I think those changes you want have nothing to do with perimenopause but just you deciding what you want out of the rest of your life.

It’s just late stage capitalism.

Anonymous wrote:For the people who say 50s is better, that makes me feel hopeless. I am in my mid-50s and am struggling more now. My 40s were great. My 50s feel disappointing. I’m tired of trying to drag DH anywhere. He won’t travel and it’s hitting me we will never have the financial freedom my parents had or we hoped for. I loved having my kids around and will miss my youngest like crazy when he leaves in August. This is not to say I’m not happy and excited for him. Many of my friendships faded as our kids grew and it feels lonely. The one bright light is I joined a book club hoping to make new friends and so far it is working well. I love the women I’ve met.

Mid-50s and same. Still have kids at home and am so tired of the hamster wheel. In my case it's not peri, maybe it's hormones, or maybe I'm just tired. I fantasize about quitting or retiring but realistically I'd need to find a new position for health insurance benefits. I've also gained 50 (!) pounds in the last 3 years, which is weighing me down literally and figuratively.

I wake up at 5:30, walk the dog, get the kids off to school (they're older so maybe supervise getting them off is more appropriate), then work nonstop until I have to stop to give someone a ride somewhere. Maybe throw in a load of laundry before I have to pick them up. I crawl into bed as early as I can just to do it all again the next day. I'm tired.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s peri or just life but I’m 46 with an 18 and 15 year old and feel the same. Very glad I did not have that much later on 3rd kid we debated! He/she would be in about 3rd or 4th grade right now!!

Did you have a shotgun wedding?

Having her first child at 28 indicates a shot gun wedding? Seriously?

This is normal but it doesn't mean you have to rough it out on your own. You can get help, with it's HRT, an SSRI, therapy, a combination of all of them...

Can you get away for a few days on your own? When I hit a wall at 45, my wonderful DH shipped me off for a week at an adults only all inclusive in the Caribbean...it made a huge difference.

Can we fantasize about what you would do of you could? I am so tired that all I want is an empty plate, which is sad.

Say no more
Be selfish w your time
Be selective w who you spend your time w

For the people who say 50s is better, that makes me feel hopeless. I am in my mid-50s and am struggling more now. My 40s were great. My 50s feel disappointing. I’m tired of trying to drag DH anywhere. He won’t travel and it’s hitting me we will never have the financial freedom my parents had or we hoped for. I loved having my kids around and will miss my youngest like crazy when he leaves in August. This is not to say I’m not happy and excited for him. Many of my friendships faded as our kids grew and it feels lonely. The one bright light is I joined a book club hoping to make new friends and so far it is working well. I love the women I’ve met.

Anonymous wrote:You are at the bottom of the y curve of happiness. You are in a mid-life slump - things will get better after 50.

This was debunked.

Happiness actually decreases during old age, for many people, according to latest analysis.
This debunks previous studies which stated that people experience a U-shaped curve of happiness during their lifetimes.
In fact, there’s no universal pattern of happiness - people face age-related difficulties, such as declining health and family bereavement.

https://www.weforum.org/stories/2022/09/u-shaped-happiness-curve-age-mental-health/

OP again - weww - i guess others feel it too -- a combination of boredom (this day, this responsibility, again? like that sound "letting the days go by...floating underwater"....lol) but also yes scarcity of time (is it just 10-15 more good years and how do i use them?) and maybe... some rage too?... how did I let this happen?..that may be the simmering hormones....of me feeling like i was underestimated as a young professional ("oh you probably weren't born then....") to now still looking young-ish but noting that soon I may be floating into that invisibility of late 50s womanhoood i read aboutl... to be clear, I've never gotten by on my looks/etc....but i just am also pissed off that there is no "peak wisdom" to capitalize on---or maybe that moment is now --- and this is exactly when I am feeling burnout and want to step away--- kind of like, WTF -- hormones raging i guess

49 and am taking FMLA for burnout, and will decide whether to quit at the end. I do think it’s peri in the sense that estrogen/hormones protect us so that we can focus on taking care of others. As those hormones leave, the focus comes back to ourselves, and we want to live our own lives! 50 is pretty young— there are decades ahead, and it just makes sense to try new things and expand!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s peri or just life but I’m 46 with an 18 and 15 year old and feel the same. Very glad I did not have that much later on 3rd kid we debated! He/she would be in about 3rd or 4th grade right now!!

Did you have a shotgun wedding?

Yes, having a baby at 28 makes you a child bride.

Only in DC.

53 and perimenopausal and totally feel the same way. First kid is going to college in Fall and second kid will be in 8th grade next year. So I am beginning to realize there may be a life beyond this? Maybe? Someday?

47 and i totally feel this