Listen to your heart. I am one of 4. I loved having a brother and sisters. It was so nice having both. Saying this, we plan on having 4 kids. We have a boy, we have a girl due at the end of the year and we would like to adopt a boy and a girl. It seems like the perfect family for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you asked--no, not really.

What is the reason to have a second?

It's a way of building responsibility in the older one. First-born kids are usually more successful, leaders, etc, etc...

Blow me.
signed,
youngest and most successful of 3 siblings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you asked--no, not really.

What is the reason to have a second?

It's a way of building responsibility in the older one. First-born kids are usually more successful, leaders, etc, etc...

Wow. Your younger child must feel *really* valued.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you asked--no, not really.

What is the reason to have a second?

It's a way of building responsibility in the older one. First-born kids are usually more successful, leaders, etc, etc...

If you are big travelers a third child could be a deal breaker for so many logistical reasons.

Our two are old enought to travel without gear and we are still young enough to go with relatively young kids without being worn out. We went on some of our first big vacations (cross country, out of country, etc.) this summer since firstborn was a baby. Second child is 3.5, oldest is 6.

If we had a third there would be no more big vacations for pain in the a**/logisitcal reasons--baby gear, baby naptimes (killer for sightseeing, etc), baby exhaustion for many, many years. Love being relatively footless and fancy-free and no desire to go back to babies. This, of course, isn't the prime reason for not having a third...prime reason is DH and I both can only take a certain level of chaos and both require a certain degree of alone time. This, coupled with the fact the two we have get along so great, is the reaon we are stopping while ahead. We are bucking the recent trend of 3+ kids in our area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you love parenting.

That's a selfish reason for sure. No need to think of the kids, how it impacts them in any way. Do it because of your wants, solely.

I'm not the PP but you must be having a bad day.

People who love parenting love it because of their feelings for the children, because of their desire to do things for the children.

Anonymous wrote:Because you love parenting.

That's a selfish reason for sure. No need to think of the kids, how it impacts them in any way. Do it because of your wants, solely.

We are planning to have a third because we want one. Ironically, our first two are hard enough that we don't see how having third could be that much harder. Some parents of three will say, yes and some will say it is much harder. You don't know until you do it.

OP - you either want a 3rd or you don't. That's all there is to it. For me, the reason to have a 3rd child was TO HAVE A 3RD CHILD. I wanted that little person, whoever s/he turned out to be - unconditionally. Turns out, I ended up with a little sweetie that is beyond belief and I cannot imagine our family without him.

Yes, many of your concerns are founded. It's more expensive - particularly childcare. It's hard to reset. It's hard to still have a baby when many of my friends are moving beyond babyhood and on to other things. It's hard to balance the schedule of my older DCs when I have a baby schedule to worry about too. Plane tickets are more expensive and we needed to get a bigger vehicle. Still, it was all absolutely worth it. But, then again, I didn't doubt it would be.

Anonymous wrote:I have one and only ever wanted one. To the poster who talks about how great her kids play together. That is great. For you. Not everyone's experience is that way. I had a terrible relationship with my sibling and I have several friends who have hair curling sibling rivalry problems. So you are just as likely to get kids who are close as kids who fight like cats and dogs. Personally, when I spend time with families whose kids do not get along, I thank god for my one who sits next to me on sat mornings with her needle point or plays her ds while I am Internet surfing and we eat breakfast together. Seriously. Sometimes a sibling is not a gift.

It sounds like OP can't make the jump to three for many of the same reasons I won't have 2. Don't do it unless you just know it is right for you.

I'm that pp...and I totally agree! My sister has 3 boys and the first two fought like cats and dogs. My older sister and brother also fought a TON growing up (less than 2 yrs apart)--ironically, as adults, they have a very close relationship. It really is a personality thing that you have absolutely zero control over.

I am lucky for now.

Because you love parenting.

OP, like you, I'm hoping that the feeling goes away. I have 2 wonderful kids. I love parenting small children, but I just don't think I have the energy for another one, and I'm sure that DH does not. This is my conclusion before I even begin to think about the financial ramifications.

I have one and only ever wanted one. To the poster who talks about how great her kids play together. That is great. For you. Not everyone's experience is that way. I had a terrible relationship with my sibling and I have several friends who have hair curling sibling rivalry problems. So you are just as likely to get kids who are close as kids who fight like cats and dogs. Personally, when I spend time with families whose kids do not get along, I thank god for my one who sits next to me on sat mornings with her needle point or plays her ds while I am Internet surfing and we eat breakfast together. Seriously. Sometimes a sibling is not a gift.

It sounds like OP can't make the jump to three for many of the same reasons I won't have 2. Don't do it unless you just know it is right for you.

I'd like a third for some primal reason, though it's unlikely to happen given my age. However, I somehow feel a little guilty about even hoping for a third -- like it's greedy somehow.

I have one, plan to have two, can't imagine having three, but that doesn't mean it isn't the right thing for you.

I have a friend who just had her third boy and the MAIN reason she had a third was to have a girl. When she found out, she was visibly devastated and made no qualms about saying that she really wanted a girl. This is a case of a couple who really can barely afford a 3rd child.

I don't know the sex of your two children but if the reason for a 3rd is solely to try for a certain gender, this is a bad reason. But if gender doesn't matter and you can afford it, I would say that if you want three, go for it.