Being cloaked in anonymity can be dangerous. One loses a layer of shame and embarassment, and our mischevious, snarky, and mean spirited side can be stoked and rear its ugly head. But my experience on this board, as opposed to a slew of others, is that occasional ugly head rearing aside, anonymity allows us to really say what we are thinking and feeling in an unedited, raw, and true form. The best therapy out there for this often stressed out, confused, but wanting to be better, DCUM.

Oh, so back to the Cotillion. I hate the fact that I love it. There is much truth to the negative stereotype relating to elitism, classism, and a few other ugly isms. But there is also something quite charming about the practice, sweaty palmed boys and all. And I love the fact that my granola crowd, of which I'm considered a part, slightly nutty, but granola nonetheless, thinks that I/we have gone over to the dark side.

I like the whole anonymity thing...

It allows the teachers of your children to gain such unique insight into your thinking!

PP, I think you are assuming that none of the posters have real world contact with other parents. That would be incorrect. I know of a handful of regular posters on this forum, all Beauvoir parents, all communicate with each other in the "real world" and in this "virtual world." Supplementing our conversations by casting a wider net to pick up comments and insights from others in the community can only be a good thing, don't you think?

As for the anonymity, frankly so many of you people out there (particularly on this Private School forum) are scary, so I'll keep my anonymity for now, thank you.

[quote=Anonymous]I think it is a sad commentary to parents who do not have relationships with their kids friends classmates parents to discuss this over the phone or in the park or in person. FWIW....just wait until your kids reach high school. You damn well better be able to call each other.....yea.....actually communicate w/o being anonymous. IT'S A BIG DEAL!

Also, all 3 of my kids did Cotillion and found it very useful when they became more social in teenage years. Just stick your kid in a group that you like what is being taught.....they may even meet new people. I sense that would be a good thing![/quote]

To PP: What is your name?

...exactly.

I think it is a sad commentary to parents who do not have relationships with their kids friends classmates parents to discuss this over the phone or in the park or in person. FWIW....just wait until your kids reach high school. You damn well better be able to call each other.....yea.....actually communicate w/o being anonymous. IT'S A BIG DEAL!

Also, all 3 of my kids did Cotillion and found it very useful when they became more social in teenage years. Just stick your kid in a group that you like what is being taught.....they may even meet new people. I sense that would be a good thing!

Anonymous wrote:Ah, but that means that you must be obsessed with snobbery. If I ask about which soccer camp more kids in my son's school attend, I would be viewed simply as being a responsible parent trying to keep him in touch with classmates. If I ask about an activity that some parents would not want their children to engage in, I must be obsessed. That's just the way it is on this board.

I did not write the obsessed comment (criticism). But I would make a rather large distinction between soccer, which under most circumstances is an activity originally of interest to the child (although I know of many parents who feel the need for their kid to continue long after their interest has waned) and cotillion, which is of no interest to any kid. The only reason kids want to go is because their friends go, and the only reason their friends go is because their parents signed them up. If you went to Capital Cotillion one night and announced that from then on, the kids could wear whatever they wanted and they no longer had to dance, you would hear a bunch of hooping and hollering, I can tell you. Nine year old kids do not like to, do not need to, should not be dancing with partners like grown ups.

Ah, but that means that you must be obsessed with snobbery. If I ask about which soccer camp more kids in my son's school attend, I would be viewed simply as being a responsible parent trying to keep him in touch with classmates. If I ask about an activity that some parents would not want their children to engage in, I must be obsessed. That's just the way it is on this board.

wow, harsh pp - my post was just asking which the kids do more often, i was just curious.

Anonymous wrote:Do most third graders at Beauvoir do Capital Cotillion rather than Mrs Simpsons?

This is just hilarious. I can't believe how obsessed some parents get about this snobbery. And just after the common-sense posts from "Granola".

Do most third graders at Beauvoir do Capital Cotillion rather than Mrs Simpsons?

PP -- it is exactly because I found myself thinking like this that we are pulling out of private school and enrolling in public next year. I hated what I had become in order to "be in the club." I feel for you, it is an awful position to work hard to get your DC into a great school only to find out that, perhaps, what we are paying for goes against the very fundamental values we believe in and want to pass on to our children. We drew the line when our DC came home and informed us that DC's school was for the rich kids (not that DC really knew what that meant or even knew whether we, in fact, were rich, but I nearly threw up thinking that the classmates were discussing this and that we had put DC in such an environment). Yes, private school offers great opportunities, but the cost of those opportunities in terms of skewed values is no longer worth it to us. While I would not consider myself a "granola weirdo" I am hoping to find a better balance between that and the hypervigilance to appearances that comes in the club world.

I have already paid for next year, but I am totally regretting it. Why did I give $400 to this ridiculous organization? Social graces? He's not learning that there. He has to dress up in a suit, deal with the complete and total discomfort of asking a girl to dance, hold her hand, and then learn dance steps. He's nine. Why am I doing this to him? I'll tell you why. All the other parents are talking about it. Acting like this is something "we" do...we in the club. I totally want to be in that club, right? So I better do it too. But actually, this isn't the club I want my son to be in...I want my son to be in the good kids club. The club where they play and are nice to everyone, where they learn to respect other people and not judge them by money, to be inclusive of diversity, and to aim to do what they can to make the world better. Before everyone starts calling me some granola weirdo, let me ask you: what could be better than that?

We do. But this forum often allows us to say what we're really thinking. For example, I've probably come across as indifferent to this whole cotillion thing to my group of friends. I really just don't want to offend anyone or have others draw conclusions about me, my family, or our values by saying out loud what I'm really thinking -- DC WILL do Cotillion. Yes, it's a throwback. Yes, it's not necessary. Yes, there is an off-putting air of exclusivity. But, it will teach things about grace and form that, no matter how hard I try, this daughter of a tailor will never be able to do. Sorry, I don't mean to offend. But that's just the way I see it.

Umm ... some do, and some don't.

Do Beauvoir parents communicate with each other outside an anonymous forum like this? What's up? Why don't you just call each other?