Anonymous wrote:When my friends and I got married, the bride and groom paid for the wedding, with both sides of the family contributing. I thought only rich people did that.

This is what we did. We did a smaller reception.

I only have boys, when the time comes, I don't mind contributing but I'm not financing anything insane.

Anonymous wrote:...of the bride's parents paying for the wedding??? It's 2026.

I feel like we're going backwards.

Selective feminism and elective patriarchal misogyny.

Anonymous wrote:Explain to me why we're spending $$$$ on weddings in the first place. One of the most idiotic customs I've ever experienced.

It's a family party. It's fun and beautiful. Different budgets are possible. I've enjoyed every wedding I've been to.

I don't regret spending money on my wedding even though I could have bought an econobox car for the price. My tightfisted grandpa said afterwards that it was worth it. I (the bride) paid for about 60%, the groom 10%, and my parents 30%. I was working and the groom was in grad school on scholarship. I have good savings now and I'm glad I didn't skimp.

When my friends and I got married, the bride and groom paid for the wedding, with both sides of the family contributing. I thought only rich people did that.

My son's fiancé's parents refused to let us help with anything the day of the wedding. I get it. We ended up paying for Friday night activities and brunch Sunday morning. Then I gave them any money I had left from what I would have contributed to the wedding as a gift.

You got a mouse in your pocket? Who’s “we.” Do what you want.

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Anonymous wrote:Tell your children what you plan to contribute and let them take it from there.

This. We have the same amount saved for son and daughter's wedding. They can have a giant wedding, or elope and use the money for a down-payment, or some combination thereof

Tell your children what you plan to contribute and let them take it from there.

Good custom 100+ years ago, when a husband was the only path to financial survival for women. Luckily, now college has replaced marriage as the path to financial survival for women (and men).

Therefore, helping to pay for college has replaced the obligation of paying for a bride's wedding. Right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explain to me why we're spending $$$$ on weddings in the first place. One of the most idiotic customs I've ever experienced.

Just because you don’t like something and you think it’s stupid doesn’t make it so.

Ok. Explain to me how something is objectively and factually categorized as stupid. Take your time, sweetie.

Let us know when you get your crayons.

Anonymous wrote:...of the bride's parents paying for the wedding??? It's 2026.

I feel like we're going backwards.

I was poor and my inlaws paid for most of their only child's wedding. That said,I felt the responsibility of spending my in-laws money and so was very cautious with it. My family was also poor so it ended up being a destination wedding to my family. The in-laws and their extended family, and our friends, loved it b/c most of them had never been. Total wedding, 20 years ago, $14K which included everything. Planning trips, the rehearsal dinner, flowers, location, dress, tux, band tipping out. everything. For 80!

If I'm paying for my daughter's wedding, it will be frugal. I don't plan on paying for an expensive wedding for either of my kids but will help. I am also teaching them about compounding interest so they can keep the gift or spend it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explain to me why we're spending $$$$ on weddings in the first place. One of the most idiotic customs I've ever experienced.

Just because you don’t like something and you think it’s stupid doesn’t make it so.

Ok. Explain to me how something is objectively and factually categorized as stupid. Take your time, sweetie.

We have daughters. No sons. We’ve paid for three very nice weddings (mid 5 figures and up) without expecting anything from the grooms’ families and have been fine with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explain to me why we're spending $$$$ on weddings in the first place. One of the most idiotic customs I've ever experienced.

Just because you don’t like something and you think it’s stupid doesn’t make it so.

No kidding. But why?

Anonymous wrote:Explain to me why we're spending $$$$ on weddings in the first place. One of the most idiotic customs I've ever experienced.

Just because you don’t like something and you think it’s stupid doesn’t make it so.