Behavior therapy really helps with restructuring/training their minds to decrease these behaviors. They mature, but also they need more clear consequences so that they see that something "bad" will happen when they do the wrong thing. I don't know as much about ADHD, but my son is autistic which is a developmental delay. So the theory is that we can help support and spur on that development. Behavior therapy has been the best of all the many therapies/interventions we have done. My son is also on meds which we consider to help him access the therapies and just have a general level of functionality so that he can go to school and have successful experiences.

Consequences PP here.

They can't repair it, of course. But ADHD kids can learn, and with help of various types they can learn to control their impulses better. Also they will mature, and everyone -- even people with ADHD -- can get better at impulse control as they mature.

So they can learn that their actions do have consequences and they can apply this knowledge as they learn to better control impulses and as they receive treatment that helps them do this (meds or therapy or both).

But how can consequences help to repair what is truly neurological then?

Anonymous wrote:OP, a kid with ADHD can really have a lot of trouble controlling impulses and may not think of consequences. I know my DD did a lot of stuff like that when she was about that age (this was pre-dx). Even now she has trouble controlling some impulses.

Of course there need to be consequences b/c ADHD doesn't exempt anyone from responsibility and your DS still has to learn. But I think it's ok and helpful to have compassion for how difficult it is to be a kid with ADHD and poor impulse control.

I totally agree. This also carries over into adulthood. My DH has a very difficult time thinking of future consequences and I won't let him go to places like the home and garden show with any cash/credit cards. If there's a gadget demo, he's usually sold before it's half over.

OP, a kid with ADHD can really have a lot of trouble controlling impulses and may not think of consequences. I know my DD did a lot of stuff like that when she was about that age (this was pre-dx). Even now she has trouble controlling some impulses.

Of course there need to be consequences b/c ADHD doesn't exempt anyone from responsibility and your DS still has to learn. But I think it's ok and helpful to have compassion for how difficult it is to be a kid with ADHD and poor impulse control.

OP here. Can't believe I'm writing about this tonight, of all nights....still so worried.


I know this isn't normal behavior for a 7 year old. He has an ADHD dx as well as a SPD dx. He also has social anxiety. He is socially and emotionally immature, about a year behind socially and about 3 years behind emotionally.

But he hasn't been on meds so now I'm thinking maybe I need to consult with a psych to consider meds for him.

How can a child steal from the principals desk while there for a different problem? How could he not think of the consequences? Even with his special needs, I don't get it.

I'm so sorry, OP -- I can tell you're really in pain and worried. I don't blame you. Please get a behavioral therapist and also get some time for you (as a mom) -- you will feel better if you talk through your feelings and how to cope. I've done this on two different occasions with our very spirited DC -- there's no ADHD but the energy level is so high that we've really had to work on helping her learn how to control her body. Yoga has also helped her. Good luck

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it's not normal and could land him in suspension or land you in a lawsuit. get that kid on meds. pronto.

You are nuts.

Perfectly normal, albeit very impulsive, for a young boy to see a squirt bottle sitting around and decide to spray it at someone.

He probably needs a good manners refresher course, not meds. He is only 7, still learning, so make this a learning experience.

Necessarily worthy of meds and parent angst? No. "Perfectly normal, albeit very impulsive?" No. I've worked in schools a long time. That's not typical behavior for a 7 year old, although I can think of several kindergarten students who might have squirted that bottle.

I agree with the PP. I also work in an ES and I know that my son and quite a few other kindergarteners would've done the same thing. The spray bottle shouldn't have been left anywhere near children. But it would be more unusual for a 7 yr old to do the same thing. Impulsiveness seems to drop off between K and first grade for boys and then again by second grade. The boys who are still 7 and impulsive tend to seek evaluations then if they haven't already.

PP, what method of detox do you propose?

Anonymous wrote:Meds aren't a magic bullet. Probably start working with a behavior therapist too.

Yup...the drug-pushers are out in full force. Don't completely agree with "behavior therapist" either. I liken that to putting a drunk person in drivers ed. These children are toxic. They need a method of detoxification.

If OP's child is stealing things from the principal's desk, it is a big deal.

Relax PP. It's not that big of a deal. He needs more behavior management, yes, but so do loads of other kids that don't have SN and have a lack of impulse control or don't fully comprehend consequences.

Ignore these other posters who are hollering. They obviously all have kids with impulse control and don't have a clue.

Firt, tke a deep breath. I'm not excusing any of your DS's behavior but we all need to keep in mind that the period around the holidays is a CRAZY time for kids. Even my NT, perfectly behaved, amazing NT kid has had behavioral problems that last 10 days. I'm in close contact with the school and the staff aren't concerned. It's annoying, for sure, but a lot of kids are having challenges right now. OP, you need to figure out if this is behavior is exacerbated by the holidays or if it's a sign that more intervention is needed.

On somewhat similar note - ALL my kids are driving me freakin nuts right now! They are so excited and are bouncing all over the place! ARRHG!