Anonymous
Post 07/26/2016 18:07     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!


Nanny here.

This.


Stay at home mom here with older kids/teens who had REALLY pleasant toddlers.

Don't you other moms read posts like this and just think how you can't wait for the childless nannies like this have their own kids?

A lot of it is age OP. A lot is personality. A lot is the kid letting it all out with the person she loves the most.

Some of it is consistency, yes, but that is a small factor amoung many bigger factors.


Oh for the love of Pete. It has nothing to do with her letting it all out with the person she loves the most. Please.
Her nanny won't tolerate that behavior. That's it. Period. End of story. I was a childless nanny for 10 years. I'm also a mother. My charges never behaved that way and my kids certainly don't. The reason? I'm very clear about my expectations and what the consequences of not following them will be. I then follow through.


It wouldn't be a dcum parenting thread without the perfect, know it all sharing her expertise

It is that kid letting it out where she feels safe...I guess your kids don't feel safe enough to ever have a meltdown around you.


There it is. You don't agree with me, so you assume my children don't feel safe? Not at all. They're happy, silly, well-adjusted little guys. One could argue that children without structure, stability and discipline feel unsafe. My children know what to expect. They know who their parent is and because of that, they can look to me for love and guidance. Children of those who don't discipline their child or have basic boundaries and consequences could feel unsure, unsettled and unsure of who is in charge of their safety and well-being. Using your logic, that could also be true.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2016 16:51     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!


Nanny here.

This.


Stay at home mom here with older kids/teens who had REALLY pleasant toddlers.

Don't you other moms read posts like this and just think how you can't wait for the childless nannies like this have their own kids?

A lot of it is age OP. A lot is personality. A lot is the kid letting it all out with the person she loves the most.

Some of it is consistency, yes, but that is a small factor amoung many bigger factors.


Oh for the love of Pete. It has nothing to do with her letting it all out with the person she loves the most. Please.
Her nanny won't tolerate that behavior. That's it. Period. End of story. I was a childless nanny for 10 years. I'm also a mother. My charges never behaved that way and my kids certainly don't. The reason? I'm very clear about my expectations and what the consequences of not following them will be. I then follow through.


It wouldn't be a dcum parenting thread without the perfect, know it all sharing her expertise

It is that kid letting it out where she feels safe...I guess your kids don't feel safe enough to ever have a meltdown around you.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2016 16:49     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!


Nanny here.

This.


Stay at home mom here with older kids/teens who had REALLY pleasant toddlers.

Don't you other moms read posts like this and just think how you can't wait for the childless nannies like this have their own kids?

A lot of it is age OP. A lot is personality. A lot is the kid letting it all out with the person she loves the most.

Some of it is consistency, yes, but that is a small factor amoung many bigger factors.


It wouldn't be a dcum parenting thread without the perfect, know it all contributing her expertise.

Oh for the love of Pete. It has nothing to do with her letting it all out with the person she loves the most. Please.
Her nanny won't tolerate that behavior. That's it. Period. End of story. I was a childless nanny for 10 years. I'm also a mother. My charges never behaved that way and my kids certainly don't. The reason? I'm very clear about my expectations and what the consequences of not following them will be. I then follow through.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2016 16:42     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!


Nanny here.

This.


Stay at home mom here with older kids/teens who had REALLY pleasant toddlers.

Don't you other moms read posts like this and just think how you can't wait for the childless nannies like this have their own kids?

A lot of it is age OP. A lot is personality. A lot is the kid letting it all out with the person she loves the most.

Some of it is consistency, yes, but that is a small factor amoung many bigger factors.


Oh for the love of Pete. It has nothing to do with her letting it all out with the person she loves the most. Please.
Her nanny won't tolerate that behavior. That's it. Period. End of story. I was a childless nanny for 10 years. I'm also a mother. My charges never behaved that way and my kids certainly don't. The reason? I'm very clear about my expectations and what the consequences of not following them will be. I then follow through.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2016 14:44     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!



Exactly right.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2016 13:49     Subject: child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
1,000% normal!
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2016 13:48     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!


Interesting perspective. My kid was like this as a baby, toddler, and still, as a 9 year old. Now he can tell me why he does it, though. He'll spend his day at school, where he is described as helpful, empathetic, and curious. He'll come home, grump about his homework, rebel at doing the dishes, and refuse to talk to his grandmother on the phone. Then as I sit next to him in his bedroom as he's winding down for sleep he'll say "I'm sorry, Mom. I was kinda a jerk this evening." Long, long pause. "I didn't pass my multiplication quiz. And the whole grade got banned from playing tag games at recess because one person had his feelings hurt, and I love tag and now we can't play all year long."

We save our big stuff for the people we love. Grown ups, 9 year olds, and toddlers.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2016 13:44     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!


Nanny here.

This.


Stay at home mom here with older kids/teens who had REALLY pleasant toddlers.

Don't you other moms read posts like this and just think how you can't wait for the childless nannies like this have their own kids?

A lot of it is age OP. A lot is personality. A lot is the kid letting it all out with the person she loves the most.

Some of it is consistency, yes, but that is a small factor amoung many bigger factors.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2016 13:37     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!


Nonsense, but I love your optimistic point of view...getting a two year old to stop "whining." Hilarious. Nannies and day care providers usually are with the toddlers when the children are well-rested and at their best. Parents have to deal with the tricky times of day. Early mornings can be rough, because of the rushed routine, and toddlers hate a rushed routine they can't completely control. And that time between 5 o'clock and bedtime (the unhappy hour) is the worst. Toddlers are tired and frequently overstimulated. The transition time between dinner and bedtime can be quite a challenge for all parties.




so funny. "rushed routine" "tricky times of day" that's all nonsense. Are you the parent or the caregiver? Because I'd say the previous commentor was correct in saying that the parents do not consistently discipline their own children. Any parent saying otherwise is blatantly lying or just plain ignorant. As for the transition time between dinner and bedtime, my advice for you would be to pay better attention to what you child wants in the moment. That is the most important thing, after all.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2011 22:35     Subject: child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:She knows who she can manipulate and how. She's a smart kid that's all


With our kids I felt that it was a matter of feeling safe with us (and with a certain nursery school teacher).

If kids consistently show the ability to behave appropriately in some situations then they probably "know" what is good behavior and "can" do it when they want to. This is good. As our kids matured, their behavior with us improved and we chalked it up to the usual testing and learning that comes with growing from a toddler to a big kid.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2011 21:29     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!
I'm a teacher and you are so right. Great point
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2011 21:11     Subject: Re:child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think that everybody is trying to make the mother feel better. To be honest the reason the children behave better with the nanny is because she is consistent with discipline. Parents dismiss a lot of whining and bad behavior where the nanny will say no, reason, or give the child a time out. If parents took more time out to say no to the whining and bad behavior it would be consistent all around!


Nanny here.

This.


yes, so true
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2011 21:04     Subject: child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:PP, don't overestimate your ability as a nanny.


Not a nanny but, obviously, she is better than child's mother. Most nannies are because they are consistent and most mothers think their whining snowflakes can do no wrong and that everyone else thinks their bad behavior is just too carling for words.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2011 21:00     Subject: child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
Anonymous wrote:PP, don't overestimate your ability as a nanny.


"this."
Don't overestimate your original thoughts either.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2011 20:24     Subject: child behaves better with nanny than parents- normal?
PP, don't overestimate your ability as a nanny.