Why would I have an opinion on this?

And isn’t all sperm “donor” sperm? Like, does it matter if it’s deposited by a penis or a turkey baster?

Anonymous wrote:I don't care. I would judge you if you had a baby with THIS guy since you know he's not good quality.

This. Don’t have kids with a known alcoholic or abuser.

Anonymous wrote:it's weird that you don't like your partner's alcoholism on both sides of the family while you were adopted and have no idea what you would be passing on to your children.

This is probably the most egregious example of the pile-on-OP mentality on DCUM I have ever seen.

Not sure how old you are, but you need to dump this guy. He has alcoholism and you don't think he would make a great father sometimes. That's enough to break up with him. Parenthood will bring its own stresses. I did the donor route on my own. It was the best thing. Who cares what people think? It's way easier to be a single mom than to split custody if you break up. I highly recommend therapy first to figure out if you really want to be with this guy and then decide if you want to be a mom and when.

but I feel like people would judge me. Especially my family.

Grow-up and be more mature. Do it. It makes sense for you.

How would anyone know? It's not like the kid has a sign on their back stating they were created with donor sperm.

There are some kids in my DD's 5th grade class where the parents are older, like in their 60's at least. Maybe their DC was adopted or surrogate or who knows.. but I don't care and I don't ask. The kid is friends with my DD and they get along, that's all that matters to me.


Also your "second cousin with autism" thing is a stretch. I bet you can find they have siblings or first cousins with other risks like alcoholism, mental illness, etc.

What's more important to you? Your ego or the child?

It's very selfish to bring someone into a fatherless life just because you want to.

This factor is more important than what your family or society thinks.

Are you marrying this guy?

I think a lot of women marry losers because they think that they can’t raise a child on their own and they don’t believe in sperm donation.

Can you support yourself?

If you can support yourself, don’t hitch yourself to this guy.

I have the baby without him. Make sure he signs paper saying he has no parental relationship with the child because it doesn’t matter that he’s not biological father. If he lives in the house he could ask for custody.

Go for it and only have one.

This makes little sense. Are you dumping your boyfriend?
Some people choose sperm donor for genetic reasons, but both “parents” need to be on board with it.
I wouldn’t just the going with a sperm donor. I wouldn’t judge if you go with sperm donor in a half assed relationship. Be all in, or be single.

it's weird that you don't like your partner's alcoholism on both sides of the family while you were adopted and have no idea what you would be passing on to your children.