Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:30     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:OP, how are you so certain they are having this party - the one you're not invited to?


This
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:28     Subject: Re:Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:I think people tend to get their feelings hurt when they feel excluded.
At least I know that I do.
A lot.

Even when I was a kid.

I likely would not invite the other family
Even though I fully acknowledge that by doing so I am being VERY petty.

And I make no apologies for it.
Lol. 😝


Yes, I do too. Perhaps more this time as we have been included in the past.

Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:26     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure they are having one this year? Are you also sure it hasn’t morphed into some sort of family only graduation party or baby shower? Invite them if you think they’ll add joy to your party.


+1 sometimes people have a tradition but have to skip a year due to other circumstances. As this PP points out, could even be happy circumstances - hosting something else and so not up for the usual party.


This. The tradition hasn’t been an established pattern yet. I get where you are coming from OP, and if it were me I’d not invite, BUT I have the objective point of view now & think you should invite this year.


They have had this party for years - always same weekend in summer. We only bought a house there a few years back.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:24     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Generally like the DH. The DW can be a lot."

Sounds like you don't truly care for them and they may feel the same way. They come because you invite them and aren't that bad, but they could take or leave you.


+1
When you tend towards viewing someone negatively, they are likely feeling the same way. Nobody is in the wrong when personalities don't gel well and its not going to get better by being vengeful. Don't include them if you don't want to see them whatsoever, that makes sense but not as a payback. If you don't mind them that much and it would be polite to include them, do so. If her too muchness grates on your nerves, save yourself the stress and cut them out of your parties.


I don't mind them and have been happy to include them. But I do think about why would I include someone who is not including me - I don't think that is unusual.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:23     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure they are having one this year? Are you also sure it hasn’t morphed into some sort of family only graduation party or baby shower? Invite them if you think they’ll add joy to your party.


+1 sometimes people have a tradition but have to skip a year due to other circumstances. As this PP points out, could even be happy circumstances - hosting something else and so not up for the usual party.


No, they are having the party and it is the usual party as per what others are saying.

Everyone assumes we are invited so they raise it in conversation. This party is often the first one of the summer.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:21     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:This is some crazy middle school tit for tat.

If you like them, invite them. If you don't like them, don't invite them.


Well, my feelings are informed about whether they like us.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:20     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:The more people invited to your party, the better. Summer house means outside mostly? Damn, I’d invite EVERYONE to my beach house. Now is not the time to be petty but to have a good time! Be magnanimous and inclusive. Invite your hair dresser. The cleaning people. The lawn guys. Your kids teachers. This could be the best party of the year! Have fun and show your kids what it means to be a good hostess.


We are not having our summer party and the party I am referencing will not be at beach.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:20     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:How do you know they are having a party? We had an annual Christmas party for years but now it is more episodic and we often have people asking us if the party is on if they haven't received an invite.

They've already accepted your invite for this year, so invitations for a party next year is not a decision you need to make today.


We are not having our party this year due to family logistics, but are planning a milestone party for next year - not at beach, but back home where all these friends live in the spring.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:18     Subject: Re:Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:Eh, i'd like it slide if only for one year. But are you sure they are having the party?


yes, as per above
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 09:18     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:OP, how are you so certain they are having this party - the one you're not invited to?


Yes, they are. Other friends are attending and assuming we will be there as they are asking us about it. We know pretty much everyone invited - all our kids are friends/friendly from when they attended school together.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 07:41     Subject: Party etiquette
Did you attend their party the past two years?

Are you sure they are having/had the party this year?

Why are you sure it wasn't an inadvertent error rather than an intentional slight?
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2026 00:29     Subject: Re:Party etiquette
I think people tend to get their feelings hurt when they feel excluded.
At least I know that I do.
A lot.

Even when I was a kid.

I likely would not invite the other family
Even though I fully acknowledge that by doing so I am being VERY petty.

And I make no apologies for it.
Lol. 😝
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2026 22:17     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure they are having one this year? Are you also sure it hasn’t morphed into some sort of family only graduation party or baby shower? Invite them if you think they’ll add joy to your party.


+1 sometimes people have a tradition but have to skip a year due to other circumstances. As this PP points out, could even be happy circumstances - hosting something else and so not up for the usual party.


This. The tradition hasn’t been an established pattern yet. I get where you are coming from OP, and if it were me I’d not invite, BUT I have the objective point of view now & think you should invite this year.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2026 21:54     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:"Generally like the DH. The DW can be a lot."

Sounds like you don't truly care for them and they may feel the same way. They come because you invite them and aren't that bad, but they could take or leave you.


+1
When you tend towards viewing someone negatively, they are likely feeling the same way. Nobody is in the wrong when personalities don't gel well and its not going to get better by being vengeful. Don't include them if you don't want to see them whatsoever, that makes sense but not as a payback. If you don't mind them that much and it would be polite to include them, do so. If her too muchness grates on your nerves, save yourself the stress and cut them out of your parties.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2026 21:52     Subject: Party etiquette
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure they are having one this year? Are you also sure it hasn’t morphed into some sort of family only graduation party or baby shower? Invite them if you think they’ll add joy to your party.


+1 sometimes people have a tradition but have to skip a year due to other circumstances. As this PP points out, could even be happy circumstances - hosting something else and so not up for the usual party.