Invite her over one night. Just the two of you, to have dinner and hang out. Let her SEE how small your place is, how limited your seating is, etc.

Anonymous wrote:That’s usually what I do already. Last time we got together I picked up and paid for pizza for everyone and we went to their place. She made a side comment “you couldn’t be bothered to cook something?”

What about doing a brunch or something that isn’t cooking intensive then make it your thing? One of my friends has a small apartment and does a tree trimming party every year. Nice or not, it sounds like they want you to go through the hassle of hosting in your space.

Do you treat everyone when it’s “your turn” and you go to a restaurant? If so, your friend just needs to chill. Has she not seen your space? You could also say, “I know John feels how small it is, based on comments he’s made.”

Do you have a rec area in your building where you could host?

Op here and it’s a different situation because our families are extremely close and I really like her family but her husband is difficult - and her family knows this too.

I suspect her husband is on the spectrum in some way - very smart guy with a big banking job but cannot read the room and she doesn’t push back on him when he’s rude. He’s rubbed off on her too

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I dont read this as OP showing up empty handed.
Its the friend wanting OP to host in her small space.

Did I get that wrong?

Yeah that’s it

Thank you! 🤗

Anonymous wrote:That’s usually what I do already. Last time we got together I picked up and paid for pizza for everyone and we went to their place. She made a side comment “you couldn’t be bothered to cook something?”

She's just a b. It's that simple.

Anonymous wrote:
I dont read this as OP showing up empty handed.
Its the friend wanting OP to host in her small space.

Did I get that wrong?

Yeah that’s it

Why are you friends with her? This feels like one of those situations where you stick to your friend group because you feel like you have to but you're outgrowing each other. She doesn't seem to like you. You don't like her. You're not comfortable around any of their husbands. I think it's time to make new friends

I dont read this as OP showing up empty handed.
Its the friend wanting OP to host in her small space.

Did I get that wrong?

That’s usually what I do already. Last time we got together I picked up and paid for pizza for everyone and we went to their place. She made a side comment “you couldn’t be bothered to cook something?”

Anonymous wrote:Offer to co host with her. You will bring the food (buy it) and the event will be at her place. That is the best you can do right now. Betty..have you noticed my apartment seats 3 people. I am not hosting!

Do this or pay for everyone next time you go out. At this point, your friends sound like they’re getting frustrated oh the disparity.

Op here yes I do always contribute financially, help clean, and I always bring something - but it’s usually something premade or ice cream, casserole from 1310. I do work in journalism and have weird hours!

And I definitely don’t like people’s husbands in my private space, that’s a big part of it

Lot of aholes in aholes in this this thread mocking OP for having a "big/important job!!" When all OP said is that she has a demanding job that makes her work evenings. She could be a production assistant on a live a TV show or the star. Either way, it's not relevant.

Find friends you like and who like you?

Bake a banana bread from quick box or throw some store bought pasta and veggies in a salad bowl etc.