If you can dodge a car, you can dodge a ball!

I have a little thing for John Cusack:

If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.

Nobody thinks it will work, do they?
No. You just described every great success story.

That's right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job! But the day I'm supposed to start, some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick 300 just for driving a van back from Mexico! When I get out of jail I'm 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down, talking to the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner. And *why*? Because *you* wouldn't help me in English, no! You were too busy to help me! Too busy to help a drowning man!

I want my two dollars

Anonymous wrote:

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:This show how old we all are, the vast majority of the quotes are pre-1990

Now then:

"I was born a poor black child"

"It's in the hole"

"Would you tie me up with some of your ties? Ty."
"Have fun storming the castle!"

Goddamn it - I posted 20+ quotes (9:12) and forgot "Have fun storming the castle!" I'm ashamed of myself. (Bonus points because it was a Billy Crystal line.)

"There is something you should know - I am not lefthanded."

EEK! I posted the land war in Asia and forgot "Have fun storming the castle!" Also ashamed.

"Don't eat the penis, it's just garnish."

"Leave the gun. Take the Cannoli"

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:This show how old we all are, the vast majority of the quotes are pre-1990

Now then:

"I was born a poor black child"

"It's in the hole"

"Would you tie me up with some of your ties? Ty."
"Have fun storming the castle!"

Goddamn it - I posted 20+ quotes (9:12) and forgot "Have fun storming the castle!" I'm ashamed of myself. (Bonus points because it was a Billy Crystal line.)

"There is something you should know - I am not lefthanded."

This show how old we all are, the vast majority of the quotes are pre-1990

Now then:

"I was born a poor black child"

"It's in the hole"

"Would you tie me up with some of your ties? Ty."
"Have fun storming the castle!"

Sell your crazy some place else. We're all stocked up here.

I invented the piano key necktie...I INVENTED IT!

"You've been missing a lot of work.

Well, I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it."

There are so, so many"

"Screws fall out. The world's an imperfect place."

"Will milk be made available?"

"Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?"

"Juuuust a bit outside, tried the corner and missed."

"Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies. Fry!"

"Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N."

"Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."
"If anything in this life is certain - if history has taught us anything - it's that you can kill *anybody*."

"You have to answer for Santino."

"I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart! "
"Interesting game. The only way to win is not to play."

"I thought you'd be bigger."

"These are not the droids you've looking for."

" Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."

" The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion." Ferris: "It is his fault he didn't lock the garage."

"A: You can never go too far. B: If I'm gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that. "

"So I've got that going for me . . . which is nice."

"It's a parking lot, Wong!"

"You get a free bowl of soup with that hat. But seriously, looks good on you."

"It's easy to grin, when your ship's come in, and you've got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile, is the man who can smile, when his shorts are to tight in the seat."

"Be the ball."

"Love your body, Larry."

"Look, defenseless babies!"

"Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo."

"Charge it to the Underhills." (There are dozens more from Fletch.)

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that. "

I want to meet boys, go to wild parties, and DANCE. (said with a Southern accent of course!)

i know you, asshole!