Anonymous wrote:

I think you missed my point, which was that I have the same problems finding friends now that I am thin that I did when I was fat. It has nothing to do with not liking other women, and everything to do with just having social problems in general.

You're having trouble because you look for the worst in other people, and when you find it, you think you have uncovered a universal truth.

You have a future writing fortune cookies.

Anonymous wrote:

I think you missed my point, which was that I have the same problems finding friends now that I am thin that I did when I was fat. It has nothing to do with not liking other women, and everything to do with just having social problems in general.

You're having trouble because you look for the worst in other people, and when you find it, you think you have uncovered a universal truth.

I'm not the pp you quoted, but...come on. Do you even live in DC?

It's ok to wish you had more money and it's ok to wish you had a better body. But it's pointless to sit around and envy people who have those things to the point that you're miserable. Is it possible for you to have more money, given the constraints of your own life? What could you do to feel more well-off? And what could you do to improve your body and your body image? You might never be thin-thin (a lot of people aren't built to be truly skinny, myself included), but you could be a curvy bombshell babe or a muscular williams-sister babe and decide to get your body into a better shape that's possible for you. Good luck, though. we all get the green-eyed monsters sometimes.

I think you missed my point, which was that I have the same problems finding friends now that I am thin that I did when I was fat. It has nothing to do with not liking other women, and everything to do with just having social problems in general.

You're having trouble because you look for the worst in other people, and when you find it, you think you have uncovered a universal truth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that if I were thin my life would be so easy and so much more fun. It's not. It's still terribly hard to make friends. In fact, I think it's harder. Women are downright suspicious of any attractive woman.

Women who like women find likeable women. Women who don't like women find women who are suspicious of them.

Confirmation bias. Look it up.

I think you missed my point, which was that I have the same problems finding friends now that I am thin that I did when I was fat. It has nothing to do with not liking other women, and everything to do with just having social problems in general.

Anonymous wrote:I think confirmation bias can be applied to this whole thread. We are who we think we are. I'm a little plump and we live on a minimal income but we are very happy, have lots of friends, good family, I am beautiful, my husband is drop dead gorgeous. We're both smart (he's a scientist and i'm a teacher). We get invited to lots of parties - at least one / month (which to me is a lot). We are not ken and barbie. ACtually my brother is named Ken and his wife, Barbie (not kidding) and they had it "all" incl a 6 fig. income and their marriage lasted about 6 years; long enough to produce 2 children which they then proceeded to fight over for the next 20 years.

I love this!

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who is very thin and very rich -- two things I want but don't have. I know it's superficial and I have no idea if this person is even really happy, but it's just kind of hard to hear about all her new acquisitions and see how great she looks when I'm feeling dumpy and poor. Can anyone relate?

Yes. Everyone, it seems, in my neighborhood is like this. You said it yourself, though, you have no idea is she is happy. Just focus on your own happiness and you'll care less what others have. At the end of the day, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's, even with my saddle bags and student loans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:C'mon. You have most of the essentials if you have your health, a loving and supportive family, happiness and means to support you and yours and contribute to others.

That's just it. I don't want the essentials. I want to have a drop dead gorgeous body. I want to be really rich. I'm tired of always stressing about money and never having enough and always trying to lose weight and not liking my body.

Getting rich is not necessarily in your control, but getting the body you want theoretically is! So if you want a drop dead gorgeous body, do what it takes to get one. That will be more productive than whining or being jealous of others. All I can think is you don't want that badly enough to do what it takes to get it.

I don't think very thin is attractive. It also ages poorly.

A very fit, curvy body--toned, etc. would be my ideal. Skin and bones...eck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:C'mon. You have most of the essentials if you have your health, a loving and supportive family, happiness and means to support you and yours and contribute to others.

That's just it. I don't want the essentials. I want to have a drop dead gorgeous body. I want to be really rich. I'm tired of always stressing about money and never having enough and always trying to lose weight and not liking my body.

You say that now, but if/when you or someone close to you gets very sick you would have a whole new perspective. Man I wish there was a way for people to be thrown in that situation for 2 weeks and then taken out of it. People would LOVE LIFE!

I think confirmation bias can be applied to this whole thread. We are who we think we are. I'm a little plump and we live on a minimal income but we are very happy, have lots of friends, good family, I am beautiful, my husband is drop dead gorgeous. We're both smart (he's a scientist and i'm a teacher). We get invited to lots of parties - at least one / month (which to me is a lot). We are not ken and barbie. ACtually my brother is named Ken and his wife, Barbie (not kidding) and they had it "all" incl a 6 fig. income and their marriage lasted about 6 years; long enough to produce 2 children which they then proceeded to fight over for the next 20 years.

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that if I were thin my life would be so easy and so much more fun. It's not. It's still terribly hard to make friends. In fact, I think it's harder. Women are downright suspicious of any attractive woman.

Women who like women find likeable women. Women who don't like women find women who are suspicious of them.

Confirmation bias. Look it up.

My mom raised me to understand there will always be someone wealthier or thinner or smarter. I am so thankful she did this. I don't dwell on these things. I have followed my own path in life, which turned out to be pretty lucrative. My weight has been all over the place but I can lose the weight just like I gained it. Accept there will be those with more (and those with less) and follow your passion in life.

Wow -- amazingly helpful,thoughtful,friendly,deep replies. Thank you. This is why I do like drum. It's worth wading thru the snark!