Anonymous wrote:Op, don't have another just because you love the baby phase. That's not a reason to keep having more babies

Actually I hate the baby phase. I like when the kids are older like 4+ . We have a great life with the 2 kids but we have room for another (5 bedroom house, good and flexible jobs etc) so I wonder if I’d regret not having another one since the baby phase is so short in the grand scheme of things.

I have 3 who are spread out 7.5 years oldest to youngest, so between 3-4 years between each. It works very well for our family but I was never one who wanted kids very close together (my sibling and I are only 18 months apart and it was very stressful for my parents all throughout my childhood - I did not want to repeat that). My kids are great friends (probably helps they are all the same gender) but also have different interests at their different life stages. I feel like I can be there for them individually but they are also there for each other. I would say the most difficult phase was when the youngest was a baby and needing naps while the oldest was in elementary school and starting activities. They are older now (17, 14, 10) and we love the dynamic.

I'm six years older than my sister. It was a bit tough when she was a toddler but we were able to do stuff together after that and get along quite well now.

My friends family has three kids who are all 4-5 years apart. They’re very close as adults. For what it’s worth none of them chose that age gap for their own kids though.

Op, don't have another just because you love the baby phase. That's not a reason to keep having more babies

Anonymous wrote:I had 2 kids by 35 and totally unable to stay pregnant after that. Same with another friend and my SIL. So as a heads up, it may not happen on the timeline you want or at all.

I worry about that- something to consider

Anonymous wrote:I actually think it's best to have these age gaps so each child has a little space for their own growth.

Kids need you at different times. You’re not soaking in the baby years if you are going to sporting events or navigating an older child’s academic or social issues, for example.

I actually think it's best to have these age gaps so each child has a little space for their own growth.

Anonymous wrote:17:59 here - also yes, for sports you’ll be pulled in different directions and teams almost always

I also never had the youngest at each time on a strict nap schedule

NP here. The nice thing about this age gap IMO though is that, by the time the youngest is old enough to be involved in a lot of activities, the oldest will probably be about driving age and can start to do things independently. We have a 2 year age gap between #1 and #2 and then 5 years between #2 and #3, and while we had a couple crazy years, the oldest now is very independent so we only need to run two kids around to stuff. For us, the early years of #3 were easy because she just tagged along to stuff, or DH or I would do something fun with the older two while the baby napped, and these later years are becoming easy now that the older ones are teens and self-sufficient. There were just some tough in between years. But there will be tough years with 3 kids regardless.
In terms of relationships, agree with other posters this is personality driven. Our kids each have nice 1-to-1 relationships with each other, but certainly with some ups and downs, but the dynamic with all three is different than when there's just two of them. I like that they each have special relationships with each other but also can hang out all together from time to time. As the parents it's very hard to find individual time with each kid. It happens occasionally but usually in relation to the kid's activity, like I'll take one of them to a sports game and then we'll grab ice cream after. Certainly no trips away with just one kid or anything like that.

This is my SIL and currently they are -ages 26, 30, 36- all girls. There were some tensions, just like siblings closer in age, but they get along great now.

I had 2 kids by 35 and totally unable to stay pregnant after that. Same with another friend and my SIL. So as a heads up, it may not happen on the timeline you want or at all.