Anonymous
Post 09/29/2011 07:37     Subject: Re:Vent
Is this basement bedroom a "legal" bedroom--does it have the proper size windows/exit, a closet, etc. to make it legally habitable by the county/city regulations? I would find out for sure, and make sure NONE OF THEM sleep down there if it isn't.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2011 07:20     Subject: Re:Vent
I think you can appeal directly to the court, if you are uncomfortable with this
I think it's unacceptable
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2011 07:03     Subject: Vent
OP, is this a done deal? Have they actually bought the house? This plan seems like the sort of think you try to talk yourself into when you're looking -- "Oh, the extra 20 minutes of commute time each way won't bother me! Oh, we won't need much storage space once we declutter! Oh, I can shower with a hose in the back yard!" -- that you realize, in the cold light of day, won't actually work.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2011 07:00     Subject: Re:Vent
Even if this were three boys, the notion that they share a room rules out any socializing on the weekends. It also rules out quiet study and project-type homework. They can't invite friends over. They can't spread out. They can't do quiet work. They can't rest. They are on top of each other, constantly. It's just a bad idea.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2011 05:30     Subject: Vent
OP, this situation is unacceptable. It makes me sad just thinking about the message this is sending to your kids, particularly your daughter.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 22:19     Subject: Vent
These children are spending approx 12 nights a month at their father's house. This is almost 50% of their time. The deserve slightly better accommodations that 1 room for 3 teens! Maybe the new wife is doing this on purpose and wants to see less of OPs kids now that they are teens.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 20:51     Subject: Vent
Talking to a lawyer is always an option but it gets expensive. A few calls with OP, a few emails and a call to his lawyer, you're looking at $2,000 or more. DC/Bethesda lawyers are charing $400 and up!

The 12-year-old should have her own space (and NOT share with the 3-year-old!) but is it quiet upstairs? Children of divorce often get lower grades because of setups that don't keep their interests at heart. Maybe there can be a study room downstairs and she can sleep upstairs.

If this were two boys sleeping downstairs, it would be fine. I'm livid on your behalf, OP!
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 20:20     Subject: Re:Vent
OP I don't think this is appropriate. I'd talk to your lawyer. Perhaps the custody arrangements need to change as a result of your husband's inability to provide them with appropriate overnight accomodations. And of course, absent overnights, the child custody ratio changes and thus he has to pay you more in child support. Which he can afford to do now that he and new wifey have "downsized".

Your children should not be treated as an afterthough. I am a child of divorce and I'd feel pretty shitty if my dad and his wife did that to me.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 20:17     Subject: Re:Vent
Why can't the 12 year old just sleep with the 3 year old on the nights she's there OR the 3 year old sleep with the 5 year old so the 12 year old has her own space when she's there.

It's ridiculous the younger children have to have their own space but the older kids all have to sleep together when they need the most privacy.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 20:15     Subject: Vent
Anonymous wrote:I get your point, but the other options are to put a 5 YO DS in the basement (probably young for that) or put your 12 YO daughter in with a 3 YO if they can both fit in the third bedroom.

Could the basement be partitioned to create a separate bedroom for DD?


So? A five-yr old can't sleep in the basement? Bull.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 20:12     Subject: Vent
Anonymous wrote:I am Venting...


My husband and his wife (we have been divorced for 10 years, they have been married for 5 and have 2 dc, 3DD and 5DS) are "downsizing" from a 5 bedroom house to a 3/4 bedroom house closer in. I am just frustrated because the 4th bedroom - where my 3 DC (12 DD, 14DS, 15DS) will all have to share a bedroom that is in the basement of this new house. It has its own bathroom which is a plus but DAMN FOR SOME REASON THIS MAKES ME ANGRY. Especially for my 12 DD... she shouldnt have to spend 2x a week and every other weekend sharing a room with her brothers. Does this seem unfair to anyone else? I feel like my kids are being treated like 2nd class citizens in what should be considered their own home. His says he does not want the older kids in the same room as the younger kids because of noise/bedtime issues. Am I being unreasonable in that I think his 3 and 5 yo should share a room so my DD can have her own space?


No, you are not being unreasonable. A 12-yr DD should NOT be sharing a bedroom with a male, no matter the relationship. He can put his brats with 2nd wife downstairs and give this young girl the privacy she needs. I would raise holy hell about this and, if necessary, refuse to let her stay overnight.
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 20:03     Subject: Vent
I'm sure dd would want privacy-esp during her period, but she would probably be too embarassed to say so to her dad and older brothers!
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 20:00     Subject: Vent
I think it would be hard during the school week. Do you live close enough that he could see them during the week but they don't have to stay over?
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 19:49     Subject: Vent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you calling him your husband if you have been divorced for 10 years and he's remarried?


Do you always have this much trouble focusing on the main topic in a paragraph? Bet that made taking your SATs hard, hunh?


No. To me, it goes a long way toward explaining part of her anger. "My" husband- obviously she still feels some sort of possessiveness over the situation and thinks she should have a say. She shouldn't. It's THEIR house. Do the kids even mind? What exactly would she have them do, cut back on her child support so they can buy a bigger house so her kids can each have their own bedroom while they're there?
Anonymous
Post 09/28/2011 19:05     Subject: Vent
Anonymous wrote:Why are you calling him your husband if you have been divorced for 10 years and he's remarried?


I am wondering the same exact thing...weird