc.
do alot of shopping by amazon, on line

Anonymous wrote:What does making 6 figures (and different categories of 6 figures) have to do with keeping sane as a single mom? I didn't realize the more you made the harder it was to keep sane?

Are you that dense? 6 figures could take us up to 999,999.
There is a big difference between what you can do in DC for 150 vs 800.
The levels fall directly into the gs bands

1422 NYB but I'm in a relationship just not with the deceased father of my child. What's wrong ? Are you bitter you've not broken past 5?

1422. NYB but I'm in a relationship. After father of kid died. What's wrong you bitter about your 5 figures?

I'm not 6 figures yet, but I do have lots of family support and ex still provides $$ and assistance (does pick up from daycare everyday, keeps DD when I work OT, spends Sundays with her but no overnights). However, my parents regularly take DD for overnights. I do a cleaning service once in a blue moon, but would make this a biweekly if I could afford it.

DD loves grocery shopping with me, because I give her duties so Peapod isnt necessary. I'm also really particular, so I have to pick out my own produce from WFs like a PP mentioned.

I would suggest spending extra $$ on babysitting and cleaning service. My fam only recently started taking DD so often (I was too attached) and ex wasn't always as involved either. Having time for myself is the real game changer. I would make that the priority.

Anonymous wrote:Ok thanks, OP here without making it clear who I am I gave tiers. Yes, making more than poverty should afford me the ability to hire help. But where and what? Do I get cleaning? How often? Is that a waste? Should I focus on prepared meals? or a 1/2 day sitter on weekends so I can get our groceries? Or do I pay the peapod premium? So what has worked for other moms similiarly situated
Some single moms are actually really single no partner and no family. Just you in the kid. But thanks you judgmental ********... now at least I know why you are single.

...and we know why you are single too! You are insane if you think people were supposed to understand that horribly written post and then feed you advice after you insult single mothers. Get a life.

Single mom, Tier 3+

Peapod weekly, Amazon probably once a month.
Monthly "deep" house cleaning. The sureface stuff I do weekly/nightly.
Babysitter maybe twice a month for a night out.
Leave work early on some days while DC is still in school/aftercare, to run errands, get haircut, mani/ipedi, etc.
I had a nanny for the first 3 years, then private pre-school and now private pre-K. School and aftercare take up a lot of resources.

I am a single mom, well above Tier 3 but with an incredibly flexible job where I create my own hours--I bill a high hourly rate so I am VERY lucky. I have a nanny/housekeeper (yes, one of those) who works 4 or 5 days a week and ends up clocking roughly 35 hours. During that time I work and run errands, she also babysits one or two nights a week at maybe an additional 12 hours. About once ever two or three weeks I hire her for an additional 5 hours a week to ONLY clean, no childcare. So, let's just say at the maximum I have about 55 hours of childcare/household help a week. I still feel like I am going slightly insane at times. If I were making maybe $30k more I would hire one of those personal organizers or a freelance personal assistant to periodically help me maintain order.

For meals, I love to cook so I place importance on that. Unfortunately, our beloved LIFESAVER can barely boil water so she has no duties in that regard and I just prepare meals for my son and leave them in the fridge for her to heat up or offer as is. I do Peapod for most pantry goods, have milk delivered from a dairy, and I go to Whole Foods for produce because I like to choose my own stuff.

I am also in a relationship but he doesn't sleep over, nor does he really see my son very often. I am pretty good about keeping up a firewall between my relationship and my family life. I try to work the boyfriend into my free evenings and my workdays for lunch and stuff. We also text and talk (after bedtime) on the phone a lot, like teenagers. I actually think it is awful.

Tips:
Prep meals the night before, sometimes it is the last thing I do before I go to bed.

Sometimes, it just matters that the clothing in the hamper is clean, not that it made it back into the drawer.

Ordering out two nights worth of food from a restaurant that you love, so you can have lunches for a few days or whatever to alleviate stress.

Sometimes, Sesame Street isn't the devil. Sometimes, it's your friend.

Get a planner with a note-taking section. Date all your notes, keep them all in you planner. Keep everything together. iPhones are great to use, too, but having stuff on physical paper has saved me SO MANY times.

diapers.com/soap.com/amazon.com/sephora.com/gap.com: I NEVER go to the mall. Shopping online allows me to save time and go to the park or make mac-n-cheese from scratch.

Single Mom , 125 k ( due to overtime). For me my biggest priority is my child's happiness and well being. That being my priority and because we live in DC, my money went towards staying home with him ( birth until toddler) ( that cost me $45 K) and then a Nanny when I went back to work so the DC could wake up in own bed at time her boody was ready and have someone play with her one on one. THat cost about one paycheck a month, so I worked overtime to be able to afford better child care. When it was time for Pre-K , I applied to private schools. I traded Nanny bills for tuition bills ( more with after care) so I worked more overtime. DD is doing very well in school, is loved and is happy. It is all worth it. A few years ago I was able to buy a house ( all that overtime really made my income look good to the band when the bubble burst on real estate and credit. Ever since, that mortgage interest deduction has been my lifeline. I also rent out my basement. Now there is less overtime avail so I work a second job and still make less. I have not asked for more FA , but simply eliminated all extras: I do the cleaning,we do not eat out and DD is the one who gets the clothes( used ones usually). But as we live in DC with a terrible neighborhood school and DD gets to go to a wonderful school I feel very , very fortunate and am happiest I have been in my life.

OK, I now get the question, OP.

I make five figures, but if I had the dough I would totally spring for grocery delivery and cleaning service. That will free up a lot of time. Unless you're the kind of person who feels the need to clean before the cleaning service gets there.

Re: prepared meals, depends on how much you like to cook. We eat out a lot out of convenience and frankly my energy level, but I enjoy cooking and am skilled enough to do it well AND quickly.

I have a regular once-a-week sitter so I can do a thing related to my hobby.