Don’t send cards. At some point you realize it’s not a tradition worth keeping as it draws more bad than good feelings. Also people sending cards are often trying to prove something. Life is better when you’re secure enough to let that go.

The strategy of “don’t refer to them at all” fascinates me. My now-ex-husband’s male college friends would have a Christmas card with one family one year and an entirely new wife and stepchildren the other and not acknowledge it all. I spent years dreading opening cards because it was such a jarring way to find out that the nice wife who I always chatted with at weddings or reunions was no more.

I also like to watch from afar when people with really messed up nasty divorces move on fast and then make up new family names for Christmas cards only. Like if it’s cute enough maybe no one will remember what went down?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just write "The Smith-Jones Family."

We have 3 last names

Why not simply write everyone's name? You're making this harder than it needs to be.

I kept my name and the kids have DH's last name. Still married, not blended.

It doesn't bother me one iota that I "can't" write "The Smiths" on holiday cards. (I mean, I could if I wanted to, but I don't want to.) I will write "The Smith-Jones Family" but I actually prefer to write our first names. In the return envelope, I usually have printed "Larla Smith and Elmer Jones" with our address, but that's because I like to try to emphasize it for family members who after 35 years still can't seem to acknowledge that my last name isn't Jones lol.

In your case, I would sign first names and on the return envelope put The Smith-Jones-Garcia Family, and I wouldn't give this another thought. Embrace it.

Whatever you write, it won't be as bad as people with terrible grammar who write "The Smith's".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds silly but when I receive a card signed
THE NELSON FAMILY

it stings a little because my family has different last names. I kept my maiden name and kids have ex dhs.

I'm confused. Are people addressing the cards to you as "the 'your actual last name which is your maiden name' family" or "the 'ex husbands last name/childrens last name family'"? If people who know you are addressing cards to you with the wrong last name, that is bizarre.

I think you misread the post. I said ‘signed’ THE NELSONS not ‘addressed to’…

But in fact, there are 3 last names in my blended family because I remarried. And when people address things to us, they never get our last names all correct. It’s really not a big deal overall, but sometimes when I see a family breezily signing THE NELSONS to their Xmas card or whatever, I am reminded of one of the many hiccups of having a blended family.

You can’t expect them to write all three last names come on

But… why not? Is it that hard to add an extra name? I’m a teacher and I have kids whose faces light up when I say or spell their name correctly because no one ever does.

Whether addressing or signing a card, is it really that hard to add all the relevant names?

Either first names or hyphens or slashes.

Sarah Smith and John Jones Family
Emma Watson (14), Jayden Jones (13), Maddie Smith-Jones (2)

I don't send cards to people with confusing last names.

Anonymous wrote:The friends I have who have done this combine the names. Smith and Jones are Smones, etc.

That's so dumb

In truth it should read Nick, mistress and bastard. But maybe too real

I'm a woman who uses the name given to me at birth. I use 2 last names (my father's and mother's) and DH has one (his father's). We each have kids from prior marriages. I sign family cards from The Brown Smith & Wilson Family. That covers everyone since I gave my kids one of my last names along with their dad's last name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just write "The Smith-Jones Family."

I know a real Smith/Jones family and this is what they do. They are married. No difference when the wife doesn't change her name.

This is a thread for non traditional families, no?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds silly but when I receive a card signed
THE NELSON FAMILY

it stings a little because my family has different last names. I kept my maiden name and kids have ex dhs.

I'm confused. Are people addressing the cards to you as "the 'your actual last name which is your maiden name' family" or "the 'ex husbands last name/childrens last name family'"? If people who know you are addressing cards to you with the wrong last name, that is bizarre.

I think you misread the post. I said ‘signed’ THE NELSONS not ‘addressed to’…

But in fact, there are 3 last names in my blended family because I remarried. And when people address things to us, they never get our last names all correct. It’s really not a big deal overall, but sometimes when I see a family breezily signing THE NELSONS to their Xmas card or whatever, I am reminded of one of the many hiccups of having a blended family.

You should have given your kids your last name, but too late now. Guess you’ll have to take your new husbands last name.

Hell no

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds silly but when I receive a card signed
THE NELSON FAMILY

it stings a little because my family has different last names. I kept my maiden name and kids have ex dhs.

I'm confused. Are people addressing the cards to you as "the 'your actual last name which is your maiden name' family" or "the 'ex husbands last name/childrens last name family'"? If people who know you are addressing cards to you with the wrong last name, that is bizarre.

I think you misread the post. I said ‘signed’ THE NELSONS not ‘addressed to’…

But in fact, there are 3 last names in my blended family because I remarried. And when people address things to us, they never get our last names all correct. It’s really not a big deal overall, but sometimes when I see a family breezily signing THE NELSONS to their Xmas card or whatever, I am reminded of one of the many hiccups of having a blended family.

You can’t expect them to write all three last names come on

Yes hence the post saying it’s not a big deal but I recognize it would be easier if we all had the same name. Are you a blended family?

Anonymous wrote:We just write "The Smith-Jones Family."

I know a real Smith/Jones family and this is what they do. They are married. No difference when the wife doesn't change her name.

I do “Larla Smith and family”