"If you just took a 10 minute walk every day, you wouldn't have depression!"

"If you just TRIED to have a positive attitude," &etc.

She really wants me to put blinds up. I think they are tacky and don't like them. "Well, then, I hope you will be OK when someone comes in and RAPES you!" Because apparently rapists can see through curtains.

"That is such a SLIMMING dress on you."

Looking at my 4-month-old: "Do you think she's having a HAPPY life?" Worriedly.

There should be a thread called "Things my MIL says that make me want to punch her eyeballs down her throat."

Ignore 9:58.

My mom is extremely judgmental. But after burning bridges with most of her children, she has learned to hold her tongue. So there's always this weird frown and pregnant pause when she thinks something but is not going to say it. I am always tempted to fill in the blanks with whatever she normally would have said because it so obvious she's thinking it.

Anonymous wrote:I know my mother could die and I would miss her. But I love/hate her. Sometimes the annoyance is funny. Sometimes it is spittle-flecked hatred.

Why does she call air conditioning: air-COHN-Deesh? She will say: "I have a stiff neck because of deh air-cohn-DEESH".

Why is she an anti-semite?

Why does she care if I am wearing an un-ironed shirt?

.

I can't answer as to why she says "air-COHN-Deesh (nor do I understand why you would consider this to be anti-semitic). Maybe she cares about wearing unironed clothes it advertises the fact that you are a lazy slob.

When I occasionally complain about life or a relationship annoyance, she immediately dismisses it and says:

"Why are you letting this person (thing) have power over you?" Argh!! I'm not letting anyone have "power" over me. I am venting a frustration. Something that she does to me ALL the time. Almost daily.

Other gems:

"Don't let anyone have control over your mental health."
"Why do you have to be so logical about everything?"
"I wish you would go to church. You need to have more faith about things."

I realize that these many not be irritataing to others, but it drives me crazy.

My recent favorite:

Me: why did you buy a kindle again? (After having to help her for hours with the stupid thing)
Her: I had to buy one...because I have an IPhone.

WTF? I didn't even bother trying to explain to her that it didn't matter...

She was on FB for a while and told me that the FB "install" "slowed down her computer" - we all wanted her off of FB so I agreed with her and "uninstalled" it.

My mom tells you the weight watchers points of whatever you are eating. No one requests this info, you just get it. She also said to my husband once, after he was done eating "when you get serious about losing weight, what you have left there in terms of rice should actually be your serving size."

I won't even start about the racist remarks...argh.

I also love/hate my mom. She LOVES to state the obvious, examples include:
When I was pregnant with #1: "Don't drink too much coffee, it's not good for the baby" - What am I, stupid?

When I was struggling with PPD and breastfeeding due to very very low supply, pain and poor latch and after trying EVERYTHING decided to switch to formula: " You know, you're supposed to BF for at least 6 months." - Thanks, makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER about myself.

"Don't hold the baby all the time, you're spoiling her" - she was 6 weeks old.

Every.Single.Time I have some sort of ailment: "Just pray and it will get better" - I'm athiest and she knows it.

Also along those lines:
"I'll pray for you"
"You just need to find God"

Oh, and the best was when DH and I were getting married, she gave me these books on tape titled "Marriage as God Intended" BARF!! You KNOW those books are all about how to be a good submissive wife. I "accidently" left them at her house when we left.

Anonymous wrote:Like a PP mentioned, it's getting worse and worse with age. Some cringe-worthy examples:

You should be careful about nursing in public. What if someone's horny husband walks by (?????)

In reference to the reporter being savagely sexually assaulted in Egypt, she made some comment about how an attractive woman shouldn't put herself in that position (!!!!!)

We were walking through a parking lot and a car parked in a handicap spot. My mom overheard some employees wondering whether the car was allowed to park there so my oh so helpful mother shouted, "it's OK, they have a Cripple Tag!"

When my niece was diagnosed with autism, she said, "we'll love her no matter what". Well duh!

When commenting on how friendly one of nephews is when he is out in public, she always comments, "and it doesn't matter what race they are! He'll talk to anybody!"

My mom means well and her heart really is in the right place, but

Does she drink?

b/c I'd love to hang out with your mother!

9:00 --"It's OK they have a cripple tag"...

Still choking and laughing so loudly right now that I can probably be heard outside of my house and down onto the sidewalk by passersby. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very southern mother's solution to any life crisis, small or enormous:

"Just put a little lipstick on, sweetie. You'll feel better"

The really scary thing is that she is usually right.

My mother says this too!! "Take a shower and put on a little lipstick." It's lead to me being totaly anti lipstick!

I also get the "oh, you must like breastfeeding to be doing it so long but shouldn't she be getting some cereal and formula in a bottle for nap time?" AHHHHHhhhh, she's 3 months old!!!!!!

Oh and don't forget every even slightly political discusion begins with "I know you're a big, liberal hippy but even you can't think this is a good idea"
I'm inclined to argue for the idea before i even hear it

LOL! I'd probably take this as a compliment if my mother said it.

Like a PP mentioned, it's getting worse and worse with age. Some cringe-worthy examples:

You should be careful about nursing in public. What if someone's horny husband walks by (?????)

In reference to the reporter being savagely sexually assaulted in Egypt, she made some comment about how an attractive woman shouldn't put herself in that position (!!!!!)

We were walking through a parking lot and a car parked in a handicap spot. My mom overheard some employees wondering whether the car was allowed to park there so my oh so helpful mother shouted, "it's OK, they have a Cripple Tag!"

When my niece was diagnosed with autism, she said, "we'll love her no matter what". Well duh!

When commenting on how friendly one of nephews is when he is out in public, she always comments, "and it doesn't matter what race they are! He'll talk to anybody!"

My mom means well and her heart really is in the right place, but

Anonymous wrote:My very southern mother's solution to any life crisis, small or enormous:

"Just put a little lipstick on, sweetie. You'll feel better"

The really scary thing is that she is usually right.

My mother says this too!! "Take a shower and put on a little lipstick." It's lead to me being totaly anti lipstick!

I also get the "oh, you must like breastfeeding to be doing it so long but shouldn't she be getting some cereal and formula in a bottle for nap time?" AHHHHHhhhh, she's 3 months old!!!!!!

Oh and don't forget every even slightly political discusion begins with "I know you're a big, liberal hippy but even you can't think this is a good idea"
I'm inclined to argue for the idea before i even hear it

Most of the things my mom says are ridiculous..however I have come to find that it's the way she says them, her tact, that is wrong because her underlying message is usually spot on.

8:41--Oh man. That's a bad one. I know my Mom is thinking this. But at least she doesn't say that one. Her latest is to just scrutinize my face silently for several minutes in the car while I am driving and then say nothing. It is brutal.

Anonymous wrote:My very southern mother's solution to any life crisis, small or enormous:

"Just put a little lipstick on, sweetie. You'll feel better"

The really scary thing is that she is usually right.

Why do they say these things? Well, they are right. Except in my case there has to be a little concealer and foundation involved.

My mom. . ."I remember when men stopped looking at me. Honey, you are almost there. Time to really start paying attention to your appearance."