We were very strict on this. School, sports and girlfriends first. Sees bf at school daily and typically once per weekend, or sometimes less because they are both busy. I was very concerned about this at first, and felt the need early on to gently remind her not to give up her friends/life/interests. But they are both really great kids and it's been fine. Both have their own lives, own friends, plus joint friends. So much healthier than the teen relationships I saw when I was their age!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow dating in high school, so none.

+1 same. Complete waste of time and leads to no good.

Ok…check back in 5 years.

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow dating in high school, so none.

Either your kid doesn’t attract attention from the opposite sex or same sex which is half the school, or they are low key dating by eating lunch and hanging out whenever possible with that special person.

I didn’t date until college and was happy that my oldest seemed to be on the same track. But then she got a boyfriend halfway through senior year and I’m grateful that I’ve been able to observe their relationship develop. (And his parents agree.) They’re both very respectful of each other and make lots of time for their own friends. I’m impressed by their maturity (I wouldn’t have had it myself at their age— I’m pretty sure I would have been clingy and insecure.) and it makes me feel better about her handling romantic relationships going forward.

Waste of time and unnecessary drama

We don't encourage any of it or help facilitate it. We realize kids date but I will not go out of my way to drive kids to see their dates; host them at my place or pay for their dating life. Once they can drive and have their own money, these reigns will be loosened but with some strict rules. We have witnessed too many friend fallouts because of dating and to us, forming deep friendships is more important than that girl or that boy in HS. Dating will surely come...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow dating in high school, so none.

+1 same. Complete waste of time and leads to no good.

In my case, it led to a wedding about 10 years later and so far almost a 20 year marriage. Starting dating my spouse in HS. We still went to college and grad school, etc.

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow dating in high school, so none.

While all the senior boys at my son's school pretty much stopped going to class after their college admission notices and let their grades drop, one boy continued to arrive on time to first period and all other classes because his girlfriend was still being a diligent student even after her Yale acceptance.
"She's going to be in math class so I want to be there too!".
I wish my son had a diligent girlfriend because his GPA totally tanked as soon as he received an acceptance in November. And he's kicking himself now because he's looking to transfer.

Anonymous wrote:As little as possible.

bingo

Anonymous wrote:I overheard my DD tell a friend she couldn't do something with her because of a boy, I was quick to nope that. In our home, friends come above all else.

What if BF is best friend?

Anonymous wrote:BF's parents insisted on me going to their house and socializing with the family if it was seeing him, say on Saturday if we had been out on Friday. Dinner with his family, board games, watching sports on tv. Whatever the family was doing. BF liked it less than I did. I didn't mind.

You had to date the parents to date the BF? So to earn a movie date with BF you had to go on date with whole family???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow dating in high school, so none.

+1 same. Complete waste of time and leads to no good.

I feel like my son has learned a lot from having a girlfriend. He keeps track of anniversaries and important dates for her. He thinks about what she would like as a gift. He interacts nicely with her family. She provides a perspective that is often different from his. She has certain expectations for him (that often track my expectations but when his gf tells him time for a haircut or throw out those awful pants, he takes it much better than from me!).

There’s also this panic about young men not knowing how to deal with girls and just spending time on computers etc etc. I think it’s good for boys and girls that boys learn these skills. Otherwise, if you’re a hetero woman, you’re going to be wondering why all the men in their twenties are so socially awkward.

Common people, it's an ordinary and welcome age-appropriate transition. The most significant future relationship will be as part of a couple. It starts here.

nah, she doesn't like the friend

I overheard my DD tell a friend she couldn't do something with her because of a boy, I was quick to nope that. In our home, friends come above all else.