Anonymous wrote: My mother has always been prickly. She can be charming and funny, but she gossips and behind closed doors she always complained incessantly about "friends" and was competitive with them. She also ventures into toxic territory and A LOT of her friends/frenemies drifted away because most people just want to be surrounded by genuinely kind people as they age. Over the years she will hear about the death a so called friend she didn't really seem to like who she rarely kept in touch with and she gets all upset and nostalgic and wants comfort. I take the high road and refrain from reminding her all she did was gossip about and disparage the person, but I also cannot be her source of comfort beyond "I am sorry to hear that." She won't get therapy or any of that. It is almost fascinating to me how she re-writes the past and seems shocked she wasn't invited to the funeral despite the fact the friendship drifted or ended so long ago. Does anyone else have a parent who does this?

I shouldn't be surprised because she was even the same way with dad, but they stayed married. She seemed to hate him most of the time (most of my life) and we had to get placed in memory care because of her emotional and verbal abuse as he declined, yet if you listened to her you would think they had the ideal relationship and she does all sorts of things in his honor and will cry talking about him. It's almost disturbing because he was terrified of her until we got him out of that house.