Also tricked into sleeping with a married man after several weeks of dating. He was in the military and deployed. Found out in the worst way possible long after having broken up. Overheard wife refer to guy as her husband on the base. Turned around and saw...him. What are the odds that I would run into them at just that moment? Thinking about it doesn't make me mad. Guys are usually as shitty as they're allowed to be; it's their nature. If I had kept my legs closed this could never have happened.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. 2010 yuck. I totally understand about being pissed with women who go after otherwise involved men. I like 1950 was totally lied too. Now I feel like I have to do a background check on a potential suitor. One that checks all national databases at least.
I also get being mad at the other woman who didn't know but it has been years since I was cheated on and one random thought and my heart races and I am right back there and hate her for being so dumb. All the while these men had the commitments they broke.

It sounds like you have PTSD, and your "random thoughts" are triggers. Have you spoken with any professionals about it?

Best of luck to you. I think that the triggers go away with time and distance, but I have them too, and they're very difficult to deal with. Please take good care of yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:look if your husband did not open the door that woman would not walk in. that happend to me and for years i could not let go. antill one day my cousin told me let it go. he is happy with her, but still after 21 years still have not married her who have the lost laugh

Now try your post again...in English this time. If this is the typical intellectual capacity of mistresses, I see how they are easily fooled.

Na-uh. She is/was a wife

Anonymous wrote:look if your husband did not open the door that woman would not walk in. that happend to me and for years i could not let go. antill one day my cousin told me let it go. he is happy with her, but still after 21 years still have not married her who have the lost laugh

Now try your post again...in English this time. If this is the typical intellectual capacity of mistresses, I see how they are easily fooled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy cow! They were having sex in MY bathroom at MY house that was connected to MY private bedroom to be kinky. We rented this house for the wedding week. After my mom pulled me into MY bedroom to give me a family heirloom, we started hearing their sex noises.

You ask me why that makes me mad? Seriously????

Yes, I don't get it. Are you afraid of sex? Why does other people having it make you angry? Were either of the 2 of them married to other people? If no, you're overreacting. I'm getting Bridezilla vibes from you.

Does seem hot. Unless they he was married then it was not hot

look if your husband did not open the door that woman would not walk in. that happend to me and for years i could not let go. antill one day my cousin told me let it go. he is happy with her, but still after 21 years still have not married her who have the lost laugh

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy cow! They were having sex in MY bathroom at MY house that was connected to MY private bedroom to be kinky. We rented this house for the wedding week. After my mom pulled me into MY bedroom to give me a family heirloom, we started hearing their sex noises.

You ask me why that makes me mad? Seriously????

Yes, I don't get it. Are you afraid of sex? Why does other people having it make you angry? Were either of the 2 of them married to other people? If no, you're overreacting. I'm getting Bridezilla vibes from you.

I'm with you PP. Have no idea why she would be pissed. My mom and I both would have gotten a good laugh out of it. Beyond that I wouldn't really care.

Anonymous wrote:Holy cow! They were having sex in MY bathroom at MY house that was connected to MY private bedroom to be kinky. We rented this house for the wedding week. After my mom pulled me into MY bedroom to give me a family heirloom, we started hearing their sex noises.

You ask me why that makes me mad? Seriously????

Yes, I don't get it. Are you afraid of sex? Why does other people having it make you angry? Were either of the 2 of them married to other people? If no, you're overreacting. I'm getting Bridezilla vibes from you.

Holy cow! They were having sex in MY bathroom at MY house that was connected to MY private bedroom to be kinky. We rented this house for the wedding week. After my mom pulled me into MY bedroom to give me a family heirloom, we started hearing their sex noises.

You ask me why that makes me mad? Seriously????

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but I didn't know he was married. We both were working on a consulting project in NYC during the week and I'd return to DC some weekends and others we'd spend together. It wasn't until we got to the end of the assignment that he fessed up and said he was planning to leave his wife for me. I broke up with him right then and there. Aside from feeling completely mortified and ashamed, the worst and most awkward moment was when the wife called me to ask what she could do better to make him happy. Still not quite over the whole ordeal.

I too was with a man who was married and I didn't know it either. We both were out of town at a conference (that should have been the first red flag) attending separate conferences but at the same resort. We spent a week together and had the best time - eventually having sex. He told me he was going to call me, come see me even move to my town (he also lived on the East Coast). We returned home and of course I never heard from him. With today's technology it's pretty easy to find out about someone's life and I found out that he was married. I had his email address and sent him an email saying I knew that he was married and bascially calling him a jackass (it made me feel better to at least get my two cents in). It was not a good feeling though knowing that I slept with a married man - even unknowingly.

Op here. 2010 yuck. I totally understand about being pissed with women who go after otherwise involved men. I like 1950 was totally lied too. Now I feel like I have to do a background check on a potential suitor. One that checks all national databases at least.
I also get being mad at the other woman who didn't know but it has been years since I was cheated on and one random thought and my heart races and I am right back there and hate her for being so dumb. All the while these men had the commitments they broke.

I wouldn't be mad at a woman who was lied to (genuinely), but in my unfortunate experience, there are a subset of women who chase married men knowingly and get off on "stealing" those guys. In our case, the woman actually told DH that she loved cheating with him b/c I was better looking than her and it made her feel superior to be able to get him to stray from me. Now, I certainly blamed DH for what happened and I know he's where the fault lies. (For sure!) But, as someone who has mentored women and worked for women's rights... well, it really hurt to have another woman do something like. It's a very deep betrayal too.

I was once in a relationship with a married man. When his wife ultimately found it, she really wasn't angry with me (well, at least not so much so that she verballized it to me). When her husband eventually told her what was going on, she called me and begged me to talk to her truthfully. She knew he had lied to us both. It was a shitty situation for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:"My husband cheated for about a year. Rest assured I was pissed at both and sought to kick both of their asses! Her and I didn't have a relationship prior to the affair, so there was no vested interest in a reconciliation. "


Her and I?

Is that your only contribution? I was going to write something else, but backtracked and didn't catch this. "We didn't have....". There, all better now?

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but I didn't know he was married. We both were working on a consulting project in NYC during the week and I'd return to DC some weekends and others we'd spend together. It wasn't until we got to the end of the assignment that he fessed up and said he was planning to leave his wife for me. I broke up with him right then and there. Aside from feeling completely mortified and ashamed, the worst and most awkward moment was when the wife called me to ask what she could do better to make him happy. Still not quite over the whole ordeal.