Anonymous wrote:I'd consider what your "hourly" rate would be with a different job. I used to make a lot more, but I worked a ton of hours. When I took my current job for $20K less, I crunched the numbers and saw that my hourly rate would actually be higher because the hours were so much better. (and much better for family/life balance, which is why I took it.)

If you really like your job and you're doing fine financially, I'm not sure I'd say "rock the boat!"

This is true for a lot of higher earning jobs. You earn less per hour but have the potential to earn more overall because of the longer hours and type of industry.

So work to live is the motto

At 20 in Italy on vacation, my friend's boyfriend said "you either live to work or work to live" and ever since (now 45) worked nonprofits, took time off to raise kids, going for a 2nd career to pay for their college, etc. but that's what I did amd my hubby--we'll never be wealthy but hsving bought our home before the crazy house prices live in a great Moco neighborhhod, great schools, and have lots of time with kids. I think once you see the European model of life, it makes more sense. Ps no wealthy parents, no private school, no trust funds. Hubby makes 1/2 what the Dads make here, all timing.

Anonymous wrote:PP, thank you, your thoughts about outsourcing are helpful. Do you mind saying how much you make and what you do? I'd actually love to be able to afford a yard person and housekeeper. But it sounds like your life is overly busy and you never have time to relax. I also worry about not having enough time with DCs. Part of earning more may be an ego thing as well (for me). It's exciting and feels good to be a high wage earner and to be able to do and have the things that go with it, especially when you are surrounded by other high wage earners.

Lawyer, $500K. DH makes slightly less. I would love to have more time. Yard people are not as much fun as going to the nursery yourself and planting yourself. Cleaning, laundry, cutting grass - meh. But caring for your home, having time to think, having time to improve your home, picking your own flowers, organizing your children's rooms yourself, and having time to relax - priceless. Not to mention time to finish a board game with DCs. I'm always saying things like, "Mommy MUST get on a call at 3:00! We have to end now." Think very carefully about this and what you want your balance to look like. I'm not sure I am a model to follow.

It's kind of sad. I think about retirement (20+ years off) all the time. But then I realize I may come down with some stress-related disease and never make it. Or make it and realize that I don't have nearly enough money to enjoy it because I spent it all just trying to survive this life. Again, think carefully.

I aspire to be someone who changes her linens and throw pillows seasonally. We'll see if I ever get there...

Do you have money, PP, but still think it is unimportant?

Anyone that thinks money reigns is horribly short sighted and has no money!

money reigns

PP, thank you, your thoughts about outsourcing are helpful. Do you mind saying how much you make and what you do? I'd actually love to be able to afford a yard person and housekeeper. But it sounds like your life is overly busy and you never have time to relax. I also worry about not having enough time with DCs. Part of earning more may be an ego thing as well (for me). It's exciting and feels good to be a high wage earner and to be able to do and have the things that go with it, especially when you are surrounded by other high wage earners.

Is your potential new job just higher stress or also higher hours?

Here's the thing. I make a lot of money, even by DCUM standards. But, in order to earn that, I have to be available almost all the time, work long hours (as does DH) and try to balance kids/homework/work demands/house demands/pet demands/stupid volunteer commitments I made, etc.

I have no time. None. (This post is a study break from work).

I also have: a dogwalker, yard guys, different yard guys that pick up dog poop, a nanny, a housekeeper, and a tutor for one DC. I also have lots of dry cleaning because I have to wear really nice stuff to work. I also think I am Peapod's biggest customer.

If I had a job that was at all compatible with a normal life, I could get rid of much of this. I literally could cut my expenses by a couple of hundred thousand dollars a year.

So, don't look just at the higher salary. Look at what the new job COSTS.

I worked harder and longer hours when I was younger, to build up my seniority and level so that now when I'm older and have a family, I have the financial security to have more flexibility. In my 20's and 30's, I often worked 45-60 hours per week, I was the worker that would take the evening and weekend extra hours to get things done. As such, I built up to the point that I am a principal engineer and have the salary built up and I don't take those extra hours and tasks...I let the younger guys do it now. I planned for this when I was younger to build up the financial security that I need to care for my family.

Money is important for the security that it provides my family. As others have pointed out, I want to be able to afford a home that meets our needs and wants, the ability to provide for my family so that we have choices for what we do rather than only going with an option that meets our income level.

For you, you have to decide if the sacrifice of more responsibility, less flexibility of work schedule and extended work hours is worth the benefits of the time that you'll get with your family. Everyone has to make that decision. I made those sacrifices earlier in my career so that I wouldn't have to make those now. Assume that you'll have to increase your work hours about 10-20% (if you work 40 hours, think that yo might have to work 45-50 hours per week) to get that salary increase. Weigh what you'd be able to do with with higher financial return versus what you'd lose with having less time for your family. Are you comfortable will getting home occasionally after the kids are in bed? Are you comfortable sacrificing several of the activities that you'd do together over the weekend to get the higher wages to give you a more comfortable level of living?

I'd consider what your "hourly" rate would be with a different job. I used to make a lot more, but I worked a ton of hours. When I took my current job for $20K less, I crunched the numbers and saw that my hourly rate would actually be higher because the hours were so much better. (and much better for family/life balance, which is why I took it.)

If you really like your job and you're doing fine financially, I'm not sure I'd say "rock the boat!"

Unfortunately we can't cut our expenses anymore than we already have.

Anonymous wrote:I have a job I really like that pays pretty well, but we have a lot of expenses and I wonder if I should try to get a job that pays more or if I should encourage DH to get a new job (he likes his current job). I could probably make significantly more but I wonder if the higher paid jobs are so much more stressful and demanding (such as bringing in business). Just not sure if "the grass is greener on the other side" applies here.

Don't change jobs just to make more money. Cut down your expenses.

Money = security to me, so when I was single with no kids, I worked a stressful, demanding job to build up a nest egg. Once I had kids, I took a lower stress, lower paying job, but the early years ignited our net worth engine. To me, money means being able to leave my job or my marriage if I need or want to. It means my kids can go to college debt free. It means we can retire. The first million took 13 years, but the second million took only 6 years. Working on third million now.

Anonymous wrote:money is probably top 3 along with health and happiness in life. i don't care about buying stuff but about a safety net for job loss, illness, etc.

Same here - and in this economy, with a shrinking social safety net (such as it is), I'm finding it more and more important.

I worry about retirement needs in the event one or both of us becomes disabled, develops dementia, etc. My mom died last summer in assisted living and had lots of needs for the last few years of her life - her monthly fee was almost $10K.