My 17 yr old DD used to be this way. IDK if she has ADHD but she has some of the same behaviors as OP's DD.

It's taken a while for her to figure out that yes, she needs to have things ready the night before, and she will do it *if it's important to her*.

We also model the behavior ourselves, so she sees how things should be done.

It does take repetition for it to become habit, and yes, you will have to remind her every night.

I'm also puzzled how this issue did not arise earlier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to join the military, they'll fix this

Kid has scoliosis. The military ain't taking her.

Wrong thread. That’s the 18yo whose mom wants her to join cosmetology.

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to join the military, they'll fix this

Kid has scoliosis. The military ain't taking her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have autism or ADHD?

Why do people always jump to things like this? She sounds like a lazy, spoiled brat. It doesn't mean there's some syndrome or condition that needs a label so she can be coddled.

Says a parent without an ADHD kid. Maybe that's not this girl's issue but it is a possibility. And she could be a lazy spoiled brat and have ADHD. But it's not about coddling, it's about helping them function. As a PP pointed out, it may require the girl doing prep the night before. That applies to anyone frankly. I often think about what I am going to wear to work the night before, particularly if I have an early meeting.

Yes, "says a parent without an ADHD kid." When are you going to learn that the vast majority of us don't have ADHD kids? And that your fringe experiences aren't applicable? I swear to God, some of you are all, well my child has this condition, so maybe yours does too. No, that's highly unlikely and statistically improbable. I know you mean well, but good Lord, stop offering it up as some explanation in every thread where deviant behavior is described.

Tell her to join the military, they'll fix this

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have autism or ADHD?

Why do people always jump to things like this? She sounds like a lazy, spoiled brat. It doesn't mean there's some syndrome or condition that needs a label so she can be coddled.

Says a parent without an ADHD kid. Maybe that's not this girl's issue but it is a possibility. And she could be a lazy spoiled brat and have ADHD. But it's not about coddling, it's about helping them function. As a PP pointed out, it may require the girl doing prep the night before. That applies to anyone frankly. I often think about what I am going to wear to work the night before, particularly if I have an early meeting.

I have a 20 year old and can tell you that this is not typical behavior. Even my 17 year old can get herself up and moving.

Sit her down and tell her that she needs to come up with a better routine for the mornings. Start with going to bed by 11 each night. Then have her list out everything she needs to do each morning. Which of those tasks can be done at night? (Shower? Pick out entire outfit? Leave keys on the hook? Put shoes by the door? Pack a lunch? Put out water bottle?) What needs to be done in the morning? (Brush teeth. Get dressed. Eat some breakfast. Make bed.)

Then have her set an alarm that is not near her bed for a reasonable time. Remind her once that the alarm went off and don't do any more.

Sometimes failure is the only way to learn. I know it's hard to see our kids fail or struggle, but it's worse to see them never launch or learn at all.

I think you need to manage her less. Absent a neurological deficit, pull back, with lots of communication and care.

For reference, mine is the same age, and this summer she's taking a required class online, and working full time at a job with variable hours. She also has another gig once a week or so. I have not had to remind her, wake her, prep her clothes, etc. Not once. This is a big change from last summer! People develop at different paces. So maybe yours just isn't there yet; but she's less likely to get there if you're doing it for her.

This is too much for 19. I would work on the habit of doing all of this the night before and really minimizing anything that needs to be done in the morning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have autism or ADHD?

Why do people always jump to things like this? She sounds like a lazy, spoiled brat. It doesn't mean there's some syndrome or condition that needs a label so she can be coddled.

No one is "jumping to" adhd and autism. Those of us with people with adhd in our families and friend circle can recognize certain behaviors and there's nothing wrong with asking a question.

There's a lot wrong. It's incredibly rare and when people project their own experiences, it makes it like sound like these conditions are common. Occam's Razor: The kid is just lazy and dumb or has a circadian rhythm that doesn't work easily with getting up in the morning.

Make her pay for her own phone

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have autism or ADHD?

Why do people always jump to things like this? She sounds like a lazy, spoiled brat. It doesn't mean there's some syndrome or condition that needs a label so she can be coddled.

No one is "jumping to" adhd and autism. Those of us with people with adhd in our families and friend circle can recognize certain behaviors and there's nothing wrong with asking a question.

:smile:

:a2m: