When I asked to go, my parents pretty much laughed in my face & asked how I was going to pay for it. I think I spent the week at home, getting drunk with my friends in the park instead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Luckily my dd is not interested in beach week. Right now she is looking forward to a breather from her classmates and is excited to be planning her college orientation.

But if she happened to be interested, no, I would not permit her to go to traditional beach week. However, I would be cool renting a large house with another mom, the 2 of us as chaperones and allowing the girls a reasonable amount of freedom.

You sound like the best kind of mom--loving and flexible but not afraid to set some limits--and I'm guessing you have a wonderful daughter!

Really? Because I thought this idea was way worse than the dad's golf trip idea. I can't imagine anything less cool than being at beach week with your mom. I guess you could put the option out there, but I can't imagine anyone would take you up on it, unless it's to a completely different beach where beach weekers won't be. I will probably play this decision by ear, depending on how mature DS is, but if I say no, I would either plan a different fun trip or nothing at all, not try to replicate beach week with my presence.

Not at the same beach, for sure! That thought didn't even cross my mind! I still think it's a great idea (at a different beach).

When I went to college, it seemed like the girls who grew up overly sheltered were the ones that went the craziest with sex and drugs.

I went to beach week after graduation, I was 17. I had already joined the Air Force (delayed enlistment), so it would have been kind of silly for my mom to "not let me go". We were all good kids, and we did drink and some people had sex, but it was no different from being at home. We didn't get into any trouble and we had a good time. I appreciated that my mom trusted me to go and didn't make a big deal about it. I ended up missing my mom so much that week that I spent the rest of the summer hanging out with her instead of my friends before I left for the Air Force.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Luckily my dd is not interested in beach week. Right now she is looking forward to a breather from her classmates and is excited to be planning her college orientation.

But if she happened to be interested, no, I would not permit her to go to traditional beach week. However, I would be cool renting a large house with another mom, the 2 of us as chaperones and allowing the girls a reasonable amount of freedom.

You sound like the best kind of mom--loving and flexible but not afraid to set some limits--and I'm guessing you have a wonderful daughter!

Really? Because I thought this idea was way worse than the dad's golf trip idea. I can't imagine anything less cool than being at beach week with your mom. I guess you could put the option out there, but I can't imagine anyone would take you up on it, unless it's to a completely different beach where beach weekers won't be. I will probably play this decision by ear, depending on how mature DS is, but if I say no, I would either plan a different fun trip or nothing at all, not try to replicate beach week with my presence.

I couldn't agree more with the helicopter parenting statement. And as someone else pointed out, what happens at the beach is also happening at home. If you have raised your kid with open lines of communication and are not a strict, overprotective parent who monitors your child's every move, then a trip to the beach at 18 is going to be a wonderful, lifelong memory not a nightmare. These same children are eligible to join the military and they can't go to the beach for a week with their friends? Sad, so sad.

These same kids are the ones who went crazy in college (after having to keep it together and be the perfect kid in high school), and we all know someone who failed out or had a drinking problem in college because their parents were so strict and overbearing in high school.

Golf trip with dad while your friends are at the beach? Chaperones for an 18 year old? COME ON people!

Anonymous wrote:Luckily my dd is not interested in beach week. Right now she is looking forward to a breather from her classmates and is excited to be planning her college orientation.

But if she happened to be interested, no, I would not permit her to go to traditional beach week. However, I would be cool renting a large house with another mom, the 2 of us as chaperones and allowing the girls a reasonable amount of freedom.

You sound like the best kind of mom--loving and flexible but not afraid to set some limits--and I'm guessing you have a wonderful daughter!

I went to beach week in Delaware in the 1980's. It was a great post-graduation bonding experience with my classmates and with friends from other schools (sports rivals on the field, but friends off).

Sure there was some sex and a lot of drinking, but it was just a continuation of high school life from that time. I would have been more than pissed if my parents "had not allowed" me to go (and likewise for the rest of the group who went).

As others have noted, the kids go off to college in a couple of months and will be on their own. Have we evolved to so much of a helicopter lifestyle that we cannot trust our kids, even for a week?

At what point do you let go and trust them to live their lives and live with any consequences of their actions?

My kids are too young for beach week right now, but if it is an activity that is still taking place when they are ready, and if they are interested in going, I will encourage them to go and have fun, but to be sure, they will be responsible for their housing, responsible to leave it better than they found it, and responsible for their actions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just so, so sad. I went to beach week (a long time ago). I was 17. Lost my virginity. That's called living life. Hope your coddled son had a safe time golfing. Ugh.

Coddled? Not a bit. Pissed off at his parents but recognizing that we aren't going to turn our eyes and therefore condone the craziness of Beach Week? Good kid or not, posts on this thread demonstrate the reality.

Right, and perhaps when he's 35, you'll take his testicles down from the attic, dust them off, and give them to him. If he's 17-18 years old and can't be trusted to stay at the beach for a week with friends, you've already missed the bus.

Luckily my dd is not interested in beach week. Right now she is looking forward to a breather from her classmates and is excited to be planning her college orientation.

But if she happened to be interested, no, I would not permit her to go to traditional beach week. However, I would be cool renting a large house with another mom, the 2 of us as chaperones and allowing the girls a reasonable amount of freedom.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a 17/18 year old yet (mine's turning 16), but I went for senior week when I was that age. The kids who were prone to getting in trouble did. The kids who were more responsible didn't get into much trouble at all. Know your kid. Go from there.

Exactly. Also, I suggest this book for a hilarious send up of the whole thing. http://www.amazon.com/Beach-Week-Novel-Susan-Coll/dp/B004IK9EPK/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1305299884&sr=1-1

I graduated high school in 1997 and we went to Rhehobeth (sp?). Did we drink? Yes. Did some people have sex? Yes. However, everyone of the people who participated in those activities at Beach Week ALSO did them at home (either the parents did not know or some may not have cared). My parents were not thrilled with the idea, however, I was leaving to go to college 12 hours away two months later. If the could not trust me for a week, how could they have handled that?

Oh btw...I went to BCC (Moco) and we stayed in Bethany! It wa so much fun! We had a "girls" house and a "boys" house but it did not stay that way

I went it was great. Yes people might get into troble but most kids try to be smart about it, or if they have open parent relationships good talks before hand.

One thing I would like to point out is: you kid will most likely be going to college at the end of the summer right? So when they get there the first night they could go on a binge and drink, do drugs, have sex, etc. So why not let them go and have fun (not to necessarily do what I said) but because you are going to lose that "control" in a few months anyways.

I will never forget, the first night at my college (still in orientation), a boy got alcohol poisoning and was then kicked out of school right away. I dont know if his parents had control issues over him and this is why he binged and ruined his first college experience, but sometimes when parents have that control over their kids at this age, this is what happens when the kid gets one ounce of freedom.

When I let my kids go one day, I fully expect to me a bit uneasy about it, but would like to know that I have had an open relationship with them and that they will listen to my concerns and act with caution when being given this freedom.

Anonymous wrote:This is just so, so sad. I went to beach week (a long time ago). I was 17. Lost my virginity. That's called living life. Hope your coddled son had a safe time golfing. Ugh.

Coddled? Not a bit. Pissed off at his parents but recognizing that we aren't going to turn our eyes and therefore condone the craziness of Beach Week? Good kid or not, posts on this thread demonstrate the reality.