On the recent day when schools closed early, we were not sure what my 7th grader would do after school (normal routine or just come home). Yes it would have been easier f he had a phone so we could tell him what to do..but he made a logical choice (though not what we expected)..left us a message where he was.. He was just fine without mom/dad to give guidance. Some of my friends felt this was an example of why he needs a phone. I am not sure it is an example of why he does not.

i got my 5th grader a phone; a flip phone, though. DCwas so mad, at 1st, and still is upset that it isnt a smart phone. too bad - the phone is for emergencies, not texting. I bought DC the phone to go along with a set of house keys - its all about trusting DC to make good choices.

Your child doesn't need a phone until he/she is going to activities that are unsupervised by adults or walking/biking/taking public transit to and from such activities without an adult. In many situations, that's probably when your child is between 10-12 yrs. We had planned to hold out till middle school, but our child was walking alone to sports practices by age 10, and the phone (just voice/text, no Internet) was a confidence builder for everyone.

You can find lots of sample "contracts" online covering who pays for what, proper uses, household rules, and cellphone etiquette. You can modify the contract to suit your family's needs. We did this with our oldest and it helped to avoid most of the controversies that can arise.

Does your child actually go anywhere himself? My DD is in 4th grade, and she is escorted to school, and escorted home. She has zero need for a cell phone. When she goes to 6th grade by herself, then we'll probably get her one, but there will be serious rules attached to using it.

Parent of a 4th grader here. A few kids we know in 4th and 5th have phones (and some younger, if from divorced families where one parent has an issue with the other). Sixth grade seems to be a more common age but, depending on our kid's activities, we may wait a little longer. For us it would be a convenience vs. something we consider a need, but we're not above conveniences, if used responsibly.

reallly i say yes.think of all the cool things at school the can do

My graduating 6th grader does not have a phone and I have no plans to get her one. Only one of her closest friends has a phone, and some of her classmates, but by no means all (we're in FCPS).

When DD isn't with the family, she is either somewhere with an adult (all of whom have phones), or she is home alone, where we have a land line.

I do foresee a time when a phone would give me a greater sense of security (she could call to tell me she got where she was going or whatever), but I am trying to be careful not to confuse a sense of security with real safety.

Also, I need to balance any increase in safety with an increase in risk. Kids with phones create entirely different risks (e.g., sexting, cyber-bullying), which in some cases I think can have much more serious outcomes than the supposed harm I would be trying to mitigate by giving her the phone in the first place.

Who said anything about NEED? A phone is not NEEDED -it makes it easy to stay in touch. You do what you think is best for your kid and I do the same - no need to judge.

I am a parent of a 6th grader who does NOT and will not have a phone until high school, and then it will be only a phone i.e it will only make phone calls. I call BS on these parents who say they *need* their kids to have phones so they can call for pick ups, emergencies, etc and then get them phones that have cameras, texting and internet. You all do realize that texting and internet are OPTIONAL??? FACE IT: You are giving your kids phones with cameras, texting and internet, which is where the real problems with cell phone lie, because you want your kid to be a 'cool' kid. Nice parenting. Not.

I think in an emergency situation the friend will let you use their phone to call mom or dad. Other then that..mom or dad don't need to be reached just to say hello. They are a distraction and totally not necessary at a young age.

My oldest is in middle school and has had a cellphone since he started middle school. When he was in ES, he was always somewhere where there were adults. But once he hit middle school, that wasn't the case anymore. He is sometimes just out with friends.

Also, for parents who think that just because other kids have phones your kid will have access, that's not necessarily the case. Just about every parent I know instituted the rule that no one else can use your phone.

We didn't get phones for ours until they were in 9th grade. They are not addicted to them, like their friends are, who got them years ago. I don't know if it was because of the long wait to get one, but I'm glad they aren't texting constantly, nor asking for/getting a phone with internet, too.
Personally, I just can't see why a 5th grader would need a phone. How would you not know where they are or what the transportation plan is ahead of time anyway? Someone around them always seems to have one if it's necessary.

In most cases, I don't really get the response that the kids need the phone so the parents can reach them. My 5th grader is always somewhere where an adult is present. He can always borrow a phone from an adult and has on a couple of occasions. If I'm going to be late to a soccer practice, I can always call the coach or my son can call me on the borrowed phone if I don't show up on time. I've told my son that I have confidence in him and that he doesn't have to be tethered to me by a phone. He seems to be buying that argument for now.

Just wondering-- are the people who are judging parents of 5th graders, or of 5 month olds?

Anonymous wrote:Hmm...I would have to say if all her friends have phones then DC DOESN'T need a phone. Who cares if there are no pay phones around...she can just use one of her friends phones. Did our parents have to get into contact with us all the time? They just said meet me here at this time and that is where we met them. If they are at a friends house why can't we just call the mother of the friend? I will be holding out as long as possible. I think maybe highschool but before that...not necessary.

I agree completely. It is no wonder that kids cannot think for themselves and make decisions on their own when they are in constant contact with friends and their own parents.