Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why having rules about cursing are dumb to begin with. It’s not the word itself that makes something rude or obscene it’s the idea. You created this situation years ago when you first made f*ck a big deal. Now your kid is obeying the rule but you want to move the goalposts. It makes you look capricious and petty and takes away some of your own authority/power. You should have made a rule about being rude so that your little lawyer in training wouldn’t have a loophole. I also don’t see why you would feel the need to limit a basic human expression like WTF. It’s a valid comment to make in many situations.

Sorry, but disagree. It’s always people who have a hard time with social rules who say stuff like this. Not everyone gets to use any word in any context around any set of people. That’s just the way it is. I don’t call your mother “mommy.” To that extent, OP - I have the same issue with my kid. My rule is that he does not speak this way to or around adults. It’s playground language for him to use with his friends. He might as well learn to code switch now.

Curse words are arbitrary. Your example also doesn’t make sense. Why would another child call you “Mommy”? It’s not offensive it’s just illogical. And yes as far as I am concerned a person can use any word they like as long as they are not being mean. Why would anyone care beyond that? Other humans don’t exist just to satisfy your personal ego/power trip.

There are social repercussions to using words you should not use in contexts in which you should not use them. Period. The faster kids learn that, the better. Do you go to work and use tons of curse words in front of your boss or your boss’s boss? I’m going to guess no.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a household that lets my 16yo curse so I’m straddling the line on if I’m being too prudish with clutching my pearls over “frick you” and “what the frick”. I tended not to allow my older kids to say “what the __” so I’m trying to be reasonable given the rise of internet type language (bruh, bro, fuhhh, etc)

Do you allow “frick”?

Do you allow your child to call people "motherfrickers"? Can they tell people to "suck their frick?" I don't understand the idea of condoning near-curse words.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why having rules about cursing are dumb to begin with. It’s not the word itself that makes something rude or obscene it’s the idea. You created this situation years ago when you first made f*ck a big deal. Now your kid is obeying the rule but you want to move the goalposts. It makes you look capricious and petty and takes away some of your own authority/power. You should have made a rule about being rude so that your little lawyer in training wouldn’t have a loophole. I also don’t see why you would feel the need to limit a basic human expression like WTF. It’s a valid comment to make in many situations.

Sorry, but disagree. It’s always people who have a hard time with social rules who say stuff like this. Not everyone gets to use any word in any context around any set of people. That’s just the way it is. I don’t call your mother “mommy.” To that extent, OP - I have the same issue with my kid. My rule is that he does not speak this way to or around adults. It’s playground language for him to use with his friends. He might as well learn to code switch now.

Curse words are arbitrary. Your example also doesn’t make sense. Why would another child call you “Mommy”? It’s not offensive it’s just illogical. And yes as far as I am concerned a person can use any word they like as long as they are not being mean. Why would anyone care beyond that? Other humans don’t exist just to satisfy your personal ego/power trip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow frick. He got in trouble at school for saying “what the” because the recess monitor thought he followed it with “hell.”

Is your recess monitor a time travelling Pilgrim perhaps?

Don't they have some witches to go burn in Salem?

Catholic school.

Must be a different sort of culture I suppose. I'm a cradle Catholic, grew up in a very German-Irish Catholic environment, and we're very -- NOT like 'that' where I grew up.

We have Catholic fish fry's, pull-tabs, copious amounts of cursing, and bingo!

...and somehow the kids don't grow up to be serial murderers.

Idk, my parenting philosophy is admittedly a bit skewed in this regard. But all of the kids that I was friends with growing up who had the most overbearing, smothering, helicopter-y parents...are specifically the ones that grew up to be the 'wild' teens/young adults who get into drugs etc. Different world these days I suppose.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why having rules about cursing are dumb to begin with. It’s not the word itself that makes something rude or obscene it’s the idea. You created this situation years ago when you first made f*ck a big deal. Now your kid is obeying the rule but you want to move the goalposts. It makes you look capricious and petty and takes away some of your own authority/power. You should have made a rule about being rude so that your little lawyer in training wouldn’t have a loophole. I also don’t see why you would feel the need to limit a basic human expression like WTF. It’s a valid comment to make in many situations.

Sorry, but disagree. It’s always people who have a hard time with social rules who say stuff like this. Not everyone gets to use any word in any context around any set of people. That’s just the way it is. I don’t call your mother “mommy.” To that extent, OP - I have the same issue with my kid. My rule is that he does not speak this way to or around adults. It’s playground language for him to use with his friends. He might as well learn to code switch now.

Agree. I don't actually think it matters why things are this way. It's just reality.

I've always told my kid that there are certain words that a lot of people, including adults at school and other kids' parents, will be very offended to hear come out of a child's mouth. Even if they use the words themselves or are find with adults using them. There are things she says at home and I don't mind because it's just a word (we don't insults or swearing AT people). She knows not to say those things at school, and we also pay attention to whether it's becoming habit instead of the occasional curse and remind her to be careful -- if you get in the habit and let that loose at school (or later, at work) there will be consequences. She is warned.

This is just part of being a socially savvy human being and it will benefit her later in life.

My 9 yo who attends parochial elementary has started exasperatedly screaming "Shit!" when he spills something or has a major/sudden accident like hurting his foot. He got that from me, unfortunately. I'm very buttoned-up and conservative in behavior and appearance otherwise (like I don't even wear tank tops), but exclaiming "Shit!" is such a bad habit and hard to break!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow frick. He got in trouble at school for saying “what the” because the recess monitor thought he followed it with “hell.”

Is your recess monitor a time travelling Pilgrim perhaps?

Don't they have some witches to go burn in Salem?

Catholic school.

Anonymous wrote:This is why having rules about cursing are dumb to begin with. It’s not the word itself that makes something rude or obscene it’s the idea. You created this situation years ago when you first made f*ck a big deal. Now your kid is obeying the rule but you want to move the goalposts. It makes you look capricious and petty and takes away some of your own authority/power. You should have made a rule about being rude so that your little lawyer in training wouldn’t have a loophole. I also don’t see why you would feel the need to limit a basic human expression like WTF. It’s a valid comment to make in many situations.

Sorry, but disagree. It’s always people who have a hard time with social rules who say stuff like this. Not everyone gets to use any word in any context around any set of people. That’s just the way it is. I don’t call your mother “mommy.” To that extent, OP - I have the same issue with my kid. My rule is that he does not speak this way to or around adults. It’s playground language for him to use with his friends. He might as well learn to code switch now.

Time for your kid to read "Frindle".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow frick. He got in trouble at school for saying “what the” because the recess monitor thought he followed it with “hell.”

Is your recess monitor a time travelling Pilgrim perhaps?

Don't they have some witches to go burn in Salem?

This is why kids started saying what the what.
I wonder what the monitors would do if a kid exclaimed “Hell’s bells!” Let’s bring back that one. I don’t know why frick for f— is any more offensive than something like Good Golly! Instead of “good lord!” People have made these substitutions for centuries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the frick … okay

Frick you … not okay but I wouldn’t go overboard

This.

I don't mind a surprised exclamation that might contain a rude word. But we do not curse AT anybody. Ever. Even with softer words substituted in.

This is where I am. I do not care much about supposed bad words and they are used frequently in my line of work (the law!). But I do not abide cruelty so if it’s being used as a slur or a meanness to others, I get upset. (So saying f— if you drop something on your foot or saying this is f-ing stupid is fine for me, but saying f— you to someone is not.)

"Son, we're Battlestar Galactica fans in this house. It's "frak", not "frick"".

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow frick. He got in trouble at school for saying “what the” because the recess monitor thought he followed it with “hell.”

Is your recess monitor a time travelling Pilgrim perhaps?

Don't they have some witches to go burn in Salem?

This is why having rules about cursing are dumb to begin with. It’s not the word itself that makes something rude or obscene it’s the idea. You created this situation years ago when you first made f*ck a big deal. Now your kid is obeying the rule but you want to move the goalposts. It makes you look capricious and petty and takes away some of your own authority/power. You should have made a rule about being rude so that your little lawyer in training wouldn’t have a loophole. I also don’t see why you would feel the need to limit a basic human expression like WTF. It’s a valid comment to make in many situations.

I don’t allow frick. He got in trouble at school for saying “what the” because the recess monitor thought he followed it with “hell.”