bygones are bygones

I wouldn't tell them until they were at least in high school. What difference does it make to them? They're your biological children regardless.

I"ve already told my daughter, age 4 (conceived via IVF) and my son, age 2 (conceived via donor) egg simplified stories of their origins. For my daughter, "Mommy and daddy tried and tried to have a baby and it didn't work so a nice doctor helped us and mixed daddy's cells with mommy's egg to make you". For my son, similar story to my daughter's except, "mommy's eggs didn't work any more so a nice lady gave us one of her eggs to use."

I don't think you NEED to tell. I just chose to. I'm fine with it and I hope they are/will be too.

I forgot about "test tube" babies! Thats what it was called when I was growing up, though I didnt quite get what it was as a child.

Yea, the taboo is gone now. My daughter was an oops baby. I was too. I think that means we were meant to be here.

That was how I read that post too, I didn't detect anything discriminatory about or judgmental in it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this really matter. It isn't like IVF is some taboo or that you used donor sperm or eggs.

Wow, way to discriminate against a specific group of ppl PP. Sure sounds like you are signaling out ppl who used donor sperm/eggs as those who should keep it hushed but everyone else should shout it from the rooftops b/c what they did is acceptable to you.

Not the PP, but I think you're reading ill-intent where there is none.

She's saying that if you used donor sperm or eggs, that's something you'd likely wish to tell your kids down the road. I'd want to know and think kids have the right to. But if it's just my mom's eggs and my dad's sperm, I don't particularly care to know *how* they conceived.

12:26 here. That was supposed to be my point--part of it. I don't think you NEED to tell your kids if they were conceived with donor sperm/egg vs. being completely biological (unless it's for a medical reason). I felt like the PP was saying that a child should know they don't come completely from you b/c is not natural/it's different vs it doesn't matter b/c your child is completely biologically yours. And yes, I read a lot into it. But it was honestly hard not to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this really matter. It isn't like IVF is some taboo or that you used donor sperm or eggs.

Wow, way to discriminate against a specific group of ppl PP. Sure sounds like you are signaling out ppl who used donor sperm/eggs as those who should keep it hushed but everyone else should shout it from the rooftops b/c what they did is acceptable to you.

Not the PP, but I think you're reading ill-intent where there is none.

She's saying that if you used donor sperm or eggs, that's something you'd likely wish to tell your kids down the road. I'd want to know and think kids have the right to. But if it's just my mom's eggs and my dad's sperm, I don't particularly care to know *how* they conceived.

Anonymous wrote:Does this really matter. It isn't like IVF is some taboo or that you used donor sperm or eggs.

Wow, way to discriminate against a specific group of ppl PP. Sure sounds like you are signaling out ppl who used donor sperm/eggs as those who should keep it hushed but everyone else should shout it from the rooftops b/c what they did is acceptable to you.

DS was born with fertility drugs, inseminated with his dad's sperm, I mentioned it when he was 12 or so, just as an FYI.

Just curious: I could see not telling anyone when you were trying but given the wonderful results, why wouldn't your in-laws or anyone else know?

I know parents who are very open about their youngest being a "whoopsie" child, an unexpected surprise. That seems more loaded than not telling children about IVF and other fertility assisted conceptions, since their parents were doing everything they could to have them.

Does this really matter. It isn't like IVF is some taboo or that you used donor sperm or eggs.