Anonymous
Post 01/20/2012 23:55     Subject: Re:Asking Current School for Recommendation Form for Possible transfer
It's really best to take the high road in the admissions process and try to be as positive or neutral as possible about the school you're leaving. The new school usually knows what's going on anyway so the less you say the better. Rarely do admissions directors really push for reasons why you're leaving.


This advice describes our experience when we successfully applied out. Gave the forms to the teachers at the last possible date. I think they passed them to the Head as is the school policy. The new school understood the akwardness of the situation and didn't pry when we offered that we really felt that their school was simply a better fit. The old school didn't send the report cards as they said they had done and the new school's AD followed up with the old school on that. I kept all my communication focused on the new school and the subject never came up with the old school. The teachers never mentioned it and we waited until April when we found out DS was accepted from wait list. The old school Head never asked why we applied out.

The teachers were great about it. I know others who applied out and had negative experiences. I would avoid trying to justify your reasons with the current school - you aren't going to convince them and you don't need their approval.

Best of luck!
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2012 11:45     Subject: Asking Current School for Recommendation Form for Possible transfer
To 22:02,

Thank you for your insight. Much appreciated.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2012 22:02     Subject: Asking Current School for Recommendation Form for Possible transfer


13:15-Thank you. This information is very reassuring. I am torn about how much to mention to the AD at the incoming school. As another PP said, I would imagine this school has a reputation of sorts, but would imagine that the incoming school AD will be worried that we might be difficult parents. Any advice?


Consultant again. It's really best to take the high road in the admissions process and try to be as positive or neutral as possible about the school you're leaving. The new school usually knows what's going on anyway so the less you say the better. Rarely do admissions directors really push for reasons why you're leaving.

I often recommend that my families focus on why they're applying to the new school instead of why they're leaving the old one when talking with admissions.

Good luck, OP!

Anonymous
Post 01/19/2012 19:41     Subject: Re:Asking Current School for Recommendation Form for Possible transfer
Sorry that you are going through this, OP. I know for a fact that there is no on the sly way to get the recs. At my school the Head tells all the teachers that are NOT to mail recs themselves, but to direct families to admin, and have admin collect and mail them. The reason: to track possible attrition so that there are no surprises. That being said, you could make something non-threatening up : you are in the midst of a painful divorce, haven't told the kids yet( so please don't say anything) AND just don't know whether you can afford the school anymore. ( which makes you so sad because you LOVE it there). You only hope is X school because Jonny's grandparents teach there , and as such would be a courtesy FA.

OR . Play good cop bad cop. Meet with the Head and tell him/her that you love the school, but that DH has not gotten over X, that you are bitter about him forcing the move, because you love, love , love the school, but he is adamant and controls the funds. Bring flowers to the teacher when you meet to tell her the news. " I want to thank you for all you have done", explain your position, then ask for the recs through admin.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2012 18:53     Subject: Asking Current School for Recommendation Form for Possible transfer
Anonymous wrote:don't be afraid to walk in with a copy of your DC's grades. The school will send over an official transcript, it if isn't the same as the grades you have received, you will be asking questions. We did. Yes, it can get nasty.


What? A school actually falsified grades? Is this for real?


Yes. Sorry, it's for real. It happened to us. We thought people were being paranoid and crazy until it happened to us.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2012 16:28     Subject: Asking Current School for Recommendation Form for Possible transfer
Anonymous wrote:As a consultant, I deal with this a lot. Please know that the incoming school admissions people understand that there's a reason you're leaving your current school so the recommendations might be biased.

Also, I highly recommend you have someone outside the school write a letter of recommendation for your child. This can help show the disconnect between who the child is and how the teacher rec reads.

Hope this helps!


13:15-Thank you. This information is very reassuring. I am torn about how much to mention to the AD at the incoming school. As another PP said, I would imagine this school has a reputation of sorts, but would imagine that the incoming school AD will be worried that we might be difficult parents. Any advice?