Anonymous
11/07/2011 13:16
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
Do you have a relative who would be willing to fly to DC instead of the reunion location and then drive up with you?
Anonymous
11/07/2011 13:07
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
Can't believe your husband isn't going
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:55
Subject: Re:3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
I would also do the trip but can you make it more manageable as the other posters have suggested?
I would probably take a little extra time off work and go before it gets too nutty (maybe Tuesday?). Then I'd make DH fly out and meet me, and drive back with me and the kids.
I don't know - I would just so resent my DH if the fact that he didn't want to sit in traffic was the reason I missed seeing family, especially if they were in a fragile, older state. I realize traveling for the holidays is a huge pain, but I generally think it is worth it.
I would probably take a little extra time off work and go before it gets too nutty (maybe Tuesday?). Then I'd make DH fly out and meet me, and drive back with me and the kids.
I don't know - I would just so resent my DH if the fact that he didn't want to sit in traffic was the reason I missed seeing family, especially if they were in a fragile, older state. I realize traveling for the holidays is a huge pain, but I generally think it is worth it.
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:35
Subject: Re:3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
Why can't all or some of the kids stay home with DH?
In this situation, I would probably negotiate to get at least one of the kids to stay with DH. Though regardless of the outcome, I would definitely still make the trip. I have made many looooong trips by myself with the kids (two 10-hour day type of drives). Yes, sometimes it sucks, but the less you give in to their insanity, the easier it is. Or, just have a huge bag of food, treats and games, and keep throwing stuff back to them
Also, most importantly, just stop as much as you need to and don't worry about how quickly you are getting there.
In this situation, I would probably negotiate to get at least one of the kids to stay with DH. Though regardless of the outcome, I would definitely still make the trip. I have made many looooong trips by myself with the kids (two 10-hour day type of drives). Yes, sometimes it sucks, but the less you give in to their insanity, the easier it is. Or, just have a huge bag of food, treats and games, and keep throwing stuff back to them
Also, most importantly, just stop as much as you need to and don't worry about how quickly you are getting there.
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:34
Subject: Re:3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
I got stuck in that traffic and was miserable. Why not 1) take the ferry 2) train or 3) fly by yourself for 1 evening?
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:33
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
I would totally do this. As other posters mentioned, plan to leave early (Monday or Tuesday) and stay till the following Monday. Don't even think about hitting the road on Saturday or Sunday following Thanksgiving. Also agree that if you can split up the trip it will be better, stay in NJ for the night maybe? If not, I'd leave at 4 in the morning and get at least 2-3 hours in before the kids are up. Plan to stop as often as the kids needs to, and just realize that it's not going to be a fast trip. On the way up, I always look for a mall or playground or something like that on the way so that we can stop, have lunch and run around for a while. That helps to break up the trip a ton.
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:31
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, please don't consider driving over night with you by yourself and 3 kids. What if you fall asleep? I would only consider driving in the wee hours if I had someone to make sure I stayed awake. I don't think it's safe. I'm sure he doesn't want to lose you and all 3 kids. I would consider staying home for one year. We are staying home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. Of course, if any particular relative would like to see us, we are happy to have them come over. But we are always the ones that have to travel, and this year we are just not.
OP here. Just for the record, I wouldn't be driving at night. I know myself well enough to know that I can't drive overnight safely. So if I go I'd be driving during the day with the kids awake for just about all of the trip.
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:30
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
Yeah, please don't consider driving over night with you by yourself and 3 kids. What if you fall asleep? I would only consider driving in the wee hours if I had someone to make sure I stayed awake. I don't think it's safe. I'm sure he doesn't want to lose you and all 3 kids. I would consider staying home for one year. We are staying home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. Of course, if any particular relative would like to see us, we are happy to have them come over. But we are always the ones that have to travel, and this year we are just not.
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:29
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
Anonymous wrote:My extended family has a big thanksgiving celebration in New England. Last year we drove up with our twin 3 year olds and 1 year old singleton. On the drive back we hit traffic like we always do, and DH was complaining about the long drive and said "promise me we don't have to do this next year", and in the moment, I did. Fast forward to this year, because of that promise we weren't planning on going, but it makes me sad because I have several elderly relatives that I don't think will make it to next thanksgiving, but I promised DH. Last night we were talking, and he made a passing almost joking comment that I could take the kids by myself if I wanted to, which prompted a discussion that he really doesn't want to do the drive, but he doesn't mind if we are gone that weekend because he doesn't really care about thanksgiving anyway. So I'm considering driving 9-10 hours each way with a 2 year old and two 4 year olds. I would have help from grandparents once I arrived.
1) Is it a bad thing to be intentionally apart from your husband on a holiday? I can probably guilt/force him to go, but he won't be happy about it.
2) Am I a lunatic for even considering this drive without another adult? or should I just skip it and stay home this year?
I would not choose to be w/ extended family at the expense of my husband.
But, if I chose to go, I'd make liberal use of the DVD player. My 4.5 yo gets as much as she wants in the car on long rides (and that is only time she is allowed to watch movies, etc. like that). Everyone is much happier that way. In between, mom/dad will help color or whatever. You won't have that if it is only you.
Will they not watch the DVD player? Or are you otherwise opposed?
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:28
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming you're in DC, what about the amtrak? The twins should love being on a train, and you can far more easily manage them. Make sure you're on an end (2 sets of seats facing each other) and only a car or two away from the snack car. DH and I took it up to NYC and it was a breeze (many kids on the train too going up to Boston). The ACELA has far fewer stops, and I believe makes it in about 10 hours. This is the only way I would consider taking 3 children alone to Boston.
My IL's live near NYC and we always think about taking the train until we remember that it is just as/more expensive than flying. If the kids ride for free (I can't remember the age) it might be better. We always end up driving since the cost of gas and tolls is so much less for us.
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:28
Subject: Re:3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
Amtrak trains are a total zoo around the Thanksgiving holiday-and people aren't necessarily going to give up seats for a harried mom and three kids. I wouldn't risk it unless you really like to stand.
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:24
Subject: Re:3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
I can't believe that DH would let you go by yourself. My DH would be uneasy about me going on a long trip with our young kids, and of course, he would come with us. How are you going to manage bathroom breaks with three kids that young?
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:19
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
I would do it, but my kids have always been pretty good on long trips. When they were 6, 4, and 1, I did a 3-day drive with them. It wasn't the most fun we've ever had, but it worked out fine. Bring plenty to keep them occupied and build in a lot of stops, and you'll probably be fine.
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:16
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming you're in DC, what about the amtrak? The twins should love being on a train, and you can far more easily manage them. Make sure you're on an end (2 sets of seats facing each other) and only a car or two away from the snack car. DH and I took it up to NYC and it was a breeze (many kids on the train too going up to Boston). The ACELA has far fewer stops, and I believe makes it in about 10 hours. This is the only way I would consider taking 3 children alone to Boston.
OP, I thought about that, but every time I've travel by train in the past I had to carry on my own bags. With three car seats, luggage, etc. I'm not sure I could carry all of it and keep hold of the kids. Is there something I'm missing about train travel.
Anonymous
11/07/2011 12:12
Subject: 3 kids long drive by myself for thanksgiving.
I'm assuming you're in DC, what about the amtrak? The twins should love being on a train, and you can far more easily manage them. Make sure you're on an end (2 sets of seats facing each other) and only a car or two away from the snack car. DH and I took it up to NYC and it was a breeze (many kids on the train too going up to Boston). The ACELA has far fewer stops, and I believe makes it in about 10 hours. This is the only way I would consider taking 3 children alone to Boston.