Anonymous
10/31/2011 15:24
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
I agree. And I can't stand and have NO respect for my son's father, my ex-husband. I never should have married and had a child with him.
Don't get me wrong, I deeply, deeply love my son and always will, but if he turns out like his father, I will be incredibly disappointed and feel like I failed as a parent. Luckily, so far, DS takes after me more than his father.
XH was not and is not supportive of me as our son's other parent, he does not put DS's needs first and does not think before he does things. There is no sense of responsibility, he's always the blameless victim of circumstance and he deserves to have whatever he wants, whenever he wants it.
I feel like I will be spending a good amount of the next 18+ years trying to counteract XH's influence on DS. It sucks. I made a mistake when I married that man (but I would not change a thing, as I do love my son, all of him, even the parts that are XH-clones)
Don't get me wrong, I deeply, deeply love my son and always will, but if he turns out like his father, I will be incredibly disappointed and feel like I failed as a parent. Luckily, so far, DS takes after me more than his father.
XH was not and is not supportive of me as our son's other parent, he does not put DS's needs first and does not think before he does things. There is no sense of responsibility, he's always the blameless victim of circumstance and he deserves to have whatever he wants, whenever he wants it.
I feel like I will be spending a good amount of the next 18+ years trying to counteract XH's influence on DS. It sucks. I made a mistake when I married that man (but I would not change a thing, as I do love my son, all of him, even the parts that are XH-clones)
Anonymous
10/26/2011 18:14
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
I wished my DS would be like my DH. Unfortunately, he turned out exactly like me. Oh well!
Anonymous
10/25/2011 19:35
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oooh- I like that saying. I married the right man, then, because I DO hope my DS turns out to be exactly like him.
Ditto.
Same here. My DH is a hard-working, supportive and all-around nice guy - sincerely hope our son is just like him.
Anonymous
10/25/2011 19:16
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
Anonymous wrote:Does the same advice apply to men looking for women?
I don't see why not. If you are dating a woman with qualities you would be disappointed or ashamed of in a future daughter/child then you should probably noy be having children with that person.
Anonymous
10/25/2011 19:05
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
Anonymous wrote:Oooh- I like that saying. I married the right man, then, because I DO hope my DS turns out to be exactly like him.
Ditto.
Anonymous
10/25/2011 18:58
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
Does the same advice apply to men looking for women?
Anonymous
10/25/2011 13:23
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
I love my DH and we have three wonderful DSs. However, I do worry a little about the genes in both of our largers families. We have family members on both sides with multiple sclerosis, autism, OCD, and who are weird.
DH complains about his parents a lot (and I get where he's coming from) and I hope our DSs don't do this as adults as much. Also DH has borderline depression and would not wish that on our DSs or their future wives.
No one is perfect. DH is very smart, genuine, fiercely independent, and brave. He is a great dad. I guess I'd be happy if all three boys were like him.
DH complains about his parents a lot (and I get where he's coming from) and I hope our DSs don't do this as adults as much. Also DH has borderline depression and would not wish that on our DSs or their future wives.
No one is perfect. DH is very smart, genuine, fiercely independent, and brave. He is a great dad. I guess I'd be happy if all three boys were like him.
Anonymous
10/25/2011 13:04
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
You shouldn't have children with someone who has any traits you could not abide in a child or who has a collection of traits that is as a group not desirable. We all have flaws and a lot of those flaws come from some genetic contribution. So you can't pick someone as a parent who is perfect but you can and should keep the question in mind.
By the way, I would expand beyond the father. If the entire family is nuts and only the would-be father is sane, I would worry about the gene pool.
By the way, I would expand beyond the father. If the entire family is nuts and only the would-be father is sane, I would worry about the gene pool.
Anonymous
10/25/2011 11:13
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
If my son turns out exactly like his father, except he replaces the toilet paper roll when it is empty, then I will be very happy and proud.
Anonymous
10/25/2011 11:08
Subject: Re:"Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
I have three boys and would love for all of them to be just like DH. I have a short temper and my confidence wanes at times. DH is solid, understanding, and just an overall happy person.
So, I agree completely with the statement that OP found!
So, I agree completely with the statement that OP found!
Anonymous
10/25/2011 10:36
Subject: "Don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him."
NP here. It's nice to read about all of these great husbands! So many of the posts on this forum are women that have lost respect for their husbands/a spouse is cheating...nice to read some positive things.