my son also had a very significant complication from his circumcision. i had no idea this could happen (or how common it actually is) and in retrospect really regret not researching circumcision more and seeing it as more of a choice, rather than just going ahead without questioning it. i regret having it done to him. for any future sons i will not have them circumcised.

Anonymous wrote:My husband had a doormate who had it done in college and it was a horrible experience so he strongly wanted us to do it when they were younger and it wasn't as major of a surgery.

We can all agree, I suspect, that having it done as a grown man is worse than as an infant.

Still, I don't understand this reasoning. The chances of getting it done as an adult are infinitesimal. I wouldn't have it done as an infant to avoid the extremely small chance of having it done later.

My son unfortunately developed a serious complication after his circumcision that left us mortified. Thankfully he won't have any long-term issues, but the experience scared us enough to not consider it for our next son.

My husband had a doormate who had it done in college and it was a horrible experience so he strongly wanted us to do it when they were younger and it wasn't as major of a surgery.

Both of our boys are. No issues. First was mohel although we are not jewish but it had to be done after we left the hospital and second in the hospital. Both recovered very quickly, I witnessed the first and he barely cried, second was done in the nursery but he was bought back to me right away. Both had local pain medicaion. My husband decided. Current rate is around 50% but different some cultures do it more frequently than others. Hispanic population is less likely to have kids circumcised and same with Europeans. These debates can get pretty heated..

Anonymous wrote:I don't know from experience, but I have heard that sex can be more pleasurable for the male and female when the male is not circumcised. Obviously you aren't thinking of this as much when your child is being born, but I feel like it is worth considering for the reason that a previous poster mentioned about not making this decision for someone else. It should be a personal choice.

DH is circumcised, not religious, but feels because of the hygeine factor and "locker room" factor that our hypothetical son should be circumcised. DH also says because he is a male and has a penis, he should have more of a say on this. Thoughts??

This is silly, but now I'm hoping we have a girl so I don't have to decide.

Some men think they get to decide because they have a penis and some don't. My DH did not think it gave him special power.

I don't really understand the argument. If there is something you need to know about how a penis operates that you don't know, your husband can tell you. He has never had an uncircumcised penis so he hasn't experienced both.

Most uncircumcised boys and men have no hygiene issues. Most doctors aren't endorsing circumcision for American boys on hygiene grounds. A lot of those doctors have penises.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children's grandmother is a pediatrician, and my mother's best friend is a nurse for a urologist, and their professional opinions tipped us towards circumcision. I was very open-minded about the question, being a homebirthing, homeschooling, alternative vaccinating, chiropractor-visiting mother, but I am confident in my decision.

OP, if you do decide to do it, I would strongly, STRONGLY urge you to use a mohel. There are some doctors who are also mohels, and there are some rabbis who are superb mohels. We used Rabbi Raphael Malka for our last two sons, and my MIL was present for one of the circumcisions, and she admitted that though she has done thousands herself, she could not match his skill. Our boys did not cry and healed perfectly, beautifully within a day or so.

Rabbi Malka is extremely experienced, and truly a gem of a man. My boys were born right around 38 weeks, so even at 8 days old, the retractions were a little tricky, but Rabbi handled it, no trouble or hesitation. Just an amazing experience.

BTW, we are Catholic, not Jewish, and my MIL is Hindu, and we all really enjoyed his company.

I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your son.

Where was the procedure performed? If you use the Rabbi, does that mean you have to wait until after you're home from the hospital?

Both times we had Rabbi Malka, we just did it on our kitchen table But there are some mohels who are also MDs, with hospital privileges, who will also make home visits. They just come to your house and do it where you are comfortable.

I don't know from experience, but I have heard that sex can be more pleasurable for the male and female when the male is not circumcised. Obviously you aren't thinking of this as much when your child is being born, but I feel like it is worth considering for the reason that a previous poster mentioned about not making this decision for someone else. It should be a personal choice.

DH is circumcised, not religious, but feels because of the hygeine factor and "locker room" factor that our hypothetical son should be circumcised. DH also says because he is a male and has a penis, he should have more of a say on this. Thoughts??

This is silly, but now I'm hoping we have a girl so I don't have to decide.

OP here - thanks for all the thoughtful responses so far! I know there's a lot to read on the internet on this topic, but it's so helpful to hear from real people how they made their decisions.

Anonymous wrote:My children's grandmother is a pediatrician, and my mother's best friend is a nurse for a urologist, and their professional opinions tipped us towards circumcision. I was very open-minded about the question, being a homebirthing, homeschooling, alternative vaccinating, chiropractor-visiting mother, but I am confident in my decision.

OP, if you do decide to do it, I would strongly, STRONGLY urge you to use a mohel. There are some doctors who are also mohels, and there are some rabbis who are superb mohels. We used Rabbi Raphael Malka for our last two sons, and my MIL was present for one of the circumcisions, and she admitted that though she has done thousands herself, she could not match his skill. Our boys did not cry and healed perfectly, beautifully within a day or so.

Rabbi Malka is extremely experienced, and truly a gem of a man. My boys were born right around 38 weeks, so even at 8 days old, the retractions were a little tricky, but Rabbi handled it, no trouble or hesitation. Just an amazing experience.

BTW, we are Catholic, not Jewish, and my MIL is Hindu, and we all really enjoyed his company.

I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your son.

Where was the procedure performed? If you use the Rabbi, does that mean you have to wait until after you're home from the hospital?

Anonymous wrote:Whether you are Jewish or not, use a mohel. The procedure with a mohel is less than 2 minutes and in the hospital it is a 20-40 min procedure

11:19 again, to emphasize this even more. So many of the aspects of circumcision that were most offensive and concerning to me were simply not an issue for a mohel.

Rabbi Malka explained it like this: he HAS to do it, because of religious reasons, at a certain time, or, when it is done later in life due to conversion, under all kinds of circumstances. He has done adults in Africa, babies in hospitals, teens all around the world. That means he has had to learn to hone his skills under a variety of settings. He regaled my MIL with tons of anecdotes, which I finally stopped listening to, because they were very...medical.

My sons were in their father's arms, in our home. They did not wince, except for the initial retraction. They nursed immediately and contentedly afterwards. They literally did not bleed after the first diaper change. Rabbi has a very specific protocol to follow, to ensure a fast, clean, virtually painless healing, and he calls several times to check on you.

If you choose to do this, go with the best, even if you have to pay out of pocket. It does not have to be the institutionalized, awful, assembly-line, strapped-down hospital experience. There are actually medical benefits to waiting a week, as you would for a bris. You don't need to rush it right after birth. You can wait until breastfeeding is established and you are cozy at home.

Up to you!

We did it.

A friend didn't do it with her first. He husband isn't and it is partly cultural not to do so. However she chose to do it with her second because she realized with her first that the hygiene part was hard. He didn't like her cleaning it and was still not old enough to be responsible himself. So she decided to do it with hers second to save the hassle.

As far as risks there are risks either way. If you do it they can screw it up, have an adhesion and so forth. On the other side i had a friend who had to have it done at 5yrs old because he wasn't washing properly and got an infection.

Good luck it is a tough decision.

Whether you are Jewish or not, use a mohel. The procedure with a mohel is less than 2 minutes and in the hospital it is a 20-40 min procedure

Anonymous wrote:If you are circumcisd you have less chance of getting STDs and AIDS. It is also more sanitary and easier to take care of. The pain is negligable and my kids barely made a noise when it happened.

1. The pain is not negligible. Not making a sound does not mean there is not pain. Common sense alone should tell you that it is painful, as the foreskin is fused to the glans at birth as the fingernail is fused to the nail bed. Plus there is a bloody, scabby oozing open wound that touches urine and feces for several days. I would not call that negligible.

2. The AIDS studies done in Africa are not necessarily applicable to the U.S., which already has a very high rate of circumcision and did at the time that the disease showed up here. Most HIV transmission here is male to male sex and from shared needles; circumcision does not protect against either of those forms of transmission. Female to male transmission is relatively rare here and, hello, condoms are what is most protective in any event. Do we really want to be sending the message that if you are circumcised you have a get out of jail free card when it comes to STDs and don't need to use condoms or be monogamous? If it eliminated the risk then I could see considering it as an STD prevention tool but it is only a moderate risk reduction.

3. It would be easier to take care of and more sanitary for women not to have labia minora too. It's called soap and water. It's not rocket science.

Perhaps there are good reasons for people to have this procedure done but these are not those reasons.

It is not a risk free procedure. I did not see the need to perform a procedure that was medically unnecessary that carried some risks.

The circumcision rate is declining in this country. A recent statistic shows that it is down to 32.5% in 2009.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/17/u-s-circumcision-rates-on-the-decline/

circumcisiondecisionmaker.com is an interesting tool to go through the different arguments and reasons why or why not to have it done.

Good luck with your decision.