Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? A Janitor? You're a bitch.

Oh, please. You're just a smug, self-righteous bitch. As if you would run around telling all of your friends in Bethesday that you're husband is a janitor.

OP was actively hiding her husband from her friends. That is just disgraceful.

Anonymous wrote:Really? A Janitor? You're a bitch.

Oh, please. You're just a smug, self-righteous bitch. As if you would run around telling all of your friends in Bethesday that you're husband is a janitor.

I don't want a farm - I worked on a farm and it was the hardest damn thing I've ever done - way harder than being a lawyer.

My fantasy is to default on my loans, quit my job and be a SAHM, and make my husband give up his crummy hobby career for a real job that pays. My husband stays at home now and I resent him for it. Of course I could never say that or let anyone know. I'm the one with the student loan debt and the big degree because I was so damn passionate. I'm the one with the earning potential and ability to give the family good insurance. What the hell does a 23 year old know about the rest of her life where 150K in loans is concerned? Nada.

But every day I kiss my little boy goodbye and go to work and fantasize about turning in my notice and never looking back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fantasy is to leave my family and run away to some little snowy northern town and support myself as a janitor or a groundskeeper. I'm a UVa trained female lawyer , married 15 years with 3 kids, and I'm mommy tracked. I know, weird.

DH's fantasy is to get job as a janitor at some northern college for the benefits and so the kids will have a spot at the school. I told him, times being what they are they probably don't do that anymore, but it's still what he wants to do when he retires.

Me, I want a farm.

I work for a university and education for family members is covered (which is why I will never quit) but they still have to be accepted. For us, the benefit doesn't kick in until 5 years of employment though, so plan ahead.

I am not a therapist, but if you were ashamed of your husband's job he had to have known that. He may have cheated on you because he found someone who didn't look down on him.

As an FYI, I am not condoning his cheating as I believe that if you are that unhappy you should 1st try to fix what is broken and then if that doesn't work, it is better to divorce and once divorced you are free to find someone to be with.

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to know if all the people judging the OP are also married to janitors or people in comparable positions.

What difference would that make?

Actually, my fantasy involves working for some small-town school system making $30-$35k as one of the computer guys. (I'm a Linux sysadmin right now.)

I'm a nanny, DH is in IT and most of our friends are either IT or MDs with a few lawyers in the mix. Unfortunately a few folks in our circles still get awkward around us and don't know how to interact and I laugh with myself deep inside because this is such a stupid thing to worry about. Like any other person in the group I know how to talk politics, economics, hobbies and even children! LOL

Anyway, I have 2 bachelor's and and a masters degree from 2 different countries, I speak 3 (learning 4) languages and still people can't see past what I do for a living at this moment. I used to get upset, you know? But now I know that this is a good thing... kind of a "natural selection" of the kind of people really worthy keeping around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fantasy is to leave my family and run away to some little snowy northern town and support myself as a janitor or a groundskeeper. I'm a UVa trained female lawyer , married 15 years with 3 kids, and I'm mommy tracked. I know, weird.

DH's fantasy is to get job as a janitor at some northern college for the benefits and so the kids will have a spot at the school. I told him, times being what they are they probably don't do that anymore, but it's still what he wants to do when he retires.

Me, I want a farm.

You and your DH sound like great down to earth people. I would look into it. There may still be schools that do this. I wish that people at my kids school whose DH do blue collar jobs would be more open about it. Every one can't be a doctor or a lawyer--and besides with so many of them in this town people are just crazily jealous/hateful of those professions until they need a good one.

Anonymous wrote:My fantasy is to leave my family and run away to some little snowy northern town and support myself as a janitor or a groundskeeper. I'm a UVa trained female lawyer , married 15 years with 3 kids, and I'm mommy tracked. I know, weird.

DH's fantasy is to get job as a janitor at some northern college for the benefits and so the kids will have a spot at the school. I told him, times being what they are they probably don't do that anymore, but it's still what he wants to do when he retires.

Me, I want a farm.

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to know if all the people judging the OP are also married to janitors or people in comparable positions.

I agree. It's easy to judge OP, but unless you've been in the same position, you never know how you would feel. The DC area is so competitive and I think it would be somewhat tough to be married to someone whose job, right or wrong, is not one society typically admires. DH is a lobbyist. I am very grateful that his career provides us with a great lifestyle, however, even on these boards, people often think lobbyists are "scum." Sometimes, it would be nice to be able to say "DH is a pediatric cardiologist."

My fantasy is to leave my family and run away to some little snowy northern town and support myself as a janitor or a groundskeeper. I'm a UVa trained female lawyer , married 15 years with 3 kids, and I'm mommy tracked. I know, weird.

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to know if all the people judging the OP are also married to janitors or people in comparable positions.

My husband's in construction. My Stepfather worked as a janitor and it's what he was doing when he met my mother. He started at a new company where he was made a supervisor and now is the regional manager of operations in Maryland. It's nice to see that all of his hard work is finally paying off, but we were just as proud of him when he was *only* a janitor.

I'd love to know if all the people judging the OP are also married to janitors or people in comparable positions.

Jim Carrey was once a janitor. So were Stephen King, one of the guys on the Fortune 400 , and one of the physicists who determined the size of the Universe with Hubble.