Anonymous wrote:Most people in this country are superficial.hey how are you, ok take care bye and that's it.

I find this to be true as well - you can navigate within that space for years after you've met someone. You always feel as if you're starting from scratch each time you run into someone here. Or, they pretend they don't see you, or give you a fake half smile. There's definitely a control issue when it comes to making friends in this country. You get the sense that relationships are not as valued outside of the nuclear family. What about when you get divorce, kids move away, spouses dies; friends can be the greatest asset you invest in. But there's alway this glass wall.

I'm open to it but I don't have that many close friends from those years when my daughter was young. Like many, I found it hard to connect. I don't have the close friendships I used to have in grad school. But I'm open to trying now that dd has grown up!

I am open to making new friends. However, I realize how hard it is unless you have something in common with a potential friend. My current batch of friends are those I work with as well as parents I met at the school during the variety of social events that occur (back to school night, PTA meetings, etc.) It is hard, but worth it to keep trying.

It is funny to hear all the people who say it is difficult to meet new people here as I have found the opposite to be true. There are so many transient people and others like you who are new to the area and looking for a friend, that I feel it is very easy to meet new people to socialize with in the DC metro area.

I lived in Richmond, VA for a number of years and THAT is a place where it is hard to meet new people as most either grew up or attended a local university and were not open to socializing outside of their already established social group.

Most people in this country are superficial.hey how are you, ok take care bye and that's it.

I moved here two years ago, and I have yet to make a single friend. I have loads of acquaintances, get invited to parties and a few dinners, but most of the time conversations are superficial, and the friendships never develop further than whatever interest we are sharing at the time. I SAH, and I do a lot of volunteering, so I've met loads of people, but I have not developed any good friends.

Recently, I met a woman about 10 years older than I, and she told me she's finally realized that you have to keep making friends no matter how old you are. People who give up are going to be in trouble as their friends move away (as many of hers have due to retirement) or die out. She was preparing to move to Florida where her husband wants to retire, and where she knows no one.

If I'm perfectly honest with myself, I am not open to making new friends, even though I'm lonely and want to make friends. It is so exhausting to meet new people, to go through all the getting to know you stuff, and I'm so bogged down and tired with all my family responsibilities that I simply don't have the energy to put into reaching out to people and making new friends. Sad, yes, but that's how things are at the moment. I suppose I'll start reaching out more when the kids go to college, but at the moment, I'm tired, depressed and lonely!

I'm always open to new friends, but I'm not willing to invest time in a relationship with someone who is full of drama or is not a down-to-earth kind of person, which is what I look for in a friend.

Yes, I always try to have friends of every age ... young, middle-aged and elderly. I figure one can never have enough friends.

What's that old Brownie's song... "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold!"

I do think it is hard to meet new people here. Reading this post, and this forum, I have come to appreciate the people who have reached out to me over the years when we have more differences than things in common. Really mostly b/c of DC, who is still young. But I do feel that different age groups think and feel very different things, and they relate differently. Some times gaps in communication. Old friends and family are still the closest for me. I am open to new friends, and I do reach out, but I feel the gap in closeness at times.

I find that if I meet someone through a common interest, like my craft hobby, then I am more open. But meeting at a party or meeting other moms is much more iffy- parties are fun a the moment and often it's the wine helping with the small talk, and other moms are well, you know, just other moms. But i usually have much more luck making deep connections through my craft hobby (i'm a potter).

Yes, I'm open to new friends and I've made some close friends over the last few years.

I'm open to new friends, yes - though not to anybody who would use the word hag to describe anyone in my age group. Sheesh, PP.

"Funny because the topic of work is the very topic that I avoid in conversations that I have on school grounds, soccer fields. It is usually the younger mothers who like talking about work and how important they are. "

Funny, it'd hags like you who like taking about how great you are as a mother.

Yes. I meet new people constantly. I would say that I extend invitatations to do things - have a drink, playdate, meet, kid or adult party - to about 2 new people a month on average. I have consistently added one or two actual friends through this process every year (and tons of good acquantainces that form my community and make my days easier and more pleasant). Of course, some of these friendships wane at times, but many have slowed down for a while only to speed back up at later times when life is hitting us both a little differently. For me, continuing to make new friends is essential to my happiness.

Anonymous wrote:At this stage in your life are you happy with the friends you already have? Are you pleasant to new people you meet but don't want to make the effort to get to know them any more than superficially?
I ask because I am relatively new to DC (from Europe) and I find that many women I meet that are my age are very open and friendly when we meet but don't seem to want to take the friendship beyond the superficial level even if we meet on a fairly regular basis such as kid's school or church. As a result, while I have made friends, they are mostly on average 5-15 years my junior. I sometimes crave the friendships of women of a similar age to me but it seems they are more settled in the friendships they already have.

What say you?

I am always open to meet new friends.

I am totally open to new friends bit I have trouble finding friends who are my age (29) with kids, and who share my values, which are not traditional for the dc area. I find myself meeting people and censoring myself, my thoughts, feeling ashamed of my house (condo in a shitty neighborhood) etc. This area is hard for meeting new friends.