Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dress codes are necessary, becasue most parents let their kids leave the house in clothes only appropriate for a hooker.

Agree.

Dress codes also take the competition out of dressing. Everyone will look bad, which IMO, is fine for middle school.

I prefer to teach my kids that "competing" in dress is a useless, shallow activity, and that she should dress to please herself only. A big part of growing up is thinking about what message you're projecting by your actions and comportment, and when and why to follow and break the rules. It's my job to teach that to my child, not the school's. Most of these posts above strike me as the kind of thing that look to get the school to do what is really a parent's job.

I have no problem telling my child that she can't leave the house wearing ..... flip flops, sequins, rhinestones, midriff-exposing shirts, anything in cheesy satin, Crocs, anything with a logo, Uggs, layers of jewelry or excessive makeup, cheesy princess or daddy's girl shirts, etc. Some of those violate the dress code, some of them don't, but all of them represent family values of ours (others may be different, which we respect) that I have no problem imposing on my own child no matter how much she whines. When other girls show up in Uggs to school, and my child begs for them, I explain why I think it's ridiculous to spend $100 on boots for a 3rd graders, and my child and I explore other options. I don't expect the school to ban Uggs. If my child shows up in a tank top, you can explain to your child that girls who show their shoulders are hookers and distract the boys from being able to concentrate, but that's not a message the school should be responsible for sending.

My job is culture enforcement w/ my own child, it's not the school's job. Their job is academics. They have a hard enough time doing that properly, why should I want them involved in anything else?

Anonymous wrote:dress codes are necessary, becasue most parents let their kids leave the house in clothes only appropriate for a hooker.

Agree.

Dress codes also take the competition out of dressing. Everyone will look bad, which IMO, is fine for middle school.

Anonymous wrote:That really isn't the problem, IMO. The problem is that girls constantly push the envelope. We know they do. Walk into Kohls and tell me it isn't tough to find age appropriate clothes for a 6th grade girl. Tight pants, tight, off the shoulder tops with spaghetti straps, crop tops... It's just unnecessary. And girls (moreso than boys, bit boys too) try to outdo each other. If one girl is wearing "Juicy" (or insert brand name here) the next girl is going to try to compete. If one girl's skirt is short, the next girl's is going to be that much shorter and it becomes a who-has-what and the "haves" vs. the "have nots". Come on. You remember middle school. We all do. EVERYTHING is a competition. From what you wear to how much make-up and who got it first. I'd rather the focus of school be on the subject matter. Of course you can't make it all go away. School is school and that stuff is going to go on, but if we can take one variable out of the mix and give the teachers one less thing to focus on so that they can het back to TEACHING instead of POLICING why is that such a horrible thing? Kids can wear whatever they want on the weekends, after school, on vacations, and all summer long. They don't need to be parading around their "individuality" in school in order to use their brains. They should be able to show their individuality by using their minds and their voices.

This is the truth! Boys get normal loose t-shirts, polos and rugby shirts. Girls get super tight T-shirts and super tight pants. I didn't realize that 6th graders' parents were also against it.... I find it completely inappropriate for my 7-8 yr. old. Target is better, but still it is hard to find non-body-hugging clothes for girls. Unfortunately, I think Va. has a law that uniforms can never be mandatory in public schools. I'd really like to see a change in this and have uniforms at my middle-class public school.

Parents need to enforce the school's dress code and then the principal wouldn't have to spend an inordinate amount of timing enforcing the code. Why do the kids need skimpy tops and butt cracks and why are parents defending this attire?

That really isn't the problem, IMO. The problem is that girls constantly push the envelope. We know they do. Walk into Kohls and tell me it isn't tough to find age appropriate clothes for a 6th grade girl. Tight pants, tight, off the shoulder tops with spaghetti straps, crop tops... It's just unnecessary. And girls (moreso than boys, bit boys too) try to outdo each other. If one girl is wearing "Juicy" (or insert brand name here) the next girl is going to try to compete. If one girl's skirt is short, the next girl's is going to be that much shorter and it becomes a who-has-what and the "haves" vs. the "have nots". Come on. You remember middle school. We all do. EVERYTHING is a competition. From what you wear to how much make-up and who got it first. I'd rather the focus of school be on the subject matter. Of course you can't make it all go away. School is school and that stuff is going to go on, but if we can take one variable out of the mix and give the teachers one less thing to focus on so that they can het back to TEACHING instead of POLICING why is that such a horrible thing? Kids can wear whatever they want on the weekends, after school, on vacations, and all summer long. They don't need to be parading around their "individuality" in school in order to use their brains. They should be able to show their individuality by using their minds and their voices.

Uggh. I hate dress codes. IMO, they begin w/ some legitimate restrictions related to safety, gang activity and keeping explicit/controversial messages off t-shirts, but a really much more geared toward controlling female sexuality. The focus always ends up being how much shoulder, cleavage and leg is showing on the girls. IMO, that's why we still have news articles about adult women (like Hillary Clinton) that express shock at a little modest cleavage on the Senate floor, instead of focusing on the speech she was giving.

Girls used to not be able to wear pants, or shorts at all, etc. Boys couldn't have beards or long hair or earrings. Current dress codes are just a continuation of an imposition of traditional gender roles and norms. It also sexualizes young girls who aren't even maturing physically yet, and makes them self-conscious about their own bodies.

I agree with a PP who said it's fine for a kid to go to school in shorts and a tank top. Sorry, but if that is too "distracting" to the boys in school, then the boys should be taught how to control themselves. I have a son, and I don't want him to learn that a girls' attire is any excuse for poor behavior of any type on his part.

I don't buy the argument that this teaches kids anything about appropriate professional attire. Even when they are in conformance with dress code, the kids wouldn't be professionally dressed by any stretch of the imagination and sending the message that they are is not helpful.

Finally, for those that argue that dress code somehow improves school discipline, I don't buy it. Our principal spends inordinate amounts of time talking about dress code and enforcing it, and it doesn't improve discipline a bit. I'd rather she spend her time dealing with academic and behavioral issues head on. I personally don't care about super short shorts and bra straps if the child wearing them is making As and showing up on time. And if the kid isn't making A's, well then I doubt that the manner of dress is the root of the problem.

But, hey, that's just me. Perhaps I listened to Marlo Thomas on Free to Be You and Me one to many times as a kid. (A person should wear what he wants to and not just what other folks say. A person should do what she likes to, a person's a person that way.)

So what was the decision?

I'm all for dress codes and would love to have uniforms in public school. Would cut down on distraction, peer pressure to buy the cool expensive stuff, and shows respect for the school.

My very Catholic sister in law has a 9th grader in FFX county who wears too tight tanks with her bra strap showing and shorts that barely cover her thighs and butt. Sis in law seems unaware that her dtr looks inappropriate.

Don't see why you need a parental buy-in if the school can show there's too much of a distraction or whatever the offense is.

If they can't enforce the code they have, and don't have parental buy-in, they won't be able to enforce a stricter one.

Anonymous wrote:If you want to make your child dress in t-shirts and long shorts, that's fine. But my daughter can learn just fine in a tank top and shorts that go past her fingers and not look like a hooker or immodest. I buy her things that fit her and aren't 2 sizes to small, so there's nothing inapproriate about it.

If your son can't concentrate on school because a girl is exposing her shoulder or upper knee, I think the problem lies with your son, not my daughter.

This made me smile -Tony

I would LOVE uniforms!!!! One of my kids wore a uniform at a private school she used to attend and it was heaven!

My kids are younger (1st and 4th grades) and I will say that I think the ban on thin straps for little girls dresses is ridiculous. My 6 and 9 year olds are not dressing sexy (by any stretch). A cute little sun dress with thin straps is perfectly appropriate for school, but alas, we follow rules at our house so they either wear it with a T-shirt underneath or they don't wear it.

I do get the spaghetti strap ban for older girls (maybe starting in jr. high), but it seems ludicrous to me in elementary school.

Overall, though, uniforms would be so much easier and cleaner to enforce.

Anonymous wrote:Our middle school dress code is similar to what your school's current code. My daughter is just starting there but had already heard through the grapevine about how strict teachers are with enforcing it. So much so that she went through her entire wardrobe to identify the clothes that would pass scrutiny.

I think what is being proposed doesn't make much sense - you may as well do the uniforms. The key really is enforcement and all teacher-leaders in the school need to be on the same page - otherwise it's just creating another code that no one will follow.

Parents also need to do their part. When a kid leaves the house obviously out of dress code and the parents say nothing, they are abdicating their responsibilities and forcing the schools to do it for them. I know some kids ( particularly teenagers) change their appearance after they leave the house, but the vast majority of "dress-code violators" leave the house or are dropped off by their parents already out of code. I am speaking as a teacher with 24 years of experience in enforcing dress codes. Uniforms make it easier for everyone, and all kids, rich or poor are wearing the same thing.

I am so jealous of schools with uniforms.

Not only does it avoid issues like these, but it takes the burden off of the parents and helps avoid a ton of arguments in the teen years.

PG county and DC have uniforms in the public schools, why can't we bring it over to the VA side?