Anonymous wrote:If you don't notice your child is stoned, why would a teacher or a coach? It's not like being drunk, with the tell-tale signs of slurred words; stumbling gait; odor of booze. Students and parents should take responsibility and not try to slough everything off on schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the boys clear that there is a zero-tolerance policy in place? So there's a drug-alcohol program freshmen year, any formal discussion beyond that?

Also, are the boys in upper school required to sign a zero-tolerance policy statement? Seriously, does the school really assume that the boys are reading the handbook? I doubt that most parents would even bother reading that handbook, unless their son was in trouble.

I don't believe the school has an umbrella public-school style "zero tolerance" policy, so no, the students don't sign such a statement. I do believe that each year they are explicitly reminded at the beginning of the school year that use of drugs on campus can result, and has in the past resulted, in separation from the school. (The school appears to treat illegal drug use as a more serious offense than under-age drinking.) In the case of the boarders that has been mentioned, the students were using drugs on campus on a dorm room. They were asked to leave the school but were allowed to reapply the next academic year. One boy did re-apply and was re-admitted but unfortunately got into trouble with the same drug the next year and did not finish out the school year.

As the prior post mentioned, the school counselor addresses addiction/substance abuse issues periodically and beyond the freshman year, and drugs and drinking are also discussed in the chapel program, sometimes by faculty sometimes by students who are sharing their own "lessons learned" via their own or family member's experience.

It's not a perfect place but they are doing their best and seem to balance an institutional interest in discipline with compassion for an individual (especially through inviting troubled students to seek help from a chaplain). I'm sure it is still very upsetting for any family whose child gets caught up in a drugs/drinking-related disciplinary situation, and that there is a lot of soul-searching and questioning whether earlier intervention opportunities from family or school may have gone unnoticed.

As some prior posters have noted, this can be a tough situation for a school. When is a kid just a spacey, absent-minded kid, and when is that kid a stoned kid? If it is the former, imagine the fall-out for a teacher or coach to report a suspiciion of drug use to parents. I would think many parents would respond ferociously and angrily to a perceived slur on their child's reputation. Certainly parents at schools around town have been known to threaten to sue over discipline for accusations of cheating, for example. So, bottom line . . . just a tricky issue.

Really, threaten to file suit ? On what grounds? If a school reports to a parent ," your child's behavior has changed over the past few months in that he now acts inapropriate at times, seems to loose focus and is withdrawn" " Are they any medical reasons for this that we should know about?" How is that grounds to file a law suit?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a disturbing thread in that it contains references to clearly identifiable individuals and circumstances. Can we have this discussion and preserve their privacy?

Agreed. I'm one of the PPs that made inappropriate references in my replies. Excuse me, I certainly didn't mean any additional harm or disrespect towards the individuals involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the boys clear that there is a zero-tolerance policy in place? So there's a drug-alcohol program freshmen year, any formal discussion beyond that?

Also, are the boys in upper school required to sign a zero-tolerance policy statement? Seriously, does the school really assume that the boys are reading the handbook? I doubt that most parents would even bother reading that handbook, unless their son was in trouble.

I don't believe the school has an umbrella public-school style "zero tolerance" policy, so no, the students don't sign such a statement. I do believe that each year they are explicitly reminded at the beginning of the school year that use of drugs on campus can result, and has in the past resulted, in separation from the school. (The school appears to treat illegal drug use as a more serious offense than under-age drinking.) In the case of the boarders that has been mentioned, the students were using drugs on campus on a dorm room. They were asked to leave the school but were allowed to reapply the next academic year. One boy did re-apply and was re-admitted but unfortunately got into trouble with the same drug the next year and did not finish out the school year.

As the prior post mentioned, the school counselor addresses addiction/substance abuse issues periodically and beyond the freshman year, and drugs and drinking are also discussed in the chapel program, sometimes by faculty sometimes by students who are sharing their own "lessons learned" via their own or family member's experience.

It's not a perfect place but they are doing their best and seem to balance an institutional interest in discipline with compassion for an individual (especially through inviting troubled students to seek help from a chaplain). I'm sure it is still very upsetting for any family whose child gets caught up in a drugs/drinking-related disciplinary situation, and that there is a lot of soul-searching and questioning whether earlier intervention opportunities from family or school may have gone unnoticed.

As some prior posters have noted, this can be a tough situation for a school. When is a kid just a spacey, absent-minded kid, and when is that kid a stoned kid? If it is the former, imagine the fall-out for a teacher or coach to report a suspiciion of drug use to parents. I would think many parents would respond ferociously and angrily to a perceived slur on their child's reputation. Certainly parents at schools around town have been known to threaten to sue over discipline for accusations of cheating, for example. So, bottom line . . . just a tricky issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA is "an intimate community that thrives on close relationships between faculty and students."

This statement comports with my observations. Of course, just as prior posters have acknowledged, even in the intimate setting of a family and despite the rather close relationships between parents and children, sometimes a parent may not be aware of a child's drug use. So I don't hold schools to a higher standard than my own family and assume they will always know something even if I don't (and keeping my fingers crossed I am speaking hypothetically so far as my own family is concerned!).

Some of the expelled students were routinely on drugs (pot, etc) during the school & practice day. Noticeably high, according to some of the stories coming from both my daughter and her STA friends, the school for some reason did nothing. The classmates-brothers said nothing. I suppose their teachers and coaches just ignored their suspicions for fear of getting sued.

Intimate setting, I guess so. There are roughly 14-18 boys in a classroom, and 77-80 in a graduating class so I would think that they know each others behavior/quirks rather well as would teacher-coaches.

Anonymous wrote:This is a disturbing thread in that it contains references to clearly identifiable individuals and circumstances. Can we have this discussion and preserve their privacy?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA is "an intimate community that thrives on close relationships between faculty and students."

This statement comports with my observations. Of course, just as prior posters have acknowledged, even in the intimate setting of a family and despite the rather close relationships between parents and children, sometimes a parent may not be aware of a child's drug use. So I don't hold schools to a higher standard than my own family and assume they will always know something even if I don't (and keeping my fingers crossed I am speaking hypothetically so far as my own family is concerned!).

Anonymous wrote:STA is "an intimate community that thrives on close relationships between faculty and students."

Anonymous wrote:Are the boys clear that there is a zero-tolerance policy in place? So there's a drug-alcohol program freshmen year, any formal discussion beyond that?

Also, are the boys in upper school required to sign a zero-tolerance policy statement? Seriously, does the school really assume that the boys are reading the handbook? I doubt that most parents would even bother reading that handbook, unless their son was in trouble.

Anonymous wrote:I think its interesting to know how schools handle these issues. At my (private) high school, drugs of any kind in any quantity would get you expelled immediately. Everyone knew this. Drinking, on the other hand, would get you put on probation. A second offense would probably get you kicked out.

I'm curious to know what people think. I am inclined towards a "zero tolerance" policy on drugs. I think that kind of clear, bright harsh line provides most kids with the excuse they need to decline - the consequences are just too great. I also don't think the school should be getting involved in treating substance abuse issues, which are incredibly difficult to resolve with even the best rehab. Kicking the kid out & handing him/her over to parents seems like the best approach. But I'd love to hear how other people think about this.....