Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 16:08     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DUIs today are a witch-hunt. .08 is NOT DRUNK, you did nothing wrong, but unfortunately you have to pay the price of an overreaction. seriously don't feel bad in the least. get a good lawyer and fight it and most likely it will get dismissed.


Okay, I hope this doesn't come out wrong, because I know the OP feels bad. By no means am I trying to condemn her or anyone else in this situation, but I MUST address the poster I quoted above.

However, .08 is legally drunk and that's all that matters. My brother had two beers after work three years ago. On his way home, a really man stepped off the curb in front of him. He hit the man and he, unfortunately died. My brothers BAC was .09. He did not feel drunk. It has nearly ruined his life. He plead guilty and was sentanced to 5 years. He is up for parole next week after serving 20 months. My brother did not have any priors. We grew up middle class, going to private schools and had all of the benefits of a good family and involved parents, etc.

It was a horrible accident that took one man's life, and has hurt two families in ways you cannot imagine. Not everyone gets second chances.

OP, you will be fine. You will likely pay a fine and maybe serve some community service.

But .08 is drunk, and can most definitely take and change lives, it is not an overreaction.


how do you know your brother hit the guy because of the two beers?


Good question. There were other factors, out of my brother's control. I started to put them into the story, but the bottom line is, his BAC was over the legal limit. He had the beers on an empty stomach and did not wait before jumping in the truck, because of course he didn't feel drunk. The facts as seen by the law - he was driving the other man was a pedestrian. The man died within an hour, my brother walked away uninjured. They could not say that had he not been drinking, the accident would still have occured. Reaction times are proven to be delayed at the .08 level.

The charges were initially Vehicular Homicide & DUI, they were later reduced to Vehicular Manslaughter & DUI. Had my brother had a higher BAC or prior convictions (especially alcohol related convictions) he would have faced 20 years. He could have fought the charges, and pled not guilty but he wasn't ready to go to trial (putting both families through everything that comes along with a trial). We did get him an attorney to negotiate the lowest charges possible. Words cannot describe his regret and heavy conscience.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 15:51     Subject: I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
What if OP is very tiny?

Anonymous wrote:A 48yo woman stopping on the side of the road for her friend to pee? Can you imagine how dangerous this is?

I'm with the officer on this one. There's no way you had only 2 glasses with wine over dinner.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 15:48     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DUIs today are a witch-hunt. .08 is NOT DRUNK, you did nothing wrong, but unfortunately you have to pay the price of an overreaction. seriously don't feel bad in the least. get a good lawyer and fight it and most likely it will get dismissed.


Okay, I hope this doesn't come out wrong, because I know the OP feels bad. By no means am I trying to condemn her or anyone else in this situation, but I MUST address the poster I quoted above.

However, .08 is legally drunk and that's all that matters. My brother had two beers after work three years ago. On his way home, a really man stepped off the curb in front of him. He hit the man and he, unfortunately died. My brothers BAC was .09. He did not feel drunk. It has nearly ruined his life. He plead guilty and was sentanced to 5 years. He is up for parole next week after serving 20 months. My brother did not have any priors. We grew up middle class, going to private schools and had all of the benefits of a good family and involved parents, etc.

It was a horrible accident that took one man's life, and has hurt two families in ways you cannot imagine. Not everyone gets second chances.

OP, you will be fine. You will likely pay a fine and maybe serve some community service.

But .08 is drunk, and can most definitely take and change lives, it is not an overreaction.


how do you know your brother hit the guy because of the two beers?
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 15:42     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Anonymous wrote:15:29 again - Sorry for the grammatical errors. That was really hard for me to write and it makes me jittery. It's not something I go around sharing with people outside of a close circle of friends.


I'm sorry. My heart goes out to you and your brother, and the man's family as well.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 15:34     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
15:29 again - Sorry for the grammatical errors. That was really hard for me to write and it makes me jittery. It's not something I go around sharing with people outside of a close circle of friends.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 15:34     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DUIs today are a witch-hunt. .08 is NOT DRUNK, you did nothing wrong, but unfortunately you have to pay the price of an overreaction. seriously don't feel bad in the least. get a good lawyer and fight it and most likely it will get dismissed.


Okay, I hope this doesn't come out wrong, because I know the OP feels bad. By no means am I trying to condemn her or anyone else in this situation, but I MUST address the poster I quoted above.

However, .08 is legally drunk and that's all that matters. My brother had two beers after work three years ago. On his way home, a really man stepped off the curb in front of him. He hit the man and he, unfortunately died. My brothers BAC was .09. He did not feel drunk. It has nearly ruined his life. He plead guilty and was sentanced to 5 years. He is up for parole next week after serving 20 months. My brother did not have any priors. We grew up middle class, going to private schools and had all of the benefits of a good family and involved parents, etc.

It was a horrible accident that took one man's life, and has hurt two families in ways you cannot imagine. Not everyone gets second chances.

OP, you will be fine. You will likely pay a fine and maybe serve some community service.

But .08 is drunk, and can most definitely take and change lives, it is not an overreaction.


This is it. This could have happened to a sober person as well. It could have happened to someone who was doing absolutely everything right (seat belt, not speeding, properly maintained car, defensive driving, etc.). The thing is, if it happens to you, the only way to really live with yourself is to know you did everything right that day. Add drinking, cell phone use, eating fast food, driving while sleepy, or reaching for the Ipod, and it's a nightmare for a lifetime.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 15:29     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Anonymous wrote:DUIs today are a witch-hunt. .08 is NOT DRUNK, you did nothing wrong, but unfortunately you have to pay the price of an overreaction. seriously don't feel bad in the least. get a good lawyer and fight it and most likely it will get dismissed.


Okay, I hope this doesn't come out wrong, because I know the OP feels bad. By no means am I trying to condemn her or anyone else in this situation, but I MUST address the poster I quoted above.

However, .08 is legally drunk and that's all that matters. My brother had two beers after work three years ago. On his way home, a really man stepped off the curb in front of him. He hit the man and he, unfortunately died. My brothers BAC was .09. He did not feel drunk. It has nearly ruined his life. He plead guilty and was sentanced to 5 years. He is up for parole next week after serving 20 months. My brother did not have any priors. We grew up middle class, going to private schools and had all of the benefits of a good family and involved parents, etc.

It was a horrible accident that took one man's life, and has hurt two families in ways you cannot imagine. Not everyone gets second chances.

OP, you will be fine. You will likely pay a fine and maybe serve some community service.

But .08 is drunk, and can most definitely take and change lives, it is not an overreaction.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 15:21     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
when I was in college, everyone drove drunk Thurs-Sat night. Just how you got home. Luckily nobody got killed or killed anyone else.

So back then it was too easy and penalties were too light. I do think we have gone too far in the other extreme. Not sure what the reasonable solution is, but 0.8 is not drunk and she was not a danger to herself or anyone else.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 15:16     Subject: I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Anonymous wrote:Yes but do you really think any judge is going to believe she only had 2 glasses of wine? I'm not saying OP is lying, she's probably telling the truth. But I'm sure judges and lawyers hear that millions of times a day. I just had one drink!!


That's why they test - so they have the number/level. Doesn't matter is she had one glass or 37 glasses - her blood alcohol level was .8 which means she was on the lower end. A crime, yes, but could be much worse and it would be totally believable from two glasses of wine anyway.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 15:14     Subject: I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Sorry! Your friend must feel bad, too. Chances are you were okay driving, but it's a lesson learned by everyone on this forum.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 12:56     Subject: I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Anonymous wrote:Everyone screws up. Let your mistake be a lesson to the rest of us.


This really is my take away from this. Many of us really, really should take this as a wake up call. Myself included. I guess I have to ask. Was this on a tight residential street, or anhigh speed road? Was you intent to travel along distance to your home--more than a mile? Or were you planning on just driving a few blocks. Your lawyer will ask the same questions. Get the very best lawyer you can afford and he/she will request diversion? highly likely as this is a first offense and no one was hurt. It can be expunged from you criminal record after a certain amount of time. Depends on jurisdiction though.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 12:51     Subject: I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
I had a DUI in Va, blew the same thing you did in 2001. I remember being angry, depressed, and terrified immediately afterward. It will be ok. You will likely have to pay and enormous fine, take alcohol classes, go to AA meetings and obviously, your license is suspended. You WILL NOT go to jail, but in VA the DUI is on the driver's record for 7 years. THis impacts insurance so get ready to pay out the ass for several years. The biggest loss you will have will be financial, so try to keep that in perspective as you beat yourself up. 10 years later I never think about the DUI, I went to graduate school (but had to divulge), been hired for jobs and although I've never needed a security clearance, it's unlikely to affect that. Your children don't know and aren't disappointed in you. It is a good teaching moment for them though, and I will tell my children about my experience when they are old enough.
You did a stupid thing. The good news is you'll never do it again and no one got hurt.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 12:41     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Anonymous wrote:Studies show that talking on a handheld cell phone while driving causes a level of driving impairment similar to a couple of drinks. So for anyone inclined to go all holier-than-thou, check a mirror.


What do studies say about levels of impairment when peeing on the side of the road, laughing out loud after a few drinks?
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 12:40     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Anonymous wrote: A small woman (under 120 lbs) can easily hit .08 bac, especially if the drinks were consumed within 2 hours or less, which is very easy to do. It honestly does not take much to hit that limit! I know I have felt tipsy on occassion after just one drink.

And as for the perfect poster that thinks this person should go to jail...that is not your decision to make.

I am sure we all make poor choices - I see plenty of people on the road on their cell phones. In fact, i was almost rear-ended by someone who was on the phone. I was stopped and saw them coming and they slammed on the brakes and barely avoided hitting me. It is illegal and dangerous, but people still choose to do it- over and over again. Speeding, not coming to a full stop at a stop sign, these are all dangerous and illegal activities - but I see adults doing them all the time. I honestly think the OP is remorseful and is not a chronic drinker that drives drunk all the time. I am not condoning what she did but she will pay the price and I hope one day she is at peace with herself. I think she learned her lesson. And we don't know how desperately her friend had to use the bathroom. i hate to say it, but I have stopped on the side of the road a couple times when I thought I could "hold it" but realized that I couldn't.


Those are all very bad choices that's why there's punishment for drivers who cannot make the judgment call.

Being remorseful is standard when you're caught. I doubt she would be feeling so bad if she reached her home without being caught.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2011 12:37     Subject: Re:I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do
Studies show that talking on a handheld cell phone while driving causes a level of driving impairment similar to a couple of drinks. So for anyone inclined to go all holier-than-thou, check a mirror.